Dec 29, 2013

Alternate Realities

Having dreams featuring people in my life are fairly common, as they are for any dreamer. But then having a subsequent dream with a similar message the following night without people from my life really feels like its rephrasing the message for emphasis so I'll pay attention. Otherwise, I wasn't going to report the dream two nights ago. I meditated about another few pressing topics, and yet my dreaming had other plans. Occurrences like these really suggest to me that I'm in conversation with some other force not confined to my consciousness. When I try to prompt a dream before bed, interfacing with the invisible presence I believe to be my personal link (depicted in essence as my investigative partner in other dreams who exists omnipresently, capable of seeing the intricacies of happenings and motivations interconnected around me at once from a 'higher' vantage point) is the easiest way to sort out details and land on the right question to ask that accurately represents what I want to know. You see, the challenge of call-response dreaming is projecting the right desire to know something. It seems if I ask something not entirely accurate to what I need to know, the response will seem confusing or off-topic. In some of these instances where the dream didn't seem to relate to the topics of consideration I tried to prompt that night with, I have to assume its either because some other signal was stronger, or it is in answer to the question but as background prerequisite ideas before I can understand the true answer to my question. I have learned to accept that some truths are difficult to swallow, comprehend with our limited range of perception and experience, and even dangerous. We're still fishing around in the dark, trying to shine light to reveal the truth. Humans seek truth in a variety of ways. I'm particularly curious as to what extent dreaming is an outlet for unveiling truths. What is available in dreaming? Presumably anything, but there are barriers to overcome, obstacles both from internal sources and from other consciousnesses. And the dream scape is still a reflection of the physical realm. So information readily available to public knowledge is easy for me to channel, information protected by a small group is more difficult, but I might be able to see that a small group is hiding the information I seek or is manipulating the knowledge I seek. Most of the time though, I'm in my own way to learning things I wish to know. I have to put forth a deliberate effort in real life for that energy of investigation to code into the dreamscape.

I don't know what prompted this first dream of the two about alternate realities. Maybe it will be revealed to me as I write it out (often what happens:  the truth is in the details somehow, or by immersing in the scene where the coding lay).

Dec 19, 2013

Underwater Base

During my hiatus these last weeks, I've been contemplating how to characterize the kind of dreaming I do. Remote reviewers are not sleeping when they see, and I do not see with the same clarity when awake. I enjoy actually that I can relax, fall to sleep, and receive information and images while I'm recharging. It's like a double whammy. So, then what do I call what I do? There are aspects of channeling, there are aspects of remote viewing, and forecasting, and astral projection even. A better question really is how is it happening? I mulled over this question last night hoping once again to inspire a metaphorical response using imagery and scenario, as my dreams do. Based on some things Jim Mars said in an interview podcast with Linda Howe, I wondered if I am interacting with electromagnetic fields. Would that explain how I saw that storm that hit Spokane a couple years ago while I was camping. Something told me to take my caravan on a different route, I thought because it would be more fun than to go home to Portland the way we came (going west). Instead I turned south at the last minute, festered all night long because something had me on edge (to the point I spooked my younger sister and forced myself to hide the feeling so she would not erupt in an anxiety attack). I dreamed simply of a storm in the sky, heavy gray, rumbling clouds. I hoped to dream about my grandfather because the campground we stayed at was home of a great story my dad told me about. I never knew my grandfather so this was my greatest chance in a lifetime to catch a link to him.

Nov 30, 2013

Mechanized Youth

I'm telling you right now I have no idea what this next dream meant. Understand I dream every night, most are vivid enough for me to remember, only a few get recorded because some of them end up being so complicated with details I can't figure out how to even record it in words and sentences. Honestly, some of time its just so exhausting to spend time to record each one that I think on it instead throughout the days and hope it will become clearer. I see those more strange ones as being signals I'm not tuned to filtering yet. Like a station I just upgraded my equipment to receiving and its still coming through garbled. I haven't figured out how to clear up the signal. The themes and images will repeat themselves down the road when my antennae is more sensitive and tuned to reading those signals.

Dream Nov. 29/30th 2013

[Note: My son is named Link, and I have recently been playing Zelda Skyward Sword. We bought it a couple years ago and haven't dedicated the time to playing, my partner working 50-60 hr weeks, dealing with our toddler, house maintenance and chores, and writing occupy our time.]

(Out of order, an ending sequence) In this end scene I am pushing Link, my son, through a maze in a construction of a labrynth in Zelda. We pick up the last tear of the collection puzzle race, retrieve a new cat familiar [not sure where that element came from], and rush him into a microwave oven where his electronic player panel molded into his back can be registered to mark his completion. The results are printed out and I'm disappointed to learn that we took a 14 day hiatus. Other competitors finished the day of the initial race. We were way late. I explained to him that we wouldn't get any prizes or compensation because we had to pause our in-game play for too long while we tended to other matters. I had the memory download of when we started the game 14 days ago, but I guess I figured the in-game time was paused as well as our presence in the game. It had carried on ticking during that time away. I misunderstood the rules. We had a good shot at winning too if we were able to have carried on from the first day.

What were those other matters?

Scene change:  I'm with my family. We've received a letter from our dead grandmother. My dad calls someone at the listed location where she's having her wedding to explain that if this is indeed a wedding invitation then his mom has been forced into the engagement. She met this guy named Ted maybe 8 months ago. I'm skeptical of my dad's intentions. His dad, my grandfather, her husband, died years ago. I never knew him. Could he not believe that she was lonely and finally met someone who made her happy again? I argued with him in defense of my grandmother preparing for exactly what the letter says and that she is happy with him. Even if they don't last, she deserves my dad's support for her to make her own decisions and not assume she's being manipulated or blinded.

"Where's she having the wedding?"
"They're staying at her friend, Joss Whedon's, place for the wedding."
A confusing cross over of scenes erupts in my mind. "Wait, Grandma is friend's with Joss Whedon? I had a strange dream [dream within a dream] recently where I'm at Joss Whedon's place he's renovating, preparing for something. It's a cabin, but with three large connected rooms, and he's laying down fresh tile. How weird, right?"

[My partner informed me while I was telling his this dream today that he has a bizarre tie-in. Joss apparently filmed his next Shakespeare movie at his house. Two ideas I've been trying to work about dreaming are does information transmit between people with close relationship, and can information be easily received when enough collective thought and attention are devoted to it by others, unrelated to the channeler?

This may be building off a similar discovery I had yesterday while watching the first episode of the TV show Leverage. In the opening scene the lead character is sitting at a nice bar. I leap out of my seat in surprise and say "I know that bar, I've been looking for that bar! Where is that?" Leverage was filmed in my home town of Portland. I saw this bar in a particular dream that has lingered on my mind over the months because I was divided into two selves:  one bathed in light that enjoyed intimate time with my partner in a beautiful hotel room, the other was under a soul contract to terminate the lighted expression of me. I switched perspective between the two expressions of myself as my dark half carried out a surprise assault on my partner and I as we lay in bed. Read the whole story here.

"Is that a hotel bar?"
"Yeah I think so." Jim said.
"I've seen that place before. But I've never been there. And instead of the fireplace, that was the front entrance, though I knew it was oddly placed." In the dream context compared to the actual location's layout, when I ran from my dark self out of the hotel onto a cliff top viewing platform, I was running into the fireplace. I adventured down the cliff face dodging flash grenades she dropped at me from the hilltop. Perhaps I have been there before, I don't know.]

The final sequence I remember is being with an older woman dressed, like me, in elegant clothing and jewelry. We were queens. Our appearance reflected personal choices as if her own imagination produced the dress and styling she wore, as did my own for me. I appreciated the similar beauty she dressed herself in as my own, though I had figured her personality to hold no gentle compassion that her appearance before me expressed. It was a pleasant reminder of the complexity of the human soul.

There are large floating island-like ships in the sky. Our kingdoms? There is a sense of a drawn out war being the reality of this land, a war we both opposed and thought the wrong way to go about achieving the goal of the kingdom's we represented. We are on ground away from whatever elegance we may be from. We both come from a kind of poverty of spirit and have built our way up to be personalities of respect and representatives of the people.

A small ship drops down to release passengers. The ship is dark gray. Cyborg children are walking off. They were converted into these machinations against their will, because they had no where else to turn, they were picked up and used as soldiers by the machine race that we wage war against. I know if anyone else from my clan had been here to witness their release into the land, they would have killed them. But I couldn't bring myself to feeling they still contained the soul and body of the children our society failed. The machines recruit our outcasts and forgotten. I chase after them, asking them questions desperately to gain insight into the process.
One turns around and speaks with the same voice she had before the process. How much of who they are
really changed? Seems they were only given added programming, not wiped and made into automotons.
On each of them is a different part made of gold instead of the same dark gray material that covers the rest of their body. The gold highlights in my memory. What purpose does the gold play? They each show the gold or touch it favorably, like it was there prize for being converted, their incentive. They got to share in the wealth of the rich, but at a high price.
Finally I ask the most pressing question on my conscience:  "Did it hurt?" I say to the girl turning to follow down the path with her comrades.
A voice next to me answers "No. It didn't hurt." I look over into the face of a tiny infant still in its blanket, but fixed and weaved painfully into a pair of thin mechanical legs. The blanket had become fused to its skin as part of him, and his skin had a cold blue tint like death. The sight horrified me. I watched as they walked down the path, wondering where they were going, if they were even given instructions or just released as free agents until they were needed.

