Welcoming a New Investigative Agent!

Prompted by a string of comments by people with their own Red Grid Marks, I have decided to bring aboard a partner to help me handle the caseload. Previously known as 'Michael' from my first case, Jordon has followed my work and become a valuable asset in dream experiments. Together, we are exploring the capabilities of spirit communication via dream signaling, contact, calling, and downloading (where we receive information about the other person). We've managed to transmit and receive cold calls from each other. Jordon will meditate on wanting to contact me before going to sleep, then check a day or two later if I received anything. I will channel information for him about his personal life, and report my readings.

Jordon came to me originally about the red grid that appeared on his back. He ended up trusting me with a secret that plagued his nights. A malevolent presence would invade his psychological space to rape, abuse, and absorb the energy of him feeling a lack of control. After a thorough background and history, and failed attempts to fight the presence, Jordon found success in unleashing his doubt to the possibility of astral flight. He found himself escaping the control of this being by conquering his fear and learning to levitate of his own accord.


We worked to generate a faith in something safe and loving that could aid him. His personal work was paying off. On one occasion where he again rose himself away from the beings imminent presence, Jordon saw the sky open up above him as if he had opened the map to the universe. A star shined and he believed it was my light standing out (April 20th, 2014 Dream; Interview April 24th).

Now, I have invited him to join me by following up on cases with me as an investigator. This is his coming out to embrace a mission we believe he could play a significant role for approaching changes in.

Welcome to the Team, Jordon!

Alternate Realities

Having dreams featuring people in my life are fairly common, as they are for any dreamer. But then having a subsequent dream with a similar message the following night without people from my life really feels like its rephrasing the message for emphasis so I'll pay attention. Otherwise, I wasn't going to report the dream two nights ago. I meditated about another few pressing topics, and yet my dreaming had other plans. Occurrences like these really suggest to me that I'm in conversation with some other force not confined to my consciousness. When I try to prompt a dream before bed, interfacing with the invisible presence I believe to be my personal link (depicted in essence as my investigative partner in other dreams who exists omnipresently, capable of seeing the intricacies of happenings and motivations interconnected around me at once from a 'higher' vantage point) is the easiest way to sort out details and land on the right question to ask that accurately represents what I want to know. You see, the challenge of call-response dreaming is projecting the right desire to know something. It seems if I ask something not entirely accurate to what I need to know, the response will seem confusing or off-topic. In some of these instances where the dream didn't seem to relate to the topics of consideration I tried to prompt that night with, I have to assume its either because some other signal was stronger, or it is in answer to the question but as background prerequisite ideas before I can understand the true answer to my question. I have learned to accept that some truths are difficult to swallow, comprehend with our limited range of perception and experience, and even dangerous. We're still fishing around in the dark, trying to shine light to reveal the truth. Humans seek truth in a variety of ways. I'm particularly curious as to what extent dreaming is an outlet for unveiling truths. What is available in dreaming? Presumably anything, but there are barriers to overcome, obstacles both from internal sources and from other consciousnesses. And the dream scape is still a reflection of the physical realm. So information readily available to public knowledge is easy for me to channel, information protected by a small group is more difficult, but I might be able to see that a small group is hiding the information I seek or is manipulating the knowledge I seek. Most of the time though, I'm in my own way to learning things I wish to know. I have to put forth a deliberate effort in real life for that energy of investigation to code into the dreamscape.

I don't know what prompted this first dream of the two about alternate realities. Maybe it will be revealed to me as I write it out (often what happens:  the truth is in the details somehow, or by immersing in the scene where the coding lay).

