Jan 31, 2013

Taking Care of Business

I asked before bed, having been feeling very lost and aching for change, what can I do that will allow me to better stimulate and educate my son, while granting me freedom, get away from my monotone environment, but still survive and feed us, travel but still write, and see both Chris and Jim? Is there a solution to all these aspects? The happiest I have been in the last year was when I was traveling around to and from Montana. I liked the few weeks traveling, few weeks at home balance. But how can I write and travel? Will I have time to write if I see both men while toting around a toddler? I imagine as a writer that would be the kind of living I would have to do, and I would have my own money to do it with. However, I have to actually have a writing job, and I've worked too hard on this damn book to take an unrelated gig requiring me to diverge from my topics of interest. But I can't write enough during any given week to finish the book because I don't have child care, and even then I wouldn't see Jim for months maybe.

Dream: Grabbing snacks at a mini-mart. Those with me include my dad, Chris (childhood sweetheart), two of my sisters, Kate (friend), Link? (my son). We stopped here along our travels. I am scooping a self-serve taco bar. Kate starts singing a song while she finds her own snacks. I join in near the end with a harmony, and one of my sisters (or another friend maybe) does so as well, producing a nice sound. People in the store applauded. I hadn't even looked up from choosing which toppings and scooping. Someone asked me to sing again. Humbled, I look around to gauge the reaction. Others also seem interested in hearing more. Okay. What should I sing? "Give me a moment then." I quickly grab "Bohemian Rhapsody" out of the air, its an energetic crowd pleaser that everyone can join, and its well known enough to assume most adults do know it. I dramatized every verse. Soon, everyone had joined. Much to my surprise, and entire chorus and make-shift orchestra of beats had added. We performed together there in the center aisle of a little mini-mart with diagonal rows. Some were off key, but overall, it was fun and was good enough to boost the mood of everyone there. We allowed it taper off at a point we somehow all agreed (without any cue) would be an appropriate ending point (since it is a long song). Then everyone laughed and clapped and went about their business with smiles on. Wow.

I approached the counter. My friend agreed to pay for me. I tried to be conscientious about the prices because our funds only allowed me to spend like three and a half dollars for snack. I think I went over a little. We were walking out, Chris was leading me with a hand at my back. "Didn't expect I could do that, huh?" I asked him. "I've always known you were amazing." He replied soothingly and with such a genuine appreciation. I smiled.

Next moment, we are walking into a corridor with framed pictures lining a long wall. Around the corner was where everyone was settling down to sleep. Chris and I were still talking about the random chorus number in the mini-mart. I wasn't ready to sleep, I was hyped up from the experience. I explained that I often know how to liven up a room that usually sees little positive excitement. Such places need that boost of energy.

Analysis: So what, your answer is to be a kind of traveling bard? Am I supposed to travel around surviving off limited funds and donations? Yes I enjoy singing and bringing life to a boring or awkward situation, as I do among friends and when I am out for a night on the town. I meet people, I do lots of karaoke. Hometown taverns have the best kinds of personalities. And I like the idea of bringing my knack for changing the energy of a place into that of an expected and uplifting experience. However, that requires a lot of faith to just go about trusting our base needs will somehow be met through the miracles of the spirits. And where is my writing in all this? Where is Jim? Was this a long term answer or a short term solution?

I returned to this frustration at the end of the day. That feeling of being trapped was stirring too much, hindering my patience with baby, yet again. Overcoming the weakness from the flu only adds to the feeling. Wrestling with these life-planning issues, I finally landed on an answer.

The first draft of the book is very close to being done, just a few stubbornly complicated sections. All the base material I need for directional purposes have become clear in recent weeks through my dream relationship (relationship with my dreams as a guiding force). I should travel up to my family, have them watch Link (which they would enjoy frankly, although I would need to monitor that he is being cared for) while I work during the day like a regular 8 hour job at the library until my book is done! It might be weeks, but if Jim wants to see me he can just come up, since his family is up there already. Also, if Chris wants to see me he can come down (my family is around half-way point between my home down south and Chris further north). Otherwise, I am getting this damn book finished. It is my ticket into the publishing world, I've always believed that. My sister/editor is pregnant now so she won't be able to help me much anymore. Jim could act as my editor, he would be more reliable anyway for content; I do grammar corrections pretty easily myself already. Link would enjoy being with the bustle of their house, and so would Odin. I would have my babysitters and time to work. After my client tomorrow I should pack to leave Sunday. Do errands tomorrow. I will have to say goodbye to Chelsea since she is leaving, and explain why I must see her off early. Bring her a nice present. Soccer is on break anyway for a few weeks, so good timing there as well.