(Images were from Star Trek Voyager, the Borg race).

Both scenes showcased youth being pushed to fulfill obstacles and converted with technological alterations. Maybe a metaphor for how we abuse our children by encouraging a desire for material gain and to be above others or to long for the ease of living wealth and high status represents to those struggling to survive and find loving connection. The empty promises or failing promises that become lies. Our wealth, mine and the older woman's, was self-generated. We still related with those on Earth. I want to raise Link to create his own spiritual wealth, the confidence of knowing who he is and what he stands for, not to accumulate empty material gains.

Dialogue with Dream Programming

The mind is a receiver, tuning to a station is simply a matter of thought. Ideas, desires, emotions all have charge that attract information. Although I cannot anticipate what I will dream about or why ideas I had thought about recently formed the story of images they did to depict themselves, I have managed to have an increased awareness and bleed through of my waking personality and thought processes during dreaming. I'm able to question the choices of the dream's programming while in the dream as my avatar self.

Dream Night of Nov. 28/29th 2013

Alone in a house that is mine. A group that lives on the outside, moving town to town, is in my area. Their leader is a man I'm trying to avoid. He likes to torment me by invading my home, show little regard for its cleanliness, and indulge himself sexually in our tense attraction. I try to keep him out, not wanting to succumb to him. He comes in uninvited, using my place as a rest stop for his group.

Knowing came around that he was in the area again. I lock up my doors and windows and gates. As I'm setting the last gate, I see him through a crack in the wood panels. He pushes it open, and I relent. He knows I'm here now and I can't stop him from coming in. My effort to keep him out offended him. I was upfront explaining why I didn't want him here, that he disrespects my home, and tempts me away from my partner. "I love my family, I need to protect us." I say to him. He takes one look into my house and sees the baby gear everywhere. His mood changes. He becomes reserved and insists he'll leave us alone.

What a shock. That's unlike him. Why would he be so willing to ignore another chance to abuse his power over me? He leaves through the gate, showing me a glance of a beautiful dark-haired woman lain on a bed in a white dress in the initial throws of labor. I push the gate open with sparked interest. He has a pregnant woman in his band this time around, either one of his or someone he picked up. I walk directly to her with a strength of conviction. Someone in the group points me out to the leader. He looks up in surprise and displeasure. "Wait, no. What are you doing? I don't want your help." He says to me. I don't listen, I go to the woman who hasn't quite started the birthing process, but will soon. "She needs someone who knows about birth, which none of you do. I have the right setup for her with all the baby stuff already. There is no where better for her to be." I direct them to take her in.

Nov 28, 2013

Marine Creatures with Thermal Burns

Summary: Continuation of communication with water beings; Trying to woo my sweetheart, finding strange coins washed ashore; Childish in-fighting and unjustified territory and resource control.

Night of 25/26th November 2013

I'm in a cabin nestled in a hill under trees just before dusk. A few dim lights are on around the house. Rain poured during the night and into the early morning creating lines of water across the windows. My old friend, Kristin, is there. It's her parent's home, but it's nothing like her parent's home in my waking reality. There is no television, its a small, but modern home with wide windows and a low ceiling. I'm enjoying looking out the windows, absorbing the peace of the natural setting. Only a few other small residences line the hill further up, we are closest to the edge of the water, a bay, or mouth where a lake bleeds out into a river. I had the distinct sense that water flowed from the larger body into the river, not reverse, which implies a lake draining down by means of a river. This becomes an important distinction later.

I catch movement where the treeline meets the lake, and can't believe what I see. An upright, large brown bird humanoid (like the brown eagle woman that shapeshifted when she landed in the dream preceding my abduction) is folding its wings in and hovering through the trees along a stream and up the hill, curving around the cabin. I know in this moment of the dream that I had not seen one of these beings for a year and a half. Half in disbelief, I change vantage points to a different window to see if I can catch a glimpse of it through the trees as it turned up the stream. It comes into view again, changing red as it moved. Its feet, shaped like boots, hover a few feet above the ground. It's not flying, it's not walking. It's moving at an inexplicable hover parallel with the ground without moving its feet or wings. It's wings have folded in, covering its head and torso. I think its morphing but I don't catch what it's morphing into, only assume from the previous experience that it is shapeshifting to appear human.

"Did you see that?!!" I yell to my friend. "I can't believe it. Did you see?"
"See what?"

I look further up the road where it had gone and see two men walking down that pass it at a backwards angle. They must have noticed it, I think to myself. They are chatting and gesturing intently with one another. One dark haired, one blonde. They are wearing similar outfits and scarves. Uniforms of some kind? I was hopeful that these residents saw the bird being and could verify my sighting, then I realized... they are hovering too, but in a different fashion from the bird. They are walking on air a foot and a half above the beaten cement, one lane road. I fixate on this. How are they doing that? Are they aware that they're doing that? Is there cloaked road beneath them? Does it form only for them?

Nov 11, 2013

Existence in Solid state and Non-localized state

(See updated Theories page of this blog for overview of some of my major investigative working conclusions. Also see updated About page for common terminology definitions.)

Update to the forms ocean dwelling beings take in and out of the ocean of nonlocality. I dreamed I'm searching for a quick spot to fish with my father along a country road before the rain comes. There is already some flooding. Another truck zooms by us away from the mountain wilderness and into town to beat the storm. We spot a small, flooded pond that climbed the bank up to the driveway down to it. We fished off the concrete road that disappeared into the relatively little body of water.

Close to the shore I saw pairs of angel fish facing one another kissing. Beautiful sparkles and ribbons of blue, pink, and purple streamed from their kissing faces. They're making love, I thought, if love itself had a physical appearance. There were also long grey fish that looked like bass swimming colorlessly around. On top of the water were the strangest thing, floating spirits of angel fish wandering about, pursing their lips at the water here and there. I'm not sure if they were doing some kind of maintenance or gathering excess bits of love streams. I signaled to myself right there in the dream (my investigative thoughts have been highlighted to my dream self lately when updates occur) that I may have been inaccurate in my previous conclusion from water dreams before. Based on my previous water dream, what are represented as marine life are beings that only survives in the conditions of the ocean of nonlocality. In other words, they are beings of pure consciousness, or souls, that do not exist in solid state reality. But in this latest dream, a different idea to correct my previous assumption and enhance my overall understanding of how the ocean works, is a distinction between souls of these water dwelling beings, and their solid forms in the ocean. These water beings that exist entirely in the ocean (humans exist outside of the ocean on land, represented as land and buildings and play structures in my dream metaphors, but we can still swim in it via sleep and meditation) exist in as solid of form in ocean as we do on land. In order to exit the water and come into our medium, they must be formless energy. When they do so, they cling to the surface of the water from whence they came. To put it bluntly, there are sentient entities that freely move through the realm of pure consciousness, and for them to exist in our solid realm, they appear as spirit.

Nov 10, 2013

Red Marks - Case reported to MUFON #2

 Summary: New case study for red grid marks phenomenon; comparing and contrasting similarities of this case to others and evaluating legitimacy of marks as to be categorized with the other cases; introduction to experiment author/editor is conducting with red marks experiencer and ongoing experiencer of levitation and invasive visitations "Michael" from case study #1 about cracking the case of the red grid marks.

A woman filed a report with MUFON about a July 2013 incident where she awoke from a restless sleep with fatigue and an unusual mark on her leg.

The triangular shaped set of bruises seen above appeared first on experiencer's outer thigh of the right leg, then a similar one appeared on the other leg, inner thigh "about a week later". Woman is 59 with physical ailments. The picture shows significant bruising at the knee and at various spots around the bottom leg, possibly related to whatever medical problems she admitted having. Bruising is a common symptom of many blood disorders, including poor circulation found in obese patients. Frequent bruising would statistically produce a recognizable shape or patterned set of bruises or bruise eventually, so it's tough to call this one a truly strange event. However, the case may also be made that whatever force causes the other marks of the phenomenon might have utilized a present condition to mask evidence of their tampering.

Oct 27, 2013

Swimming with the Fish

Finally! I achieved swimming in the water with creatures of the non-localized ether ocean (beings that travel beneath normal space). This marked another step in exercising my abilities and expanding the limitations of consciousness travel. Prior to this, I was always depicted swimming on the surface, and strictly warned again and again about the dangers of submerging completely in the waters of the ocean without knowing where I wanted to be, or having any sort of lifelines to tether me. The lifelines my subconscious used were my two childhood family friends whom I explored life together, and simply the childlike joy of wanting to explore. Bizarre individualized fish creatures wandered into the area myself and my close friends (I refer to one of them as my adopted sister, and the other, her brother, as my childhood sweetheart in other posts, to illustrate the quality of our relationships) were exploring. The water was shallow, never more than twelve foot deep, clear and bright, and the sand white and clean. Only three fish beings came through our little area before continuing out into the greater ocean, where we didn't wander toward. Our perimeter was set up to the edges of the raised sandy bottom.