Underwater Base

During my hiatus these last weeks, I've been contemplating how to characterize the kind of dreaming I do. Remote reviewers are not sleeping when they see, and I do not see with the same clarity when awake. I enjoy actually that I can relax, fall to sleep, and receive information and images while I'm recharging. It's like a double whammy. So, then what do I call what I do? There are aspects of channeling, there are aspects of remote viewing, and forecasting, and astral projection even. A better question really is how is it happening? I mulled over this question last night hoping once again to inspire a metaphorical response using imagery and scenario, as my dreams do. Based on some things Jim Mars said in an interview podcast with Linda Howe, I wondered if I am interacting with electromagnetic fields. Would that explain how I saw that storm that hit Spokane a couple years ago while I was camping. Something told me to take my caravan on a different route, I thought because it would be more fun than to go home to Portland the way we came (going west). Instead I turned south at the last minute, festered all night long because something had me on edge (to the point I spooked my younger sister and forced myself to hide the feeling so she would not erupt in an anxiety attack). I dreamed simply of a storm in the sky, heavy gray, rumbling clouds. I hoped to dream about my grandfather because the campground we stayed at was home of a great story my dad told me about. I never knew my grandfather so this was my greatest chance in a lifetime to catch a link to him.

Dialogue with Dream Programming

The mind is a receiver, tuning to a station is simply a matter of thought. Ideas, desires, emotions all have charge that attract information. Although I cannot anticipate what I will dream about or why ideas I had thought about recently formed the story of images they did to depict themselves, I have managed to have an increased awareness and bleed through of my waking personality and thought processes during dreaming. I'm able to question the choices of the dream's programming while in the dream as my avatar self.

Dream Night of Nov. 28/29th 2013

Alone in a house that is mine. A group that lives on the outside, moving town to town, is in my area. Their leader is a man I'm trying to avoid. He likes to torment me by invading my home, show little regard for its cleanliness, and indulge himself sexually in our tense attraction. I try to keep him out, not wanting to succumb to him. He comes in uninvited, using my place as a rest stop for his group.

Knowing came around that he was in the area again. I lock up my doors and windows and gates. As I'm setting the last gate, I see him through a crack in the wood panels. He pushes it open, and I relent. He knows I'm here now and I can't stop him from coming in. My effort to keep him out offended him. I was upfront explaining why I didn't want him here, that he disrespects my home, and tempts me away from my partner. "I love my family, I need to protect us." I say to him. He takes one look into my house and sees the baby gear everywhere. His mood changes. He becomes reserved and insists he'll leave us alone.

What a shock. That's unlike him. Why would he be so willing to ignore another chance to abuse his power over me? He leaves through the gate, showing me a glance of a beautiful dark-haired woman lain on a bed in a white dress in the initial throws of labor. I push the gate open with sparked interest. He has a pregnant woman in his band this time around, either one of his or someone he picked up. I walk directly to her with a strength of conviction. Someone in the group points me out to the leader. He looks up in surprise and displeasure. "Wait, no. What are you doing? I don't want your help." He says to me. I don't listen, I go to the woman who hasn't quite started the birthing process, but will soon. "She needs someone who knows about birth, which none of you do. I have the right setup for her with all the baby stuff already. There is no where better for her to be." I direct them to take her in.

Spirit Walking

It's late, already 7pm and the sun is down, but only now is my family ready to go on a day trip to the mountain. I'm emotionally desperate to revel in nature that I don't care how late it is. My father expects we will just sleep in the vehicle when we arrive since it's so late already, but it won't hold us. A small train with two cars pulls up and the whole side of one car strips back to allow us entrance. The inside is divided into compartments. My dad says we are each receiving assigned roles and titles. I can sense the unattached frustration in his manner. [The dream a few days ago featuring him cleaning the debris and junk out of the yard showed him with the same attitude. I have not seen my dad in over 6 months. But I suspect he is reaching a turning point in the state of his life with regard to the conditions of his home and the lack of motivation and forward movement by the household.] This was a suggestion I made to him in email about how to lead by assigning titles and clear roles that utilize their skills, so the focus is on contribution to the whole and feeling valuable. He assigns us with letters, though, not something I recommended or was familiar with. I am assigned "A" to mean second in command, assistant to the leader. My sisters each get a letter following that. Then, my partner, he calls him Mulder from X-Files (haven't even gone through 2 seasons of the show, but the concept of two partners like Scully and Mulder have been included in my dreams before to depict that kind of investigative relationship), gets the same 'A' assignment. I am relieved, because he was sitting in the end compartment and would seem to get the last letter. But my father recognized his usefulness and his importance as my teammate.

