Jun 3, 2013

Red, red, red

I have been depicted as 'the girl in red' in recent dreams. Well, the following is a dream from last December with a woman in red and red-skinned beings. 

Night of Dec. 7/8th 2012

Wandering about a junkyard. There are buried tables under sand that are still useable and look new. Furniture on display. I am outside but darkness around the area until treeline, and sky is at sunset. No overgrowth, just sand and dirt and flatness. Link is playing on a toddler push car. I call out re-directions once a while to him. (Second-hand furniture lot? Makeshift goods lot after a disaster?).

I lose track of him, my son, while looking around at items. Panic. Searching, calling for him. I erupt into an opening where I can see the sky. Link is unconscious AND (somehow) awed at the sight in the sky. I gather him up. A human shape and a cow in a light beam are suspended high in the air above the trees. 'An alien abduction! I'm witnessing one!' I think to myself. Two hand lengths to the right in the sky is another figure from the torso up waving at me. I say aloud "It's waving at me!"

My perception zooms toward the being and now I am on a ship with him. I immediately voice my first concern "Did you do something to my son?" I ask accusingly. It pauses and simply shakes its head. "Oh." I said, knowing it was being truthful. My mistrust was on display. I quickly changed my attention to the fact I was on a ship with this human-like creature. They were tall in simple robed dress. Large heads. Same facial features and appearance as humans, but head where brain juts out is double the size, close to the elongated craniums from archaeological records, but not quite as long. No hair, skin tone is reddish in color, and more veins visible subdermally (not bulging). Skin looks the color of a flushed caucasian, but all over and natural state. These are either our ancestors/galactic roots, or future humans. They look like what an older human might look like if we didn't age, whither and die, but kept growing. Taller, bigger brain, more veins, still smooth texture. Everything else physically the same.

I am seated by an older woman who is wrinkly. She says "You don't remember me do you? I am Jen, the woman you saw at the party collapse. I had to come back here." "But you were younger, a beautiful blonde in a red dress (which she still was, just older now suddenly)?" I was stunned and excited seeing these pieces of research and rumor come together in this vision. At some point I had been in a different time line seeing through her eyes, trying to effect some change at a party before collapsing to the floor and people all around me/her. Funny that her name is a variation of mine.

More individuals were coming aboard. The Elders (as I have called the red-skinned talls) were organized, silent mostly, telepathic perhaps, coordinating so many people and things. I respected their calm, yet deliberate actions.

I sat near a door to a small room at one wall of the craft on a bench with a human male. We discussed what the rooms might be, agreeing on time traveling units. An elder opened the curtain in front of us to let a little blonde girl sit by us and told us to explain to her what's going on. The girl stared at me expressionless, innocent white face with doll like short blondish hair. I know her. I've seen her before. How do I know her? "Shouldn't we explain what's going on?" I asked my chatty male companion. She was the same girl I talked to in another dream, the only one who received my message when I veiled myself. Why is she significant to my dreaming? Who is she? My unknown daughter? She's maybe 8 years old.

He explains briefly to her about time machines and the Elders as best as we know. I say it's going to be okay, that others went in and came out better than before so it must be safe.

We each went into one of our own rooms. Doors closed. Room began to shake violently. Put my head between my knees. There was a time paradox here. I went and did other things but know I came back, like a dream within a dream, just not sure if this was perceived immediately or after the events.

Our doors opened and we were all covered in gold dust sparkling on their heads and shoulders like it fell on us like rain, and we all shared the feelings of awe and joy. There were many of us I could see through the walls of our rooms like the walls and ceiling of the ship became transparent and looked out into space. Were we linked to one another now? Were our abilities awakened? Were we returning in unison from a time travel episode?

Next, or preceding scene, I am in a car on a grassy hill with Jim (my spouse/partner) overlooking Erin and Michelle (old friends I fell out of) entering onto a field and into a transparent gateway or cloaked ship with their kids and spouses (they have kids and spouses?). I wanted to say helo but couldn't decide to bring Jim or not. Didn't feel it fair to exclude him, but figured they'd respond better if he weren't joining me. Should I bring Link or leave him with Jim too? I couldn't decide and thus couldn't seem to will myself to get out of the care before they disappeared into the field.

I ran after them only to find some of their abandoned stuff in a room (not sure spatially where I am). I am fixated on Michelle's stuff, a few books and diary on a white desk. White everywhere. Transparent walls with cloudiness, like the light is emanating from the wall material itself, but brightest around edges. One book in particular has a cover that shows images of the classic devil icon (red skin, horns). The title is referring to how the concept of the devil has been connected to all things fun and misrepresented as sinful, like in sex jokes; how the devil has become a symbol of humorous fun at the expense of moral seriousness. Lies perpetuated by false ideas of good and evil.