I'm not certain my dream was alluding to the answer i arrived at, but I know I feel my best when I can bring beauty and love to another person, either with my presence, company, or song (for strangers and platonic friends this is the least). Can my writing capture that same essence?

Jan 30, 2013


Night and Day of Jan. 29/30th 2013

Sick most of this night and day with lots of forced rest allowing many cycles for dreams.

Dreams: Running around an outside play structure. Feel the thrill of play like a child, but engaging in more adult kind of goal. Sparring game of elimination. Objective is to be the last one standing. Started off playing swords with different lengths of wood rods, not round, maybe hexagonal, cleanly made (no splinters or superficial irregularities), light tan color. Couple of us are showing off with them, pretending they are swords. Me and many guys my age are participating. We created the game after finding the rods. Quickly becomes a seek and destroy game. I strangle one, stab another, shuriken another (don't really kill, just imitate the moves and the kill is declared), duck in and out of the structure. I climb around acrobatically, swiftly. I try not to be seen by the other players pursuing. I choose carefully when to run, when to strike, all with a confidence that I have a wider array of skills and resourcefulness. I use the structure as cover and to confuse my opponent males who cannot as easily maneuver in and out, up and down the structure as I can. Down to one other. Had to climb away. Don't let him see I had just finished off the last person he was stumbling onto the scene of, so he is made to feel nervous that I could already be nearby watching and preparing to strike. A few of our friends who didn't think they had the skills to participate are standing on the sides of the play area (bark dust ground) to watch and cheer and cast insults. I am doing very well. My last challenger will be difficult. He is the best. He did spot me, I had to keep moving through the structure, down onto the ground. I ditched my weapons with each kill. Didn't pick up another one yet. Being hot on me, I reacted using my fear to drive me to climb up two ropes of thick chains (once held up a tire swing perhaps). He wouldn't be able to climb after me. The people on the sidelines awed at my surprising strength for my seemingly limited muscle. Now I'm up here, how do I win? I can't come down, he is a burly guy with a sword waiting for me. I act quickly, rocking the chains back and forth to swing at him. The heavy ends knock him down. Based on our world physics, I don't know that that should have worked, but they reacted to my imaginings. I imagined the chains to be controllable enough for me to whip them fast enough toward him that he doesn't have time to react before they are right on top of him.

I find this phenomenon quite a bit in testing scenarios in my dreams, where the circumstances seem influenced or manipulated by my will. If I can imagine a particular outcome as the event is occurring, it will likely happen as I decide it too. This suggests again that consciousness does create. I want to know how much it is creating though, and how much is it just reacting to presented problems.

There is some cause for me to vouch for my abilites "You've seen what I can do, you've seen my skills are superior that I could have beat them all myself."

Next scene:  Rehearsing for choir. I have three folders; my music is separated between the different groups I'm in by color. 'How smart' I think to myself that I had organized them. Didn't remember doing that though, became apparent as I looked through each folder and the answer was provided to me. Which folder is the group I'm sitting with now? Still singing even though I don't have the music in front of me. Pay such close attention that I had practically memorized our pieces already. Need me to take notes and parts where that section is having trouble. I am depended upon as someone who is versatile who can do the difficult parts or where there aren't enough people to take and do them on my own. I can help others out as well, even if just for a few run-throughs until they get their part better. I enjoy my role, I feel valuable to the group and to the director. [This may have been the message my choir dreams were trying to get across to me, which I wasn't getting, and so have been repeated.]

Was doing something outside the class for a moment [where was I?]. Upon returning, director is standing outside away from class for a moment and asks to talk. He is having trouble and is feeling low in his abilities. I give him praise and reassurance.  He is pleased and uplifted by my words. He thanks me sincerely and with humility. I encourage him back to the class. I say I had to do something before returning, which he understood, some other duty I had to perform. I was looking for something. As he was about to return I jumped the opportunity to ask for his help in my search. I felt slightly manipulative that I asked a favor for my kindness, like it had a price, but I decided to utilize it nonetheless. He might have an item I saw on his desk, perhaps a file or paper that I needed to help my mission elsewhere in the school. He agreed and brought me in. I followed him up to his desk. The other students were curious why I was being allowed special privilege out of class. I suddenly become aware that I am clutching my chest because I am not wearing a top. My top half is exposed. Embarrassed I make sure I am covering my breasts up completely, but still feel I have a reasonable excuse that they should respect because of the other duties I take on. I explain away that I am half naked by saying "You saw what I was doing out there, I worked my ass off." Referring to my war game, I think. Somehow that made me lose my shirt? I was merely stating that to maintain my integrity in their eyes. I didn't really care too much though and figured they might not understand but they would still respect my unique situation. The teacher retrieved the item for me and I left. Someone else was with me. We were walking. I had to use the restroom before we went on. I directed us down the main hall, knowing this building layout better than my companion because it was my old elementary school.