Oct 22, 2013

A Mother's Plea

I know that abductees recall their experiences as far back as toddler-hood. My son is two and a half years old and has been waking up crying and calling for me, hurriedly running into my room or too terrified to move out of his bed, saying in the few words that he has "Scared. Dinosaur. Scared." I had thought, he must be having dreams about dinosaurs. I asked him one morning about it "Did you have a dream about a dinosaur last night?" His smile changed to seriousness and he nodded in confirmation "Dinosaur.." babbling and
gesturing to his room about being scared and seeing a dinosaur. Now I have never shown him real depictions or dinosaurs. We read books from the library sometimes featuring cartoonish and silly dinosaur characters. How he could have made a connection on his own that dinosaurs are scary leaves me with a terrifying reality, one in which might be more than just a dream. On another occasion, when my partner was watching him, my son woke up upset. My partner went in and my son simply handed him the new little dinosaur stuffed toy (purple and blue, very cute and nonthreatening) his grandmother gave him two weeks ago. Then he laid back down and fell asleep again. Somehow, putting the dinosaur in Daddy's care, away from him and where he slept, was (I can't stop crying as type this).. As his protector, and given my absolute love for him, I have been resisting the idea that he might be experiencing encounters that I cannot prevent or save him from. All I can think to do is activate my own guides to fight for him and tell him that no matter what anyone or anything says, that Mommy loves you, on the off-chance that these dinosaurs would try to manipulate him away from me. I won't let them take away the foundation I have worked so hard to provide of love and support. It's important to me, given my own history of childhood abuses, that he feels protected, that he has someone present in his life to rely on while he is young.

Oct 18, 2013

Discovering My Missions

Summary: Three dream sequences interrelated to defining roles I falsely believe will provide me satisfaction, while helping me envision a setup that captures the truer essence of my joy and purpose; how my desire to belong is misunderstood and hinders my ability to carry out my soul missions; highlighting one's strengths in a creative and fun way with a Character Sheet. 

I've needed a way to define what my missions are in life at this time, and what I'm wanting since I've been dreaming a couple nights lately of just the type of setup that would make me rather happy. Those two dreams featured me as a member of a group, led by someone I respect and seek the approval of. We are a community team of maybe five people handling strange jobs, though I don't understand the purpose. I just know I thoroughly enjoyed the tasks and the community was minimalistic. The sheriff at the police station, a good friend of our leader's, entrusted us to locate three missing white llamas that were reported escaped. These were special gifts for an exchange to take place as a sign of good faith with another community. They meant peace for our town. I drove around determined to find them. We searched through the dirt roads and streets overrun with grasses so that only the tire tracks marked the paths. I found one, Martin, and loaded him into the backseat, where he lay down. Another I sensed was being unrightfully claimed by a patron when it wandered into his yard. These llama were valuable, a prize to catch for a lowly farmer. One another was already caught by one of our teammates. I heard (information download style because it was not by radio) that this last one was being claimed and I felt comfortable to negotiate with the farmer with honesty of the situation, trusting he would relinquish claim for the good of his community. I was disappointed these other two were found before me, as I wanted to earn our leader's praise for catching them all. Still, I was satisfied to find the one right off and help negotiate for the third.

Oct 1, 2013

Spirit Walking

It's late, already 7pm and the sun is down, but only now is my family ready to go on a day trip to the mountain. I'm emotionally desperate to revel in nature that I don't care how late it is. My father expects we will just sleep in the vehicle when we arrive since it's so late already, but it won't hold us. A small train with two cars pulls up and the whole side of one car strips back to allow us entrance. The inside is divided into compartments. My dad says we are each receiving assigned roles and titles. I can sense the unattached frustration in his manner. [The dream a few days ago featuring him cleaning the debris and junk out of the yard showed him with the same attitude. I have not seen my dad in over 6 months. But I suspect he is reaching a turning point in the state of his life with regard to the conditions of his home and the lack of motivation and forward movement by the household.] This was a suggestion I made to him in email about how to lead by assigning titles and clear roles that utilize their skills, so the focus is on contribution to the whole and feeling valuable. He assigns us with letters, though, not something I recommended or was familiar with. I am assigned "A" to mean second in command, assistant to the leader. My sisters each get a letter following that. Then, my partner, he calls him Mulder from X-Files (haven't even gone through 2 seasons of the show, but the concept of two partners like Scully and Mulder have been included in my dreams before to depict that kind of investigative relationship), gets the same 'A' assignment. I am relieved, because he was sitting in the end compartment and would seem to get the last letter. But my father recognized his usefulness and his importance as my teammate.

Along our train ride, trouble strikes. A highly trained thief and assassin had stowed aboard. She is dressed in a red chinese kimono dress with very short sleeves. Her hair is black and pulled back with a stick. Lips that classic red that covers only the immediate center to look like she is puckering all the time, and powdered white face. Long dangly earrings.

Seeing Maps and Spelled Out Names

While killing time with my son after our outing to the library, sitting in the car waiting for him to settle down into his carseat, I pulled out a California map from my Atlas and searched yet again for the National Park I had found once before immediately after a dream with the white letters on black background spelled out in my mind just before I woke that read "Yosemite National Park." It was the strangest thing. I have never been to this park, nor had I heard of it in recent years, and it had no significance to me. Seeing maps and specific locations I've never seen before is one of the more exciting and bizarre elements of dreaming that lends it substance in the real world. Despite hours of studying three different maps, I couldn't find the damn park. I gave up. That was weeks ago. Then today, Google so happens to feature Yosemite NP in its logo because Yosemite celebrates its 123rd anniversary. I had the name download (dream?) earlier this year (2013; see link above).

Sep 28, 2013

The Worm Connection

Summary: Manmade flying object confiscated by reckless locals; Swamp water transfers worm-like creatures that burrow in my skin, and the effort to expel them from my body; Invading worm creatures Metaphorical analysis of meaning of water throughout my dreams, followed up with plan to induce particular dream imagery that would validate my theory.

Nights Sept 27/28th 2013 and many other dreams referenced not recorded elsewhere

I step onto a low dock over a swamp. It's after dusk so the sky holds faint light over the horizon, but the sky is mostly purple and dark blue with many clouds. There may have been a rainstorm earlier that day. My attention is toward the sky, so details of the swamp are vague. An orange star-like object moves up from the horizon faster than a plane is capable of. I feel like it responds to me, is aware of me watching it. When it does obtuse angle shifts, I suspect it's more than any known object. I wait for the giveaway sudden dart across the sky like a shooting star, which UFC technology is recognized for because modern science (or at least what's available to public knowledge) is not capable of doing yet. It darts a few hands, then slows quickly. Odd. It wasn't as fast as I expected. Is this not an extraterrestrial craft? It changes course to come down to me. Other people by now have noticed it and have come to the dock. Two civilian men are standing in the swamp where it hovers down to. It looks like a truck with a large camper, except it has plane wings and a metal cage over top with a satellite dish, and is 1' wide across the bumper x 2' long. On the hood and on either side of the vehicle reads NASA. Oh. It's a drone. The locals standing with me are bothered by the object. One grabs it out of the air where it hovers to the side of the dock just above the water. It's engine whirs as the propeller on top in the cage contraption no longer holds the weight or can dictate it's position. Whomever is controlling it is obviously trying to get the drone loose. I tell them to leave it alone, that it's an experiment for NASA and means us no harm, that someone worked hard on it and its not our place to claim ownership. The man holding it speaks sarcastically at the truck. A woman's voice returns, its controller and likely its engineer. "Let it go please." The woman says over a radio somewhere in the mess of rods on this device. "See?" I tell them, "Someone will be looking for it."

"Oh, then we should make sure it's working properly for her." Another man says as he pulls on some tubes. "Do you think this helps?" He says carelessly. I argue, and reach for it to try and pry it away, but I get knocked down in the swamp. My arm makes contact with the surface. I quickly stand up and study my arm. The water was known to be infected. The locals wear tall boots when they have to wade through it. Tiny brown worm creatures are burrowing furiously under my skin. There's no blood, they are only a centimeter or two long and no thicker than a few strands of hair. I wipe my arm with my other hand to prevent more from disappearing into my skin. I know a few already made it in. I'm no longer concerned with the device, I have to get out because they are swarming the bottom of my legs already.

The remedy was to put the body part under hot water. Somehow it suffocates them or is too intense that they escape by leaving the skin of the host. Except when they do the hot water directly on them kills them. I watch in horror and relief as many more than I thought had made their way in are climbing out of my arm. Some are escaping by moving further up the arm. I have to adjust the location of the water. I even, at some point wrap turnoquits to cut off circulation and access to the rest of my body. I repeat on the other arm, again, finding many more than I thought had entered falling out. Still no blood or holes when they evacuated. I only saw the bumps of them crawling under the skin and the progression of their bodies climbing out before they fell into the sink. I had to do the same with my legs, the worst infected. I drew a hot bath and conceptualized how I would tie my upper legs and sit in the water without lowering too much of myself. I didn't want them to touch any other part of me. They couldn't climb out of the water, they needed that medium for some reason. So only what touched the water (outside of my skin) could be accessed. The hot water may not be killing them enough, just expelling them from the skin.

The Worm Theme

Of all the recurring themes (see also post featuring worms attack in desert that were snakes in the forest, but worms in the desert, and human-arthropod hybrid, and post where I almost sit on a grub, also encounter with deviant alien worm creature in small UFO not previously recorded on this blog, and finally see posts under marker DS1 detailing my theory about a blood-dependent parasite that feeds on humans and related dreams in this series) I've dealt with over this last year, this one may be the worst for me. I cringe at the notion of worms that want to crawl into my body, but for some reason it's important enough to keep coming up. My working theory is that this theme represents disease, or virus because it seems triggered by content from my waking life featuring virus outbreak. A kind of blood disease? (See dream post about retro-virus at the end. I haven't actually recorded this one, ugh. Too many. Understand that I still have recorded dreams from November and December 2012, and apparently that one from January 2013. Bear with me on that. I dream every night and don't always record them, though I remember them, and find I have to describe them first in order to reference them when they become relevant later.)