Along our train ride, trouble strikes. A highly trained thief and assassin had stowed aboard. She is dressed in a red chinese kimono dress with very short sleeves. Her hair is black and pulled back with a stick. Lips that classic red that covers only the immediate center to look like she is puckering all the time, and powdered white face. Long dangly earrings.

Reunited

The following events happen in sequence as I move from one area to another for different reasons. Without bogging my memory down with the order, I will simply lay out every scene and interaction I can recall.

Night of August 12/13 2013

Enclosed colony used as venue for spirit family reunion. Tenants are organized into a women's wing of dormitories and a male's wing. In kitchen spaces with foods brought from home or immediately from the store, some middle aged women are organizing and moving in and out of.

Waiting for Chris, Shantey, and Otus (the adopted family that grew up with mine) to arrive. Excited they could come. I haven't seen Chris and Shantey in so long, and I've long wanted to build a more intimate relationship with Chris. He served a tour of duty overseas and its changed him, made him anxious to settle down and enjoy quality company of someone he loves, which he already has trouble handing out. I've been a preference for him, especially since returning. The years since our childhood have matured us, but not quite far enough it seems to return us to each other. Fate always has seemed to have a plan against us. Whenever one of is available, the other is in a dedicated relationship. I finally claimed more choice in our fate by, at least in my imagination, allowing the possibility of loving two men simultaneously:  my current partner and father of my child, and my childhood sweetheart. We aren't financially ready nor emotionally prepared for this sort of trial and commitment, but it helps me to have it as a solution to the conundrum it's tortured me with for so long.

Writer's Block: Fear

With how difficult it has been to power through my hesitations and hang ups toward completing the last few sections of my book and seriously searching for a publisher, I started to wonder if the lack of insight or motivation from my dreams regarding my work on the book should finally be acknowledged as a sign of either disapproval or irrelevance of my ideas. I know expanding the current framework of our understanding of imaginary beings and presences, and for the field of psychology, what constitutes as an imaginary companion is a worth while idea to put into the world. But I won't deny the appeal of its sellability and my hope to make my own money through my writing with the book. It is still a selfish thing. Really my concern is that I haven't executed the topic clear enough or interestingly enough. What if I can't defend/sell it to a publisher? What if not enough people buy it for me to even make a profit and begin a writing career? What if my other ideas are too far out there that no one will receive them? Am I delaying because I keep fearing that it will be a moot point soon if the veil falls (aka, humanity's ability to communicate with thought is restored and deceit can no longer pervade, as well as our ability to transcend back into free-movement through time and space on the )? Rather, our spiritual guardians finally land to help us clean up our mess! WHAT am I talking about? Even if that is to come soon, there will need to be a catalyst for it? Quite honestly, I am catastrophizing. I delay because I fear the Earth will enter into its next phase toward an ice age. Catastrophic weather will lay waste to America and Europe and those who survive will be so overwhelmed with just trying to survive the shift to foraging and escaping and mourning to be bothered with my little book.

My dedication to tracking and researching for my dreams should give me clue enough that maybe I would be happier working for a dream research institute? So I indulged in that thought into sleep.

The dream that night had other plans.

Virtual Reality's Impact

Do our actions in virtual reality, in playing pretend, have impact on our lives? When we shoot a person in an FPS, what is reinforced in the mind by that action? Despite paranoid assumption, studies are disproving the inclination of kids and teens to lean toward violence by playing violent video games. They may be offering an outlet for natural aggression. Anger, usually perceived as a negative emotion, has a place like any other, and has incredible power for change when directed properly. Wrestling for fun is an aggressive sport. It provides a means of releasing that energy in a somewhat controlled and productive manner. Is it instigating violence? These aggressive sports are a mode of learning. Coaches and parents can use these activities as the medium through which other valuable lessons are learned. Athletes can be the most disciplined, generous, quick to act and help, motivated individuals around with a deep sense of morality, if guided to be so.

