Oct 1, 2013

Spirit Walking

It's late, already 7pm and the sun is down, but only now is my family ready to go on a day trip to the mountain. I'm emotionally desperate to revel in nature that I don't care how late it is. My father expects we will just sleep in the vehicle when we arrive since it's so late already, but it won't hold us. A small train with two cars pulls up and the whole side of one car strips back to allow us entrance. The inside is divided into compartments. My dad says we are each receiving assigned roles and titles. I can sense the unattached frustration in his manner. [The dream a few days ago featuring him cleaning the debris and junk out of the yard showed him with the same attitude. I have not seen my dad in over 6 months. But I suspect he is reaching a turning point in the state of his life with regard to the conditions of his home and the lack of motivation and forward movement by the household.] This was a suggestion I made to him in email about how to lead by assigning titles and clear roles that utilize their skills, so the focus is on contribution to the whole and feeling valuable. He assigns us with letters, though, not something I recommended or was familiar with. I am assigned "A" to mean second in command, assistant to the leader. My sisters each get a letter following that. Then, my partner, he calls him Mulder from X-Files (haven't even gone through 2 seasons of the show, but the concept of two partners like Scully and Mulder have been included in my dreams before to depict that kind of investigative relationship), gets the same 'A' assignment. I am relieved, because he was sitting in the end compartment and would seem to get the last letter. But my father recognized his usefulness and his importance as my teammate.

Along our train ride, trouble strikes. A highly trained thief and assassin had stowed aboard. She is dressed in a red chinese kimono dress with very short sleeves. Her hair is black and pulled back with a stick. Lips that classic red that covers only the immediate center to look like she is puckering all the time, and powdered white face. Long dangly earrings.

She is after a necklace Mulder and I are safeguarding. No one was supposed to know we had it aboard, not even my family. It had magical properties, though it looked like simple beadwork (also red) and chain. I yell for him, that an intruder is after the necklace. She tries to choke me or swings at me or something threatening before Mulder wrestles her to the ground to get her off me. She stands up and draws a katana. I toss him a weapon, maybe a pipe. I'm worried for him, but run to the back to hide the necklace. I put it in a shampoo bottle in the shower hurriedly as their battle makes it way into this bathroom. Just as I put it in, something strange happens. Mulder is struck by some magic and evaporates into the air, just vanishes in smoke. Anger and grief grip me. I yell at her like a child who just got hurt during a game and feels their playmate went too far. I ask her if the necklace is really worth it. I tell her she won't find it and isn't it enough that she took him away from me. She knows where it is though. The side door of the car is open again, and I am looking out like he was thrown out and vanished. Ah! Maybe that's what happened. He was thrown out and vanished into the air. This is no ordinary train. It's like I thought! It rides the currant of the ocean (the higher dimension of non-locality where instantaneous travel is possible)! All those train dreams have been trying to show me! I need a vehicle of travel. [A body as the vehicle, or imagine a vehicle carrying me in order to transport as body and spirit?] I was so distraught over losing my partner that I let her have the necklace. She became a man with a different attitude. S/he showed a glimpse of remorse. A connection was developing between us. He wanted to stay with me. The assassin became protective of me.

There was something incomplete about how my partner 'died.' He disintegrated, but somehow I wasn't sure that he was dead. I just knew he no longer could be with me in the same capacity as before. I was also getting a faint notion that his consciousness was still alive, but I couldn't pinpoint it. A strong sense of duty was reinvigorated in me and I became aware of what I still needed to do. I had a job to fulfill, now only I could perform the actions to complete it. As I left the bathroom I hear a clinking of metal hitting the sink. I turn and find a ring had fallen into the sink. Two rings were there that were not there before. One in the sink and one sitting on the raised side where the soap would be. Did I knock it off? No, I couldn't have. They weren't there before, I know it.

I picked them up. One was a flat, bent piece of silver metal with intricate pictures raised and carved on the surface. Then I recognized it. This was the re-purposed ring my partner was wearing [the same ring my actual life partner, Jim, wears:  a large silver band with a celtic-style braid wrapped around as a raised carving; used as content again to depict a meaning of our relationship to one another as devoted and of life and love.] He was still around. He reshaped it for me to wear in my travels without him present in a body. He now existed as an omniscient presence above the physical world I walked, and he could affect it in small but important ways. I heard his voice in my body as a knowing that he was okay and looking out for me. Our work wasn't finished. He would contribute from his position as an essence above the world in my immediate sphere of surroundings, like a crystal globe where he could see everything around me for miles.