I can't escape the presence of water as the medium for transference of these buggers. I've been asking lately to my dream guides, "What happens when I submerge in the water", metaphorically I am asking why haven't I been depicted under water, only swimming on top of the surface or above. What does it mean for me to be submerged? How does that translate to my effort to travel body and spirit connected in the ether to other realms and worlds? The answer of this dream suggests I would pick up a kind of spiritual parasite if I were to do so. This idea has been communicated to me before, the risk of traveling through the spirit realm without an anchor in the physical. There are different regions in water and different regions on land; there are different regions in the spiritual plane in either situation of being tethered to the land, and free-floating in or under the water. So if I even tough a tainted, or dangerous region of the spiritual plane, even with a shallow depth from the land, I can contract a 'spirit virus.' I believe it's a caution to not blindly jump away from my safety tether, which is my body on the physical realm. I need to know where I'm going. Well, how do I know where I can go though? Can I swim in a tank with my friendly seal brothers, instead of open ocean? A tank that is regulated and maintained by loving, tethered groundskeepers? I've seen many swimming pools and closed play structures over the water, and large showers and baptismal-like tubs. Could that have all been cluing me in as to what kind of closed water source I need in order to do the kind of travel I want? In one recent dream I was hopping in and out of swimming pools in a training exercise running away from my mates. They had to catch me, but rarely dared to jump in the pools. They preferred to stay on land, and when they did jump only one of them did in any pool and they were slower than I could swim. I perhaps have the potential to move swiftly and acrobatically in and out of body-spirit realms. This makes sense given my explorations into how it would be possible to identify anything solid while traveling as non-local energy. I dreamed it was like running alongside a large pipeline in an closed facility. I stopped when I noticed a toy I wanted to pick up to keep for my son. In other words, you can see what you're passing by, just at a tremendously faster pace and processing power.

The only tank dream I had with my assigned seal friends, they were frozen and drowning. I criticized their caretakers and tried to throw rocks in, but was overcautious about contacting them or the water. The caretakers then unfroze the water and watched me suspiciously, wondering why I was trying to interfere and feeling offended by my assumption that they were doing a lousy job of monitoring the animals conditions. Who can I have represent the caretakers so I can trust them to perform their job well? Any marine biologists depicted in movies like Free Willy, and Andre. I should rewatch them for fresh content if I have any hope of this working.

Indicators of Rough Winter Approaching?

(Originally published 9/28/13)

Further analysis from post "Communicating with Other Realms and Advancing our Technology"

In the above post, I discussed the entity's warnings from the CHANI project. He said to watch our Sun, and talked about a merging.

Contactees are familiar with the symbol of two triangles overlapping, one upside down, one upright, with the tips 'merged.' This symbol has been seen on the uniforms of many extraterrestrial/dimensional beings, and was explained to mean 'the merging of two worlds.' The merging may not be of two physical objects, but of two dimensional worlds, the physical plane with the higher vibrational one where our galactic neighbors move freely through, a sort of ocean of infinity.

Our sun (See heading "Dwindling Resources and the Coming Ice Age" in this post for further info.) has had the lowest maximum number of sun spots in 200 years (article link). The last time it was this low triggered a mini ice-age. Scientists warn about terrible weather and colder than usual winters. My dreams about an arctic wasteland where San Francisco once was and torrential rainfall with flooding in the Pacific Northwest didn't make sense to me until now. I thought it was related to an Earth's polar shift (which I'm still not ruling that out, but I don't know how to gauge that event). Much of the weather information I've been accumulating is beginning to come together. The erratic Jet Stream, the abnormal weather conditions in places not used to such extremes, the warnings about horrible storms and a cataclysmic event from various sources. Sensitives everywhere 'feel' a pressing urgency to prepare for catastrophe. I have never felt inclined to talk to people outside of this blog about it all until putting it together with the reports about the Sun's lack of activity this year. Again, I do not approve of doomsayers, and I am not trying to be. I have heard the change will be sudden, happening in the span of a season, particularly in a summer or spring season (though I don't know why). All I tell people in my circle is to prepare for a rough winter, just in case.

Sep 19, 2013

Quenching a Thirst

Summary: Symbiosis with a sexual spirit;  Awkward intimate encounter set-up; Surface of water as an intermediary between dimensions; Obsession with water; Quest to learn how to travel inter-dimensionally with body and soul joined; Cattle mutilations supplying evacuation planets for Earth's people.

I'm carrying around an attachment to a sexual spirit that I may have invited as a type of walk-in to teach and explore with me this body's sexual impulses, needs, and nature. It is called regularly when my hormonal cycle reaches a certain stage, and it demands I yield to let it settle the built up energy. It very well could be feeding on it in a symbiotic relationship. I once dreamed I was a vampire starving myself because I didn't morally approve of my biological nature to feed on humans. In a desperate act that overtook me, I fed on a human I was supposed to be in cooperation with. The act was sexually pleasurable feeding on the muscle above his collar bone. I was abhorred with myself when my higher brain functions returned. Worried I killed the last human I ran to the upper floor, only to be greeted by zombified humans. Not wanting to be infected, I fell out a window. I was redeemed, able to to join the survivors in a peaceful, post-apocalyptic society by the ocean. In this respect, it would seem I fought this demon before, and now am able to carry it around in cooperation. Is this the dragon I fought and have absorbed in successive lifetimes?

Couple nights ago, I dreamed I had intimate relations with someone from my elementary school that I knew of up and out of highschool, whom I never had interest for, so it was awkward at first. But we still connected and found we had an appreciation for each other that allowed us to express it, though we didn't ever really interact throughout our school careers together. But what's more interesting that highlighted this scene of the dream in my memory is that we met in a boat on a dock to be together. We just lay down in the boat. And I had the sense that some other figure was present who was facilitating the exchange, like the figure led me to this boat to be with this old acquaintance. It felt setup; there was a pressure or expectation that we were to lay with each other.


In my research and intrinsic motivation to understand the fabric of reality and its relationship with perception -because it is key to explaining how beings are able to manifest, or phase, in and out of our dimension/reality/space-time line - I came across an account detailed in a book by Ruth Montgomery "Aliens Among Us" (which always ignites the tune to "Angels Among Us" in my head), in which she relays her correspondence with a contactee and walk-in who identified the visitors his son first encountered as Kantarians (so they called themselves). He told Ruth they are 'interdimensional' beings rather than from our own space-time continuum. They are one race who has guided Earth since our beginnings and are devoted to helping us through an eventual cataclysm, as they have done before. "Itan informed that he and his friends were from another planet that existed in another dimension. They had visited Earth for centuries and had attempted to make some contact with humans, but found most of them to be too manipulative and selfish..." (pg 91).

My subconscious fleetingly thought "I still don't understand interdimensionality" and moved on, without dwelling on it. The feelings was a simple truth that surfaced for an instant than subsided. I didn't pay much mind to it because it has been a piece of the enigma I have been trying to comprehend.

Last night's dream let me experience how this interdimensionality feels, in order for me to understand it. I understand through psychological experience, visually and immersively, thus dreams are a perfect method for my learning. I'm in a small group of at least two other women (mothers from my waking life). We are skipping through dimensions all based on the same outline. Not the same space-time, each dimension is its own space on its own timeline, however, it all features the same setting outline and the same colony of people as outlines. They are each independent, but similar. Only way I know to describe it is to take a page from a children's coloring book and copy it. Give ten different people and children a page and let them color it. Each will be unique, but ultimately it is based on the same template or outline, just colored differently. Each dimension is based on the same template of a building and a culture of people. But the culture, dress, personalities, details in each dimension is 'colored' differently.

Sep 6, 2013

The Other Shade of Reptilian: Part 2 of Sexual Hunger

(See post "Sexual Hunger" for more details leading up to this)
Spiritual Plot, Hunger Fever, and My Handler(s)

Last night I sat outside in the cold aftermath of a rainstorm while my son went to sleep, to decompress, and mourn somehow. Throughout the day people were pointing out to me my tardiness in dates:  not checking my phone for messages, not providing ample warning of schedule changes, not turning in application until close to the training dates, not replying to my client until two days before a session, not finishing the story I needed for our session until the day before. Perhaps some of those delays are understandable to the variety of things I manage (notably my son), but it degraded me nonetheless. I cowered meekly, embarrassed that I would be defined as irresponsible or flaky. I explained to each of them as best I could part of the problem that I provide myself flexibility where I can to not overstress about life or live by a clock, like I did for ten years of my life during school. I clarified a few other points for them, depending on my honesty to appeal to their sympathetic natures, but when I sat outside, I let the deep truth spill over me. I am caught up in a complex story which I cannot seem to explain to anyone else in a way that makes sense or catches their interest enough to listen and grant me the benefit of the doubt. I wouldn't need their approval through expressed interest if it wasn't for the fact that my own critical mind doubts the reality of my elaborate and unprovable fantasy.

I gave myself permission to write it out as if I were to make an actual evaluation based on the self-evidences I have. Here they are, as bizarre as they sound:

Sep 3, 2013

Sexual Hunger

 Summary: Human female cycle, hormonally induced sex drive having purpose beyond reproduction; Cattle skinning operation; Price for an old debt; blood and alien connections.