In the bathroom was another female student (college age, like we all were). She was rather talkative. I sat to potty. The entire back wall behind the stalls was a black transparency looking into a dining area. People were sitting at tables eating like a restaurant. How odd. They could see anyone who used this facility going to the bathroom. Why are they there? I looked again to see two types of creatures, a bipedal deformed type with large eyes, unattractive in appearance, and a hairy one I couldn't distinguish as having any features except limbs. They had been in the parallel dimensional building behind this bathroom for a long while. The gal was going to leave but was forgetting something that fell out of her bag when she accidentally dropped it earlier near my stall. One of the prisoners behind the transparent black wall came into my field of vision through the stall in my realm to pick up the item she had dropped and give it to her saying she almost forgot it. He then retreated back to an ajar gate overlapping the dimension, where I sat in the bathroom, off to my back left. I should have seen the walls of my stall, but was actually seeing a gate in line with the back wall where the beings were looking through. The gal expressed disgust about the creature that helped her. I scolded her saying they are living beings too and deserve equal treatment. She shouldn't assume why they were there. I finished and needed to pull my pants back up. I accepted that they would just end up seeing my tush, stood and pulled up my pants without much humiliation. I just told myself I had a nice tush that I shouldn't be embarrassed about. Who knows how many beings could see through that wall.

The wall separating these two dimensions was like the see-through side of a one-way mirror, but without the mirror on the other side since they did interact with us and thus proved they were watching. They could go through their gate, so it wasn't a prison as I wondered. It was a gateway that generally is left closed but can be opened. Why were they watching such a private area? People would not react kindly to them, I imagine was part of that message with the other gal. I, myself might have some amount of fear, but never the kind of reaction she showed. I would be curious if I could overcome my fear of harm to myself and uncertainty of the creature's intent. So you can see through walls then. I figured. We don't really have privacy and that would certainly unnerve people. I don't mind. As long as you study us with good intention and no desire to hurt us, I don't mind. What are you studying us for? Just general information or more specific things? Would you introduce yourselves to me more directly in my next dreams? What is your relationships with any of the other beings I have been contacted by? Heheh. Why are you so hairy? Body temperature regulation?


While coming to from a dream state a couple weeks ago, not sure what day it was and forgot to write it down, the word "Bismuth" clearly sounded in my mind at least twice. I've come to recognize deliberate repetitions of words or images or phrases are the dream world's means of emphasizing something into my memory. There was no context for me to understand why this word came to my mind, perhaps it was a panicked summary, like I was waking before the entire message could get across and so the clue was summarized. Although, that morning I was waking up on my own accord, not be jolted awake by my environment. It was a weekend day. Jim had just walked in to notify me what time it was, but I was waking before he got to me. Could have been an anticipatory summarizing.

Regardless, it felt random. The word appeared in my consciousness without an image. I searched for an image, it just repeated the word. I acknowledged that I received the word, and immediately wondered why. What is the significance of this element? I didn't even know it was an element at first, just to show how unknown the name and substance was to me. Such an occurrence suggests to me a reception of outside messages, not subconsciously created.

Trusty Wikipedia describes Bismuth as a dense metal comparable to lead. Key facts that stood out to me as potentially significant (what I was meant to learn about it as background for an upcoming message) is that it has the lowest toxicity of any other metal, its pharmaceutically used as a base (think Pepto-Bismol), it is twice as abundant as gold on our planet, it's lustre is that of silver, white, pink hue, artificially grown as crystal with stair-like symmetrical pattern, with an oxidized surface creates a beautiful rainbow effect, low value of thermal conductivity, and perhaps most importantly as far as its use, it is the most naturally diamagnetic (creating a magnetic field naturally).