My understanding is good is all about happiness, passion, enjoyment, paired with other attributes of graciousness, consideration of others. The book was written with a comedic tone by the author whom the dream was branding a son of Satan. I wanted to open and read a bit of it because at this time I was struggling with how religious perception of good and evil may be corrupted. Everything available to us like sex and alcohol are neutral, how we misuse them is what determines their connotation, and how we restrict others to partake of them when it clashes with the personal exploratory desire to. I've wondered because Lucifer was supposedly a beautiful being, how the ugly, scary image came to be associated to him, and could that have been a deliberate manipulation to instill fear in us for this kind of creature. I was being held back from reading it thoroughly, though I wanted to. I have seen this book in my dreams before. It was important enough to repeat.

Next, or preceding scene, I am with a band of three other military type individuals as a unit on a battlefield. Two warring factions of large, animal shaped animated machines are closing fast on our position [I dislike war, why do I keep seeing myself involved in it]. Think mech techs from video gaming that resemble different animals but animated with souls. Their eyes and mouths glowed with anger and consciousness.

My unit was trying to disable them by hacking into two fallen animal mechs, one from each opposing side. They were a threat toward us humans too, some spotted us and charged us so they could have the satisfaction of fighting their war. Such bitterness and hate. Side of mammals had been wronged by the other side of dragon-like. My unit's mission was to stop the fighting, regardless who was right or who wanted revenge. Humanity was endangered by their bitter war.

I could coordinate my group's activities based on their skills from a holographic interface that appears over my vision like a video game menu, but it does not pause the action when I bring it up, so I must make choices quickly. I hoped to catch my breath by bringing it up, overwhelmed with anxiety about the situation.

We rigged one fallen mech. As were heading to the other, the charging fleet of mechs on one side steered toward us to intercept. We were surrounded. We posed a greater threat to them than each other did. Both sides diverted their attack to keep us from deanimating them.

Today, June 3rd 2013

My sister has recently divulged to me how she has always visualized the imaginary being I call Darian when we were young. She saw him with a red aura. This struck me as crazily coincidental. My image of him derived from the place I got his name: that show Sailor Moon we loved as kids. How is it she saw such a drastically different being, though I shared my own description on many occasions. She said whenever I talked about him, she saw a red colored being that loved me with a father's love. I asked her to describe him more in detail:

-almost reptilian in that head has layer of scales upon scales, maybe more like a Klingon's ridges from Star Trek
-bat-like ears
-tribal markings
-pale red or dark red aura or skin tone depending on my mood
-protrusions like extended bones at shoulders, elbows, and head.

"Katie" I said "Do you mean to tell me you saw the Devil following me?"

"Well I wasn't sure how you would react to what I envisioned, but really I was upset for you how the image of the your Darian as that creature was misrepresented by people to be evil."

"But why red?" The color only has evil connotations in the religious community, though blood is red.

"What else is red?" She replied. She used to despise the color too because it was too bright and bold. It says alert, stand out, notice this, though she preferred the comfort of hiding, since she is a shy and unsure soul. In her research though, she found from Chinese myth that red warded off evil entities when children would be taken away, they wore red to protect themselves. Dragons became red in New Year celebrations because of its symbolic nature as protection from evil. Egyptians had a red stone accepted by people who were dying to indicate a calm readiness of their approaching death. It showed humble yielding to the cycle of life and death.

I had always wondered why I never saw Darian in my dreams, though the name Darian was just what I gave him, the imaginary presence of a loving, mysterious companion I could call on whenever I needed for whatever I needed. Even now, I hesitate about the symbolism. The human form I gave him was never quite right. I usually assigned him as a hybrid of three forms: part human, part dragon, part vampire. Very girlish, I didn't think much of it. But reptiles and dragons are in my dreams, vampires are in my dreams, even a three-form demon joined my party at one point with a human form, pale blue form with the same protrusions as my sister's description, and a red one I couldn't picture. The blue one felt more threatening than the other two though. Odd that the blue color would be the threatening one. My mind wanders on about how complexly I may have been manipulated, because I am more inclined to connect and trust a being of this type than I am a beautiful angelic form. At least the beast isn't trying to be deceptive by showing himself though others will fear and threaten him this way.

Why does it have to be a devil form? I couldn't open the book because I wasn't prepared (and still am nervous to) for the truth of my guide? His race may have been targeted to appear Yet I would more easily embrace him this way, than Jesus in his etheral body, as blasphemous as it is to say that. Perhaps even its clever reverse, reverse psychology. Frankly I don't know and I won't commit either way still, but Darian looking like a devil is not far from how he usually is represented in my role play exercises, at least as a dragon who is feared and hides in human form to not hurt humans by forcing them to confront something they will jump to preconceived notions and inherent fears about.

Neutrality. I am meant to protect, but not in war, not by hate-bashing another side, despite how corrupt or evil they are. Love is not a war, peace is not a war, unity is not war. Perhaps now I am ready to finally see the true forms of my guides?

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