Each month for at least one day and night I become sexually hyper with such hormonally driven desire, it's not only distracting, its practically consuming. All my effort is spent keeping it in check. Otherwise, the only cure seems to be screwing anyone and everyone. Either this is the side of the female reproductive cycle that just doesn't get discussed in sex ed, or am I a nymphomaniac. I jokingly refer to it as being "in heat", of the "use it or lose it syndrome" when the conditions of the uterus are right to receive fertilization or else the egg will be expunged (when woman is most fertile; see article on human female estrus new findings). If you were to pack the number of times a typical male supposedly thinks about sex on a daily basis (every 6 minutes, though not substantiated, more as social humor) throughout the month (60/6 =10 times an hour x 16 hours awake =160 x 30 days =4800 times per month) into a 24 hour period, that's the concentration of sexual motivation I feel on this particularly day my cycle. It is insatiable, full-body experience that keeps me awake at night.

Dwindling Resources and the Hard Choices our Galactic Neighbors will have

"There is a great cycle of climate that began 2.8 million years ago and has resulted in the fundamental destabilization of your world's weather system"
-Mysterious Stranger in conversation with Author Whitley Streiber

The Dream
Weekend night either late July or early August 2013

Traveling in country roads as hitchhiker in my local valley with my two year old son. Stumble across a town I never knew was there. Bustling with people and little shops. Some old buildings are vacant and closed up. People are friendly. What is this place? I had to ride a bike to get through the path entrance covered in rubble from an old bridge over the main thorough fare. The central town is no more than a couple blocks with the main street curving around the outside of it. Along the left is a river with lush growth. A favorite playing spot for the locals. Given its proximity to the road, it feels to be part of the town.

I expected there to be a connecting road back to the main country highway that would go into Alansville (town names changed). I ask people where another highway is. They answer that the only road is the way we got in. Someone asks where I'm headed. I say Alansville. They point in the direction of Alansville, very off from where I figured it to be. They said I'd have to go through Georgeland first, but the layout they are talking about, considering I came from Brittsburg don't make sense. Where is this place? How come I've never heard of it or seen it before? I follow the road around again as it turns along the top edge, now 180 degrees from the direction I started. At the end of this road is parking at the edge of a strange ocean. Its water is crystal clear without waves. How is an ocean without waves? It also seems to be an overlapping reality on the land-locked location of where this town supposedly is. The ocean looks both endless over the horizon, yet it only goes out a certain way and fades. I can see the country side of the farm-lands I am used to seeing beneath it.The water is flooded on the parking lot. Cars are parked in feet of water. I try to draw people's attention, but it seems this is typical and of no concern since the water level doesn't change. I walk along the rim of the raised parking hill only a few feet from the water's edge (an inconsistency, how is the water raised onto the hill in some places, but low in others?). A couple kids are playing at the shoreline that looks more like a lake shore. My son wants to play and I allow him for a few minutes while I look out.

Aug 29, 2013

Snakes, Frogs, and Dragons: Part 2 of Dwindling Resources...

(Author Note: I'm working on my book lately, so the number of posts I make may reduce to once a week.)
(See "Dwindling Resources and our Galactic Neighbors difficult choices" for more lead in to the topic as follows, though posted out of sequential order.)

I am starting to read a book by a hyno-regression therapist who compiled a dozen cases together for analysis about other-worldly visitations by unknown beings. Skimming through looking for images, I found a few drawings by her patients of some of the strange creatures they encountered. A couple nights ago I dreamed yet again about frogs, snakes, and a terrifying dragon. These animals are not significant to me in any way I'm aware of, other than what my dreams are bringing up. Honestly, it would seem to me, given the information and analyses I have so far, that they might represent different species interacting with Earth.

Aug 19, 2013

Learning to Fly

After the dream challenge when I was encouraged to jump off a waterfall into a thin river below, I began to re-evaluate just how strong my faith in my imagination and courage to enjoy creating the things I want to see and experience is in my dream state. Why didn't I trust how consciousness works with dream physics to fly, or adjust as I descended to landing in the water? This should have been an obvious possibility for my level (I refer to my skills in dream dynamics and spirit communication and attributes of my person in real life like I am playing a game, more entertaining and uplifting that way). Fear still has power over me. Determining the complex inter-relationships between dreaming and the solid matter world continue to fascinate and evade me. Small victories retain my hope that there is such an intimate relationship of affect and effect between the two worlds. If there is a delay in the magnetic attraction between a question and answer, what someone requests in honest need then receives in the solid state world, how do acts that defy solid state laws of physics translate from the infinite possibilities of the flowing energy state? How can flight become possible?

Aug 13, 2013


The following events happen in sequence as I move from one area to another for different reasons. Without bogging my memory down with the order, I will simply lay out every scene and interaction I can recall.

Night of August 12/13 2013

Enclosed colony used as venue for spirit family reunion. Tenants are organized into a women's wing of dormitories and a male's wing. In kitchen spaces with foods brought from home or immediately from the store, some middle aged women are organizing and moving in and out of.

Waiting for Chris, Shantey, and Otus (the adopted family that grew up with mine) to arrive. Excited they could come. I haven't seen Chris and Shantey in so long, and I've long wanted to build a more intimate relationship with Chris. He served a tour of duty overseas and its changed him, made him anxious to settle down and enjoy quality company of someone he loves, which he already has trouble handing out. I've been a preference for him, especially since returning. The years since our childhood have matured us, but not quite far enough it seems to return us to each other. Fate always has seemed to have a plan against us. Whenever one of is available, the other is in a dedicated relationship. I finally claimed more choice in our fate by, at least in my imagination, allowing the possibility of loving two men simultaneously:  my current partner and father of my child, and my childhood sweetheart. We aren't financially ready nor emotionally prepared for this sort of trial and commitment, but it helps me to have it as a solution to the conundrum it's tortured me with for so long.

Aug 12, 2013

Another Theme Completed

Summary:  Stubborn math test finally completed and stress overcome for a satisfying completion of this lesson's term in spirit school; An old relationship with a young dead man returns;  Field trip to distant island and ruins; Circular artifact with pictographs improperly decoded; The failing of modern ability to translate ancient picture messages.

A common theme I've wrestled with decoding the meaning of and finding completion of (how I get recurring dreams to cease), is the school based dreams where I am going to be taking the final or some test and forgot to study or refresh material I've studied earlier in my education. Often I had fallen behind on my math homework or made a silly mistake on a test that would sabotage the whole grade. I become overly stressed. To be clear, I am not in school, I have not taken math in a few years; I perceive this as a metaphor not derived from immediate content of my life in such a direct ratio, rather it is conveying the idea that I am forgetting to do something I already knew the math principles at some time before. 

Sometimes this same message is portrayed as forgetting to have practiced my lines before a play and the build up of stress as my part approaches.

Well, whatever I did yesterday, my soul approved of.

Aug 10, 2013

Why are we being Harrassed by Unknown Visitors?

The contact whose case study I posted about in the Red Grid Marks Phenomenon, "Michael", the alias I've assigned him, continues to have levitation and probing experiences at night by a visiting presence. We chat via email or Skype semi-regularly to check in on any progress he's made at changing the dynamics of these experiences that illicit dread and terror in his consciousness. (To read about Michael's case study, see the links for Case Study #1 listed on the Investigations page under the 'Red Grid Marks' heading.)

Discussing with someone the reality of these night-time experiences and the accompanying feelings he unwittingly hides from his everyday relationships has seen minor progress in the level of control he has during the events. Most importantly, he has found a voice to be able to question and speak to his offenders. Our goal together is to determine why it is happening to him, given that this might also provide clues as to the grid marks that appeared on us both, as well as enhance his ability to affect in the unconscious state:  comparable to having direct affect in the content or direction of ones dreams, though his experiences are "half awake, half asleep".

Aug 6, 2013

What is Telepathy

Telepathy is rooted in empathy. There is no thought communication without compassion and awareness through surrender. By surrender, I mean the relaxed calm of participant observation rather than imposing will or resistance; being open and curious to whatever truth/reality might come in. Telepathy is the ability to connect and thus experience another living being's profound or strongly imprinted feelings, ideas, and experiences. You bear witness as a participant and observer in their experience that has made them what they are. You feel their pains and joys without judgment, surrendering your own life for a moment to share in theirs. Rather than following through their life moment to moment, the time and place you experience is decided by magnetic attraction. That is, whatever you are wondering about them, you are taken on the journey to demonstrate the answer. Say you wish to know about archeaology as it relates to water erosion, that creates a magnetic charge. An appropriate person matching the charge requested is attracted to you, especially if they too could learn something from you. For a thought to be seemingly imposed onto another person, that creature must be so strongly concerned for the receiver as to care more for them than the person themselves realizes they can be loved. The being transmitting is summoning sensations and possibilities already present in the person, they are simply drawing it to the surface like a magnetic force.