The other ring was the necklace's power repossessed into a ring form. The center piece was a small glass globe with a red bead pressed inside into the band. Rejuvenated, I set them both in their place on my ring finger and pinkie side by side, surprised to see they fit perfectly, though the metal looked oddly contorted. How does a spirit energy weld metal? Guess it would be oddly contorted. But it fit. I carry on and explain to my family what happened, but not what the rings mean, just that I know he's okay. The how still evaded me.

A scene change later, I am among a group of strangers. The setting is outside on a beige dirt colored staging area, like we are waiting for something. People are meeting back up, this may be an evacuation meeting site. There are supplies stacked everywhere, and white bags full. I am sitting amidst the chatter anxiously waiting for who I think is arriving. This is a merging station where the two worlds intersect. No one believes me that he will show because they don't believe it really is a place where the disembodied can re-emerge onto the physical plane. I am adamant. My mind is preoccupied with questions though. What happened to him? Where did he go? I hear a calling right beside me, and turn into the floaty face of my partner. I hug him desperately as he explains directly into my mind with a comforting affect that he was thrown out of the dimension. So he has been watching from the next dimension away, guiding me and devoting his energy to assessment and preparation for actions I will perform. He paved the way in cooperation with what I was seeing and knew. The knowing and imagery he downloaded into my memory (interfacing/direct sharing) validated theories and ideas I know I have been exploring here in this real waking life. It was an amazing unification in one scene between three different dimensions:  my higher soul essence in the dream state, my waking life, and my partner's indication of being on the other side. What I saw in that downloaded memory was of him falling sideways through a portal that rippled like liquid but was invisible to the naked eye when something was not going through it. Then him landing in a room on the other side, but I only saw it like looking through glass, not from the inside out as he would have seen it. It was like I walked around the side of the portal and could see into that other side like it was a transparent room hovering in the space, but clearly not in the same physical dimension. Very confusing, I know.

Everyone around me was confused, saying he hadn't come, but I insisted he was there talking and holding me. Before I left the dream, I zoomed out a couple feet from my dream body to see that indeed I was laying atop what looked like a large outstretched, flattened, loaf of bread dough. It was lifeless and without detail. It didn't destroy what I know I saw, it proved to me something else, because I was sure I was holding and communicating with the real soul of my partner, but what was happening is that only I could see him. His soul was so intimately intertwined with my own that he could project the perception of his being there, and in essence was present and physical for me, but only for me. His presence and physical groundedness for others to perceive did not interest him. His energy was concentrated with me.

This really is trying to get at the root of the trouble I have been experimenting with this whole year, how a spirit being manifests in the physical world, and how we can detach body and spirit from this world to walk among them without necessarily dying (which would be only spirit walking, without a vessel of the physical world). I have figured that dreaming is spirit walking as well, but this dream suggests otherwise. An ascended body-spirit as a unit would not be weighed down by gravitational forces, it could walk on water and access the program of this physical world to enact things like spontaneous healing and moving a mountain. But how does one achieve this? Do we have to die to achieve this? I walk among the spirits in my dream-state. Can I do so while awake in the physical body? This dream tried very seriously to help me understand these questions. I thank you for that at least. I've also realized you've been trying to explain it to me many times. I can think of four train dream experiences off the top of my head. The troubling thing about the train theme is there tends to be an infiltrator (the Chinese assassin, a giant cannibal, MIB large type pursuers). The three electric trains (different dreams) were different, they

What would have happened if I were thrown off the train instead of him? Have I been 'thrown off' before in the dream-state? When my consciousness was abducted, with how much more real that felt, the vividness and detail and sensation, was I pulled from the spirit walk with attachment to the physical vessel and allowed to experience the dimension made semi-permanent, semi-physical (unlike dream walking where those worlds are temporary, and more like echoes that can be made more permanent with collective contribution to its creation by a population of minds. Okay, maybe I haven't been specific. In the previous post I wrote about pool hopping and swimming in the ocean of infinity, it was emphasized how important it is to have a destination. There are dangerous pools out there. So when I was abducted, I was brought into a particular pool (maybe two, depending on whether the two different alien ships share the same waters/dimension). How do I visit one of their pools again, but this time have more control and freedom? They have a firm hold on the details and makeup of their dimension, so I can't come in with freedoms very easily because I don't know the criterion that has built that dimension. I know my kingdom, the one I have been building from the ether of creativity in my dreamscape. But I want so much to visit theirs again, even if for the same purpose. I will voluntarily submit to the same procedures if I can get another glimpse into the plethora of information I might learn by being there. If others can infiltrate my kingdom, how can I infiltrate another's? Is that immoral to do so? I mean no harm, but how do I penetrate through without an invitation?

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