Seeds of Change

 Summary: Challenging perception of reality; feeling outcast by failure to conform to imposed standards; symbolizing reform on popular notions of sex and intimacy and commitment; standing out despite my best efforts to hide; holding true to personal beliefs; encounter with visiting member of my own kind to remind me of my purpose and origin and that I am be looked out for with restrictions.

Morning of July 26th 2013

My partner, Jim, and I wake up (in the dream) to discover our son is somehow home early from daycare, and his family (distant and immediate relatives, spirit ancestors I didn't recognize) were arriving for an upcoming wedding. "Did you bring him home?" I ask Jim, who had come home early from work himself. "No." "Why is he home?" I find the journal his daycare provider and I use to write notes and daily progress about Link back and forth, a sort of check-in. She had wrote that she was taking an impromptu afternoon off because a girlfriend was in town and the girlfriend dropped the kids off at their homes. How irresponsible and impulsive, I thought! [My daycare provider would never do this?! How weird that this is the second dream using her person in a rather negative way. The dream coder just needed the shock that would provide, I know.] She should have told us and checked that we were even awake and ready to care for him.

Decisions in Covert Ops

Am I a member of a secret program? Why on Earth would I dream of this, and how could I have put together the content into such an elaborate story as a dream experience? Operations so covert, not even the operatives remember or recognize the mission as having been real.

Night of July 6/7th 2013 - 
This dream is retold exactly how my thought processes were in sync to the dream experience. In other words, all the non-dialogue information is real-time observation and thought during the dream.

Loving Thyself

One of my skills is being a companion and loving those I am soul-bounded to. Challenge to see myself as the higher beautiful and compassionate partner that I am, how my previous lovers from lifetimes ago saw me and continue to enjoy my company at times. The kind of pure love I've yearned to remember all this life is real somehow. With the spirit of my love we only show appreciation for who each other is and respect for what each other is doing. Our aura is merged, so we know what the other is feeling. In the physical expression process we move perfectly insync to one another's desires, that being always foremost to just be matching wavelengths to an eruption of pleasure. Pace, position, are all communicated as energy dialogue, instantaneous, without words, just a smooth exchange. Sex is a model and expression of that merging of consciousness.

Lost Love

No dream confirmation or response using the new content and perspective I explored yesterday about my deep water phobia. I was so sure I would have something about deep sea diving and discovery or swimming with seals. The only reason I felt it wouldn't be that is because that research for desensitizing me was earlier in the day. Before bed I was incredibly engaged in watching Project Camelot interviews with Erin "Rothschild" and the two assassins with the 4th Reich. I don't know much about the Illuminati, or the Cabal, frankly I think I've needed to establish my center before digging too deep into their history. It's shrouded in so much rumor and heresay that I preferred to do mythological research and dream investigation which would provide a clearer baseline for understanding.

Entity Exchange Program Visualization

Summary: Illusion in the sky; Disclosure conference with ET guests; Call to citizens who've been studying interfacing to help; Reunion with my mentor in different form; How would we prefer disclosure?; my brainstorm of a preferred transition for public to acknowledge, accept or deny, and possibly integrate and exchange with entities from other worlds, times, and dimensions.

Facing the Fear of Rejection

Series of recreations with people from my life. These were not memories, and actually now that I think about it, my dreams are rarely ever replaying memories, they are usually recreations and slight alterations added. Otherwise, my dreams are purely new stories using some elements of my life experiences, sometimes not.

The Girl in Red

An unfortunate turn of events happened with a source for my book, which has greatly upset me. I sobbed over the issue continuously. Writing a non-fiction is difficult, and painful to deal with when people I thought I could trust or have come to rely upon are so afraid of an idea, exposure, or attention that they ... Very sternly, two of my sources, one being my own sister, denied permission to include the stories about them in the book, neither of which were negative in representing them. If I am to attain approval from every source I use, this book will never be published. Really, though, this is what a publisher and editor is for. I should not concern myself with permissions just yet. I need to just get it done. Still, the source I lost connected me to a greater spiritual community whom I cannot help but feel outcast from now. My search for spiritual belonging stumbles yet again. 