Writer's Block: Fear

With how difficult it has been to power through my hesitations and hang ups toward completing the last few sections of my book and seriously searching for a publisher, I started to wonder if the lack of insight or motivation from my dreams regarding my work on the book should finally be acknowledged as a sign of either disapproval or irrelevance of my ideas. I know expanding the current framework of our understanding of imaginary beings and presences, and for the field of psychology, what constitutes as an imaginary companion is a worth while idea to put into the world. But I won't deny the appeal of its sellability and my hope to make my own money through my writing with the book. It is still a selfish thing. Really my concern is that I haven't executed the topic clear enough or interestingly enough. What if I can't defend/sell it to a publisher? What if not enough people buy it for me to even make a profit and begin a writing career? What if my other ideas are too far out there that no one will receive them? Am I delaying because I keep fearing that it will be a moot point soon if the veil falls (aka, humanity's ability to communicate with thought is restored and deceit can no longer pervade, as well as our ability to transcend back into free-movement through time and space on the )? Rather, our spiritual guardians finally land to help us clean up our mess! WHAT am I talking about? Even if that is to come soon, there will need to be a catalyst for it? Quite honestly, I am catastrophizing. I delay because I fear the Earth will enter into its next phase toward an ice age. Catastrophic weather will lay waste to America and Europe and those who survive will be so overwhelmed with just trying to survive the shift to foraging and escaping and mourning to be bothered with my little book.

My dedication to tracking and researching for my dreams should give me clue enough that maybe I would be happier working for a dream research institute? So I indulged in that thought into sleep.

The dream that night had other plans.

Jul 30, 2013

What is a Gift of Need? - Part 2

I also dreamed the night of July 29th 2013 about being too hard on my little sister for wasting the pie I made from scratch when she was just trying to offer a gift of friendship to Jim's older sister. I couldn't reconcile my compassion for her wanting to make a friend of Jim's sister, and my own frustration at how she ignored the gift I provided by casually discarding part of the pie. I argued that she didn't respect the time it took me to make that. I do have selfishness with my gifts. While she was willing to cut it up to fit the preference of the person she was trying to comfort and show friendship for.

Virtual Reality's Impact

Do our actions in virtual reality, in playing pretend, have impact on our lives? When we shoot a person in an FPS, what is reinforced in the mind by that action? Despite paranoid assumption, studies are disproving the inclination of kids and teens to lean toward violence by playing violent video games. They may be offering an outlet for natural aggression. Anger, usually perceived as a negative emotion, has a place like any other, and has incredible power for change when directed properly. Wrestling for fun is an aggressive sport. It provides a means of releasing that energy in a somewhat controlled and productive manner. Is it instigating violence? These aggressive sports are a mode of learning. Coaches and parents can use these activities as the medium through which other valuable lessons are learned. Athletes can be the most disciplined, generous, quick to act and help, motivated individuals around with a deep sense of morality, if guided to be so.

Jul 28, 2013

Learning to Sing in Harmony

 "Special characters I would classify as true visitations by a telepathic entity are distinct and genuinely unique, without material used from relationships in your physical and emotional experiences."

Summary: Analyzing dream character imprints from people in waking life; Small group of survivors in the desert; Relations with a human-arthropod hybrid mother; Establishing my limitations on willingness as alien companion; Which group to teach whose language; Snake and worm attack; Laying eggs in wounds of human host; Theory on purpose of hybridization as it relates to Universal Consciousness Source (God); Advanced alien genetics experiments.

Jul 26, 2013

Seeds of Change

 Summary: Challenging perception of reality; feeling outcast by failure to conform to imposed standards; symbolizing reform on popular notions of sex and intimacy and commitment; standing out despite my best efforts to hide; holding true to personal beliefs; encounter with visiting member of my own kind to remind me of my purpose and origin and that I am be looked out for with restrictions.

Morning of July 26th 2013

My partner, Jim, and I wake up (in the dream) to discover our son is somehow home early from daycare, and his family (distant and immediate relatives, spirit ancestors I didn't recognize) were arriving for an upcoming wedding. "Did you bring him home?" I ask Jim, who had come home early from work himself. "No." "Why is he home?" I find the journal his daycare provider and I use to write notes and daily progress about Link back and forth, a sort of check-in. She had wrote that she was taking an impromptu afternoon off because a girlfriend was in town and the girlfriend dropped the kids off at their homes. How irresponsible and impulsive, I thought! [My daycare provider would never do this?! How weird that this is the second dream using her person in a rather negative way. The dream coder just needed the shock that would provide, I know.] She should have told us and checked that we were even awake and ready to care for him.

Jul 25, 2013

Race for Freedom

Swore I had a flying car racing dream a few nights ago, but it didn't stick very well. Last night, I had a clearer running racing dream. That alone is interesting. It suggests a message will be repeated in a different context if the previous one did not encode well enough for me to grasp it. I am currently in the process of data analysis now that I have nearly 200 dreams recorded over the last 9 months. I averaged a recording every other day. Many are still not posted here on this blog, but I have them compiled in detail in spiral notebooks. The hope is that I can begin to put together an idea of what is going on, what is so important to be sending me series of thematic dreams, as many as five in one night. Is there a linear pattern? Do they tell a story? Up to this point I have believed they have been responding to my daily life, irrelevant for the most part to one another. But after summarizing a months worth of dreams, there may be a progression. I will update my results here in semi-real time, for free to readers. If it all turns out to be significant, as I suspect it will be, this will all be the subject matter for my second book after the one I am trying to wrap up on imagined beings.

Night of July 24th/25th 2013

Jul 23, 2013

The Little, Simple Things

Summary: What determines my dream content; Gardening encouragement and tips; Back to the classroom; Dredging up old relationships; Metaphorical lessons on recurrent subjects Math and Reading in school setting dreams; Frustrations with contact and faith; Applying the visual help I'm shown.

Night of July 22/23rd 2013

Every night before I fade to sleep, I wonder what will my dreams show me tonight. Will it be something about earlier in my day nudging my attention to, or will it be something entirely different about something I could not have imagined, or will it be a series of scenes meant to illustrate a complex message to a question, or will it just be a simple answer to a problem I am having?

Jul 22, 2013

No One Can Move a Statue

Summary: How an educated stance/opinion/belief translates in dreaming; erotic scenes meant to abuse my easily activated sex drive and the answer to my concern if I am being manipulated by means of that weakness; a neutral perspective on the Reptilian breeding agenda; an extra for my sport-loving partner and family during our vacation.

Night of July 14th/15th 2013

A young woman and I are visiting at a covered area at a park where random people of various ethnicities are loitering. We all chat friendly until one of them offers us a good time with some weed. I reject him kindly and boister my familiarity with the drug, which prompts an Haitian woman with large teeth and gaps to interject about an even better time she can offer. I catch her trick and say "You are just trying to peddle your PCP, don't lie, I know that's what you're on." She laughs and concedes. Two men nearby are intrigued by our presence among these sketchy types and exclaim their action of wanting to come sit with two pretty girls.

Rupturing a Hole in the Fabric of Reality

In Super Mario Bros. 3, on two levels there is a cheat move that allows Mario to go behind the image of the 2D platform world and run through the level without having to deal with the enemies and dangers. Crouching down on certain white blocks for a few seconds will let Mario drop in behind the scene. This sneaky move only works at a couple particular spots, but lets you glide past obstacles in record time to the reward screen at the end of the level. Behind the reward screen, if you make it that far staying behind the scene, is a warp that allows the player to jump to a level farther ahead in the game.

What if we could do this relative to our 3 and 4D realities?

Jul 19, 2013

Handling Distractions

Summary: Object perception manipulation; missing element of the puzzle; color frequencies as dimensions; options for dealing with sexual tension.

Recorded scene from series of dreams on Night of 9th/10th 2012

I am at my parent's house again, coming up stairs to the attic converted into bedrooms. I avoid Chris out of obligation, suppressing strong desire for him to jump me. His little brother Otus is playing an old SNES game I recognized in the dream and have dreamt about before but can't remember the name of it. He's having trouble finding the yellow (what resemble cotton balls) hidden throughout the game. They aren't important to the story of advancement, he's just being a completionist. Where were they, I tried to remember from when I played the game. They were random drops after enemy battles.

Time Play and Perception Manipulation

An unexpected aspect of my dreaming has been taking place in the last month. They have been precognitive to concerns I will end up having the following day. At first I thought it was deja vu, or I was prompting myself, but I didn't even think about the dreams as containing ideas on the issues I will have that day. It's difficult to explain. Though I will ask something specific the night before to be explained, clarified, answered, or give information about, this incredibly off topic dream will happen instead. I will nearly dismiss that dream, feeling its message is pretty obvious or oppositely that it is just further supporting the theory that dreams are random firings. Then I will encounter a problem and realize my dream was guidance for that issue that was no where in my awareness yet. My dreams are helping me solve problems I don't even have yet.

Jul 12, 2013

Red Grid Marks Case Report #3 - My Case, Jennifer

See Investigations Page for a complete list of posts related to the Red Grid Marks phenomenon on this blog, including the two other testimonials of people around the world who have experienced these marks.

My interest in this phenomenon came from personal experience. I awoke from a nap November 27th, 2012, drenched in sweat, which prompted me to take a shower. As I stepped into the stream, and rose my hands to wash my face, I noticed on the heels of both my palms were 2" x 2" inch plus signs of freckle-like red dots. The red dots were subdermal, not raised or indented, but equal level to the skin, and not circular, but honey-comb shaped. Nevertheless, they were arranged in a grid, with each dot equidistant apart. The slants went opposite directions between the two hands. I lined the marks up by bringing my hands together. They were a mirror image of each other that oddly brought my hands together in a praying manner to verify.

Jul 7, 2013

Decisions in Covert Ops

Am I a member of a secret program? Why on Earth would I dream of this, and how could I have put together the content into such an elaborate story as a dream experience? Operations so covert, not even the operatives remember or recognize the mission as having been real.

Night of July 6/7th 2013 - 
This dream is retold exactly how my thought processes were in sync to the dream experience. In other words, all the non-dialogue information is real-time observation and thought during the dream.