Is bismuth what alien crafts are made out of? Is it related to the portal I saw? The rainbow reflective appearance reminds me of the fluxing object from the Berlin video, the portal I suspect is in front of Sirius (and many other nearby stars). I await further insight and direction.

Update:  BTW, the star I viewed with that astronomer was not the same one in flux I see in my skies to the east (southeast?). Whoops. The apartment buildings were blocking the one I was referring to and mistook Sirius to be the one I was wanting to investigate. Not that Sirius couldn't have a stargate/portal along out line of sight, but I specifically wanted to view this other object.

Jan 27, 2013

Night of Jan. 26/27th 2013

So many dreams! Argh. Complex messages.

Dream: First sequence - Driving around with Chris, Shantey, and Otus (children I grew up that were friends of my family whom I am still close with today; like adopted brothers and sisters in many respects) with intent to pick up items our communal family of relatives needed back at the house, a house I have never been to nor know where it is, but we did ride on bus or tram at some point getting back. Momentarily afraid Otus would be left behind, tried to delay the bus so he could catch up. He did. Maneuvered through a neighborhood back to our house. I went to their upstairs neighbor who was watching my son, I think. I was adament I would bring them some homemade peanut butter oatmeal/cereal bars [I have never made this, but could easily do so and have the ingredients in my home to, sounded like a good snack actually to make for later (in real world)] to thank them and as a gesture of friendliness. They started saying they were going to sue my parents because of the disarray they allow their house to be in and for the amount of activity there because they had so many people living in one place. How unappreciative, I thought. "What does that have to do with you? They're not hurting you with the status of their home." "It's hazardous to their kids." They were sounding like they just wanted someone to hate and criticize and my family was an easy target. Their own place was not a beautiful display of homely decor, but it was slightly more kept (floor was less messy and things were piled off the floor which made them more tidy somehow). Not wanting to burn bridges, but wanting to protect my family, I said in a very direct tone "You know you have not case. You could call the authorities to complain and what would you say? They live above you so..." I was implying 'there is no way you could complain about them being noisy from so many people moving around.' "If you have a problem, go tell my parents, don't threaten them through me. Work it out with them." I encouraged them to just accept our offer of friendship and not be so unnecessarily passive aggressive. "I'll be back to bring you those bars. I will, you'll like them." And we left.

Next sequence: At old apartments outside. An event is winding down. Egg hunt like for American Easter holiday using plastic eggs with little crap toys and candies. Sifting through the piles of 'left over' or abandoned eggs, most of which were already opened. I was searching for useful items like I was a child given cheap school supplies that made me feel like a big kid. A friend my age, but less considerate and compassionate of others than I felt to be, was gossiping to me and another gal about this girl from our old high school who was coming home to her apartment about 50 feet away. I chimed in to correct their attitudes "Hey, no. She is pregnant, have some sympathy." I had imparted feelings of understanding to them while criticizing them for their unfair and snap judgments of her She looked fatigued, and her belly, I thought, was an obvious give away of her state of mind, which the girls with me were misinterpretting as her being stuck up. She didn't think she was more mature, even though she was, she was just exhausted from working and because of issues with father. They ceased their verbal assault.

Two older figures were starting to clean up all the eggs we were sifting through. I panicked, "Can we keep looking through them, we are having fun and no one else is going to use them!" They explained we would have to talk to the person who coordinated the event, who was my old 6th grade teacher (I was very close with and was a force of change and guidance in my life; she appeared in the dream where I was supposed to survive in competition with two other students from Dec. 18/19th 2012 - which I have not typed up on this blog yet). She was sitting nearby sorting through some things. I ran to her and plead my case. She accepted and allowed us to keep going.

Third Sequence: Group of old and new friends arrive at an crammed motel for the night. It is small inside. Is this the lobby? I ask one of our leaders later on. Where are the rooms? One is above us. The door is a story up but there are no stairs to it. Think of a high ceiling where the main room ... wow this is tough to explain. There are two floors in a way, because one of the guest rooms is at the height of a second floor but there is no floor connected to that doorway. How do we get up to the door? Felt like a Zelda game puzzle. The main floor of the lobby was actually an elevator that rose up to allow access to the next floor of doors. I only focused on one door though that I called to be my room. As the floor started to rise, I worried one of my friends left on the bottom would be caught between a portion of the ceiling that was lower because it held up a room from the next floor, and this rising platform, but she was okay. I went in the second story door and wondered how to send the platform back. It automatically went back. We were all talking to each other, explaining what was happening and voicing our questions aloud. "Here its coming back down. Get on this time." I called to my friend Chelsea. My dad entered from the main door. "I'm calling this room. I'm tired. The center floor is the elevator." Then I move in to explore my room.