Call and Response

Summary: Dream answers two clearly stated questions and adds the next step of training on a deeper one I always ask; Medical dreaming works only with request from person in question; wrestling with my polyamorous nature; being misunderstood while fighting for greater mission; bringing two sides together in harmony rather than ignoring one and leaving their sounds to overlap in cacophony (polyamory); rainbow pixels implant in crowd to generate holographic interfacing capability; crowd is granted the fan desired version of Lost' series finale (mysteries revealed and connections linked up).

Behind the Veil

Topics Summary: Clues about what goes on behind the veil of our everyday lives are everywhere; return of my vivid dreaming; why they were on hiatus; what the alien powers behind the scenes do; recent dream on bionic machines occupying and ruling humans; taking shelter at a library; food references pointing to how the soul refuels.

Gods

Night of March 18th/19th 2013

Summary: Encounter with god Eros; stay with foreign host family; masterfully use magic in play; shot in the hand; how positive attitude and joy in any situation is a miracle to behold by characters in my dreams (they are protective of it, they are drawn to it, they are amazed by it).

Power

Night of March 5/6th 2013

Dream: Two main scenes showing me first with my son then with my partner, Jim, in a joyful state of interacting with them. Scene is shades of gray, near void of real color, but my feeling of peace and love is unaffected. A brilliant light sparks between us as a beautiful manifestation of divine approval and power from our joy being together. With my son we were laughing and snuggling and I involved myself appreciatively in his play, and with my partner we engaged intimately, naked we wrapped around one another. I said to him I wanted to show him something amazing. Immediately I brought my hands to prayer, still in his embrace, and an arc of sparking light like how 'God' appeared bursted from my abdomen in a different dream experience (one of my most profound). It was nothing short of magic that released into the gray, dim world through our love and prayer. Gives a truer meaning to the phrase 'making love' than we've ever understood. It was beautiful and I wondered if it meant I could harness water, if it was a power to make miracles happen. Jim pulled away to see it more and pulled my soul out as he moved. My perspective remained in my body though, petrified, seeing a glowing outline of myself pulled out and with him. "Whoops." He said and somehow let go for it to return.

Consciousness Abduction

Edited October 20th, 2017

[Note: The connotation I associate to this experience changed a couple months later as I developed a curiosity and understanding of the beings I encountered. My initial reaction was one of distress and confusion. I was so disturbed by the experience I woke up and immediately needed to draw. I found crayons and paper and drew three images (poorly, I might add) from the experience.

Although I've titled this experience as an Abduction, I must iterate for myself that I did state a readiness for such an encounter. Perhaps there was some amount of complicity in it.

First was a lucid dream where I met the shape-shifting blonde, eagle woman and saw a UFO scanning the trees. Then, I awoke in a different body not my own aboard an alien ship. I cannot highlight this enough. My consciousness was transferred to a clone-like, weak body which I awoke into.]

INTRODUCTION

Most significant dream experience I've had in a while. Shocking, and disturbing.
My morning was extremely difficult fighting with my toddler's refusal to accept I cannot nurse him as much as he wants. I felt helpless, second guessing, as I have been this entire trip in Portland to work on my book, if coming up here was a good idea. But I must get my book done. He misses his dad so much. I miss having him put the kid to bed to help me wean. He can't nurse if I'm not in the room (I would sleep on the couch most nights). I'm embarrassed. His other grandparents and aunt want to take him out to the zoo on the weekend and I am nervous he will throw a tantrum the whole time.

A degree in psychology, experience as a child care worker, raising my own sisters, you'd think I would know a thing or two about this, but I am exhausted! I took a nap at noon, too upset and tired to work today. And this is what happened...