Jul 6, 2013

Red Grid Marks Investigation Update - Compiling a Personality Profile of Targeted Individuals

[Previously published on 7/6/13, updated 5/9/14]

Red Grid Marks Case Report #2: 'Antal'

The following is a series of emails from a reader who came across my post on the Red Grid Marks phenomenon. To honor requests for anonymity, I assigned him the codename Antal. Minor editions have been made.

Jun 28, 2013

Loving Thyself

One of my skills is being a companion and loving those I am soul-bounded to. Challenge to see myself as the higher beautiful and compassionate partner that I am, how my previous lovers from lifetimes ago saw me and continue to enjoy my company at times. The kind of pure love I've yearned to remember all this life is real somehow. With the spirit of my love we only show appreciation for who each other is and respect for what each other is doing. Our aura is merged, so we know what the other is feeling. In the physical expression process we move perfectly insync to one another's desires, that being always foremost to just be matching wavelengths to an eruption of pleasure. Pace, position, are all communicated as energy dialogue, instantaneous, without words, just a smooth exchange. Sex is a model and expression of that merging of consciousness.

Jun 26, 2013

Lost Love

No dream confirmation or response using the new content and perspective I explored yesterday about my deep water phobia. I was so sure I would have something about deep sea diving and discovery or swimming with seals. The only reason I felt it wouldn't be that is because that research for desensitizing me was earlier in the day. Before bed I was incredibly engaged in watching Project Camelot interviews with Erin "Rothschild" and the two assassins with the 4th Reich. I don't know much about the Illuminati, or the Cabal, frankly I think I've needed to establish my center before digging too deep into their history. It's shrouded in so much rumor and heresay that I preferred to do mythological research and dream investigation which would provide a clearer baseline for understanding.

Jun 25, 2013

Lego Land on Water

Summary: Correlation between my state of mind before bed and subsequent dream; lego houses and boat on lego platforms floating on sea of water; perspective shifts between in-game avatar and larger self; protection from lurking evil presence; collecting treasures and assembling a garden as a side quest, how these motivations help me resist fear; further meaning of recurring water theme and ignored lifelong fear.

Jun 24, 2013

Red Grid Marks Phenomenon - Case Study #1, Part 3 and Learning to Dream

Continued from Testimonial #1 Part 1 and Part 2

Questions remaining that may prove essential to understanding this phenomenon

Why 'Michael's back, why the butts of my palms, why the top of the hand in my Case 2 study? Does the location and shape of the marks represent something about the individual? Why a triangle, why a honeycomb, why a circle? Why are certain shapes appearing on certain people and not the same shape? Why was there pain and aching associated with mine but not with others?

Red Marks Cases - "Michael" Testimonial #1, Part 2 with Latest Theory

Summary: psychological factors; abduction dreams; similarity between us in UFO dreams; family history of abduction; trouble in bringing self and outside world to acknowledge the real effects these experiences have on the individual's sense of safety and control over their own consciousness; empowering the mind to regain control as a participant thru fair dialogue, if not purge itself of the negative source; marks as clues to our ability to manifest physical effect?

"I flared up, felt angry and resistant at this intrusion. I had the sense that the entity was showing me that nothing much had changed. Almost like they had a handle on my primal emotions or I didn't have control."
- alias 'Michael' on his attempt to reclaim control over his sleeping consciousness

The following is continuing email interview with "Michael" dated May 20, 2013:
(Continued from Part 1)

Jun 21, 2013

Entity Exchange Program Visualization

Summary: Illusion in the sky; Disclosure conference with ET guests; Call to citizens who've been studying interfacing to help; Reunion with my mentor in different form; How would we prefer disclosure?; my brainstorm of a preferred transition for public to acknowledge, accept or deny, and possibly integrate and exchange with entities from other worlds, times, and dimensions.

Jun 18, 2013

Fluctuating Star Update with Video, Part 1

Originally published 6/18/13

Finally just bothered the activities coordinator for the Science Works Museum about borrowing a telescope. He invited me to a star party later that week where local astronomers, science teachers, students, and interested star gazers come out to share their telescopes or use the museum provided ones and explore the sky.

I had a particular goal in mind, and with less than a half hour (arrived late) to figure it out in, I pestered anyone I could to show me or identify the star cycling through colors like the Berlin Star was repeatedly videotaped as. That person used an electric camcorder and auto-zoom feature that my skeptical astronomer friend from Science Works, during our private star gazing session, suggested may have caused the effect. In general the scientific astronomers there were quick to explain away why the star does this color shifting. The explanations I got were that the atmosphere is boiling and is distorting the light in that way, and that this happens on the horizon because the gases and heat rising off the Earth interfere with the penetration of light from space through our atmosphere at the horizon. True stars may twinkle more when on the horizon, but this is not twinkling and it's not the only star doing it. There were others high in that large sky I saw that night, that fluctuated like my main one. When I asked why those do it then, they said again it was atmospheric distortion, though countless ones nearby did not distort in that way of the same size.

My star is Capella, which in latin means 'to accompany'. Strange coincidence for me since my book is on imaginary companionship and my channeling experience recently revealed my lifelong imaginary friend to be an expression of the Greek god Eros. I have worked in my own private business as a counseling companion, and I personally consider myself to be polyamorous because I find joy in connection with many types of people (though I am currently in a committed relationship with a male, the father of my child). Companionship has just always been an area of exploration for me. As well, it is the root of the choral term a-cappella which is when you sing or perform without accompaniment. Choir also being a recurring theme in my dreams makes me wonder even more if there is a connection there. Am I going to Capella in my dreaming?

Capella set very early, and is one of the six brightest stars in my sky. There were also two twin stars to its right in the constellation Gemini (my sign) that also fluctuated and at a higher distance in the sky, but not as brightly.

My location for perspective was 43.716667 latitude, 10.38333 longitude, at approximately 10:30pm at night on June 8th 2013.

I peered at Capella through three or four telescopes, but still didn't have the magnification I wanted to match the electronic camcorder used to tape the Berlin star. I did manage to record digitally with a smart phone through the eye piece of one glass lens telescope though. The shaking is from me trying to hold the camera in place so the little lens is at the right angle against the eye piece of the telescope. Very tricky. Still, you can see the NATURALLY occurring fluctuations of color that are not an effect of auto zooming from an electronic camcorder, as was suggested to me as an explanation for how the Berlin guy caught such a beautiful display.

Next on the agenda is to somehow gain access to a more powerful telescope to see Capella, or perhaps another fluctuating star higher in the sky (to rule out twinkling effect of the horizon skepticism). There are a couple large telescopes in my state, but maybe too powerful. I don't even know what magnification I need.

Before, I was asking myself "If this is an amazing thing, how is it possible no one else has noticed?" The answer is that astronomers have automatically dismissed this fluctuation as a natural phenomenon. Perhaps even it is that portals between stars are naturally occurring, but no one has yet considered that it might be something other than a trick of light bending in the atmosphere (a hypothesis which doesn't add up because certain stars are doing this behavior, including ones at all different degrees around the sky, with no apparent relationship between the effect and size or type of star (since Antares, a red giant also seems to do this fluctuation).

The wild hypothesis, if what the electronic camera's are showing is an accurate representation of these stars, is they are travel links to those stars, so the wormhole is in direct line of sight of the star. 

Remote Viewing Reptilians

During the star party, I briefly interviewed an amateur astronomer by the name Zander, also in attendance at the star party who described to me a vivid dream that has stuck out at him. He saw 7-8 ft tall greenish Reptilian beings looking at computer hardware in an underground cavern. They noticed he was watching them and moved toward him. He decided against engaging with them in anyway. He felt discomfort about their intentions toward him, not necessarily that they would hurt him, but he didn't care to find out.

Power of Imagination, and The Ultimate Unknown

Summary: Week's worth of dreams -  
Water/snow theme needing more investigation even after channeling discovery of it representing "same gene pool"; dark force mist invading my town and a test in the creative power of belief and imagination; thrift store theme, now toy store and a lead toward next Level up in spiritual abilities; stretching space and thick area effect like a black hole (portal?). 

Jun 11, 2013

Facing the Fear of Rejection

Series of recreations with people from my life. These were not memories, and actually now that I think about it, my dreams are rarely ever replaying memories, they are usually recreations and slight alterations added. Otherwise, my dreams are purely new stories using some elements of my life experiences, sometimes not.

Jun 9, 2013

Accepting My Skills and Favors

Summary: Standing out in new choir; New hire at primate facility; Motherly to a chimp toddler; Ethical dilemma on caging animals leads to a recognizably self-generated scene of helping release a pregnant gorilla; Distinction made between dream content and sequence assembled by outside design and those imaginings of my creation; Acknowledging the degree of my skills and allowing for the gifts granted to me by my hard work; Gift from my distant sister and the guilt of receiving rewards being viewed as freebees or good luck by my struggling family.

Jun 7, 2013

Level Up! : The Experience of Channeling Contact

I did it! I had my first waking channeling. I've been trying to research the process and how it feels, all the little details people who don't know how to want to know and met resistance from one source I tried to draw it from, and haven't been hearing back from the other (both are human channels who do it for a living). Weeks and weeks I've been waiting and wondering if I could do it and what the presences I keep calling are trying to say but I can't seem to establish the link.

Jun 3, 2013

Red, red, red

I have been depicted as 'the girl in red' in recent dreams. Well, the following is a dream from last December with a woman in red and red-skinned beings. 

Night of Dec. 7/8th 2012

Wandering about a junkyard. There are buried tables under sand that are still useable and look new. Furniture on display. I am outside but darkness around the area until treeline, and sky is at sunset. No overgrowth, just sand and dirt and flatness. Link is playing on a toddler push car. I call out re-directions once a while to him. (Second-hand furniture lot? Makeshift goods lot after a disaster?).

I lose track of him, my son, while looking around at items. Panic. Searching, calling for him. I erupt into an opening where I can see the sky. Link is unconscious AND (somehow) awed at the sight in the sky. I gather him up. A human shape and a cow in a light beam are suspended high in the air above the trees. 'An alien abduction! I'm witnessing one!' I think to myself. Two hand lengths to the right in the sky is another figure from the torso up waving at me. I say aloud "It's waving at me!"

My perception zooms toward the being and now I am on a ship with him. I immediately voice my first concern "Did you do something to my son?" I ask accusingly. It pauses and simply shakes its head. "Oh." I said, knowing it was being truthful. My mistrust was on display. I quickly changed my attention to the fact I was on a ship with this human-like creature. They were tall in simple robed dress. Large heads. Same facial features and appearance as humans, but head where brain juts out is double the size, close to the elongated craniums from archaeological records, but not quite as long. No hair, skin tone is reddish in color, and more veins visible subdermally (not bulging). Skin looks the color of a flushed caucasian, but all over and natural state. These are either our ancestors/galactic roots, or future humans. They look like what an older human might look like if we didn't age, whither and die, but kept growing. Taller, bigger brain, more veins, still smooth texture. Everything else physically the same.

I am seated by an older woman who is wrinkly. She says "You don't remember me do you? I am Jen, the woman you saw at the party collapse. I had to come back here." "But you were younger, a beautiful blonde in a red dress (which she still was, just older now suddenly)?" I was stunned and excited seeing these pieces of research and rumor come together in this vision. At some point I had been in a different time line seeing through her eyes, trying to effect some change at a party before collapsing to the floor and people all around me/her. Funny that her name is a variation of mine.

More individuals were coming aboard. The Elders (as I have called the red-skinned talls) were organized, silent mostly, telepathic perhaps, coordinating so many people and things. I respected their calm, yet deliberate actions.

I sat near a door to a small room at one wall of the craft on a bench with a human male. We discussed what the rooms might be, agreeing on time traveling units. An elder opened the curtain in front of us to let a little blonde girl sit by us and told us to explain to her what's going on. The girl stared at me expressionless, innocent white face with doll like short blondish hair. I know her. I've seen her before. How do I know her? "Shouldn't we explain what's going on?" I asked my chatty male companion. She was the same girl I talked to in another dream, the only one who received my message when I veiled myself. Why is she significant to my dreaming? Who is she? My unknown daughter? She's maybe 8 years old.

He explains briefly to her about time machines and the Elders as best as we know. I say it's going to be okay, that others went in and came out better than before so it must be safe.

We each went into one of our own rooms. Doors closed. Room began to shake violently. Put my head between my knees. There was a time paradox here. I went and did other things but know I came back, like a dream within a dream, just not sure if this was perceived immediately or after the events.

Our doors opened and we were all covered in gold dust sparkling on their heads and shoulders like it fell on us like rain, and we all shared the feelings of awe and joy. There were many of us I could see through the walls of our rooms like the walls and ceiling of the ship became transparent and looked out into space. Were we linked to one another now? Were our abilities awakened? Were we returning in unison from a time travel episode?

Next, or preceding scene, I am in a car on a grassy hill with Jim (my spouse/partner) overlooking Erin and Michelle (old friends I fell out of) entering onto a field and into a transparent gateway or cloaked ship with their kids and spouses (they have kids and spouses?). I wanted to say helo but couldn't decide to bring Jim or not. Didn't feel it fair to exclude him, but figured they'd respond better if he weren't joining me. Should I bring Link or leave him with Jim too? I couldn't decide and thus couldn't seem to will myself to get out of the care before they disappeared into the field.

I ran after them only to find some of their abandoned stuff in a room (not sure spatially where I am). I am fixated on Michelle's stuff, a few books and diary on a white desk. White everywhere. Transparent walls with cloudiness, like the light is emanating from the wall material itself, but brightest around edges. One book in particular has a cover that shows images of the classic devil icon (red skin, horns). The title is referring to how the concept of the devil has been connected to all things fun and misrepresented as sinful, like in sex jokes; how the devil has become a symbol of humorous fun at the expense of moral seriousness. Lies perpetuated by false ideas of good and evil.

My understanding is good is all about happiness, passion, enjoyment, paired with other attributes of graciousness, consideration of others. The book was written with a comedic tone by the author whom the dream was branding a son of Satan. I wanted to open and read a bit of it because at this time I was struggling with how religious perception of good and evil may be corrupted. Everything available to us like sex and alcohol are neutral, how we misuse them is what determines their connotation, and how we restrict others to partake of them when it clashes with the personal exploratory desire to. I've wondered because Lucifer was supposedly a beautiful being, how the ugly, scary image came to be associated to him, and could that have been a deliberate manipulation to instill fear in us for this kind of creature. I was being held back from reading it thoroughly, though I wanted to. I have seen this book in my dreams before. It was important enough to repeat.

Next, or preceding scene, I am with a band of three other military type individuals as a unit on a battlefield. Two warring factions of large, animal shaped animated machines are closing fast on our position [I dislike war, why do I keep seeing myself involved in it]. Think mech techs from video gaming that resemble different animals but animated with souls. Their eyes and mouths glowed with anger and consciousness.

My unit was trying to disable them by hacking into two fallen animal mechs, one from each opposing side. They were a threat toward us humans too, some spotted us and charged us so they could have the satisfaction of fighting their war. Such bitterness and hate. Side of mammals had been wronged by the other side of dragon-like. My unit's mission was to stop the fighting, regardless who was right or who wanted revenge. Humanity was endangered by their bitter war.

I could coordinate my group's activities based on their skills from a holographic interface that appears over my vision like a video game menu, but it does not pause the action when I bring it up, so I must make choices quickly. I hoped to catch my breath by bringing it up, overwhelmed with anxiety about the situation.

We rigged one fallen mech. As were heading to the other, the charging fleet of mechs on one side steered toward us to intercept. We were surrounded. We posed a greater threat to them than each other did. Both sides diverted their attack to keep us from deanimating them.

Today, June 3rd 2013

My sister has recently divulged to me how she has always visualized the imaginary being I call Darian when we were young. She saw him with a red aura. This struck me as crazily coincidental. My image of him derived from the place I got his name: that show Sailor Moon we loved as kids. How is it she saw such a drastically different being, though I shared my own description on many occasions. She said whenever I talked about him, she saw a red colored being that loved me with a father's love. I asked her to describe him more in detail:

-almost reptilian in that head has layer of scales upon scales, maybe more like a Klingon's ridges from Star Trek
-bat-like ears
-tribal markings
-pale red or dark red aura or skin tone depending on my mood
-protrusions like extended bones at shoulders, elbows, and head.

"Katie" I said "Do you mean to tell me you saw the Devil following me?"

"Well I wasn't sure how you would react to what I envisioned, but really I was upset for you how the image of the your Darian as that creature was misrepresented by people to be evil."

"But why red?" The color only has evil connotations in the religious community, though blood is red.

"What else is red?" She replied. She used to despise the color too because it was too bright and bold. It says alert, stand out, notice this, though she preferred the comfort of hiding, since she is a shy and unsure soul. In her research though, she found from Chinese myth that red warded off evil entities when children would be taken away, they wore red to protect themselves. Dragons became red in New Year celebrations because of its symbolic nature as protection from evil. Egyptians had a red stone accepted by people who were dying to indicate a calm readiness of their approaching death. It showed humble yielding to the cycle of life and death.

I had always wondered why I never saw Darian in my dreams, though the name Darian was just what I gave him, the imaginary presence of a loving, mysterious companion I could call on whenever I needed for whatever I needed. Even now, I hesitate about the symbolism. The human form I gave him was never quite right. I usually assigned him as a hybrid of three forms: part human, part dragon, part vampire. Very girlish, I didn't think much of it. But reptiles and dragons are in my dreams, vampires are in my dreams, even a three-form demon joined my party at one point with a human form, pale blue form with the same protrusions as my sister's description, and a red one I couldn't picture. The blue one felt more threatening than the other two though. Odd that the blue color would be the threatening one. My mind wanders on about how complexly I may have been manipulated, because I am more inclined to connect and trust a being of this type than I am a beautiful angelic form. At least the beast isn't trying to be deceptive by showing himself though others will fear and threaten him this way.

Why does it have to be a devil form? I couldn't open the book because I wasn't prepared (and still am nervous to) for the truth of my guide? His race may have been targeted to appear Yet I would more easily embrace him this way, than Jesus in his etheral body, as blasphemous as it is to say that. Perhaps even its clever reverse, reverse psychology. Frankly I don't know and I won't commit either way still, but Darian looking like a devil is not far from how he usually is represented in my role play exercises, at least as a dragon who is feared and hides in human form to not hurt humans by forcing them to confront something they will jump to preconceived notions and inherent fears about.

Neutrality. I am meant to protect, but not in war, not by hate-bashing another side, despite how corrupt or evil they are. Love is not a war, peace is not a war, unity is not war. Perhaps now I am ready to finally see the true forms of my guides?