Large space, big bed, too much for just me. Kate enters in from a side door. How'd she get up here? "There are stairs by the entrance." "Oh." She is ready to clean up and relax as well. What have we all been doing that would make us all so tired and want to clean ourselves. Feel like we have been traveling and training. I'm awkward. Does she want to share this room with me? Is that going to be weird because I have romantic feelings for her? A male leader, Angel character from Joss Whedon's show enters from the bathroom. Now how did he already get up here? Another secret entrance I wasn't aware of? Were we all going to share this room? Maybe it is the only room. Or he came from another room down that hallway where the bathroom is in between the two rooms. Yes that explains the layout I saw clues about but didn't put it together in the dream. Then another male leader... I know him. I know him intimately. I have seen him before many times. I know his name. But I can't remember it. He is blonde. [Not generally attracted to blonde guys but I guess I am to this guy.] His hair has grown so it has been awhile since I've seen him. Everyone is chatting as they move about to get settled in. I make a not so subtle joke that he can stay in my room, that I'll have him. He didn't seem to hear me and is chatting with Angel. I am wildly attracted to this blonde guy, and have been secretly for some time. Now who the f-ck is he? I don't even know if there was a name, rather an feeling of familiar presence like a fingerprint that was recognizable as being only him.

We haven't stayed long, but we already feel like we are preparing for our next mission. I feel strong need to make peanut butter oatmeal/cereal bars as part of this mission. Am I making the peace offering or distraction? Am I the distraction? I infiltrate through intimate means. Is the inclusion of an agent with demon background, like Angel would be representing, by design in constructing our teams?

Analysis: ... I got nothing... seems to be a complex mission dream, which I haven't had in many weeks. Never been so specific about who my other team mates are. Usually I was always in a two-three person team, now it has been in a group of five or more. Am I starting to work better in a group setting? I still felt introverted socially, but when exploring and interacting with outside sources beyond our group, I did play my part well and felt like a leader of sorts, maybe more of a scout or navigator. Still unclear. Maybe my role changes from team to team or situation to situation. Makes sense that we would be flexible. What's our mission for this team?

First and second sequences I confidently confronted an issue with a clear belief of fairness, until the third scene where I wasn't confident confronting issues around my feelings for romantic interests openly. I can confront strangers, mentors, authority, friends, neighbors, but not romantic interests. I finally brought up my polyamorous compromise to a situation that I have been faced with for years

Night of Jan. 26/27th 2013

In brief, because I don't remember much except one general scene that echoed in my memory as I awoke, I am showing a friend of mine that UFO's are very active in this desert-like area with odd flat-top hills that drop into cliffs. I said I've vacationed in Yosemite National Park before. As I exclaim to her my experiences here (this may have been a different area from Yosemite because I recall me regaling my adventure with my old girlfriend going to Yosemite during the winter when it was covered in snow), an alien craft swooshes down nearby us and almost takes our heads off, it flew so low. "See! See!" I said to her, so glad there was evidence.

Obviously my dreams are revealing my concerns about other people not taking me seriously. But they also always demonstrate an event where my suspicions are proven to that other party. My concern could have easily been demonstrated to me without the victories of visible sitings proving to those I want to share my excitement with in the dream. But I do strongly believe there is ET contact, that is no longer a question for me, even if it still is for others who do not try to explore available sources for answers. I am realizing I need to move past my concern for whether others will believe me.

On multiple occasions now, in doing this dream tracking and theorizing, I have opened up to people I've met while out having a drink with friends who happily report their dreams to me in hopes I might have an explanation for their odd or disturbing dreams. I am finding people are much more accepting and entranced by what I have to say regarding my research, no matter where it has taken me (Galactic Federation, soul being capable of light speed travel to distant stars where some experiences are occurring). I am inclined to understand their dreams from a stance of truth, from a perspective of the universe where thousands of alien intelligences exist and interact with us and where our souls can function at a higher vibration than possible for our physical bodies. My psychology background would regard dreams as primarily metaphors, not actual experiences with external stimuli creating the experience, but purely constructs of the brain's material. Metaphor is certainly a device of dreams, but more for the purpose of relaying a complex message to the person. Whether one's subconscious or an outside helping source that is linked into a collective communication network.

In my dream the night before, I helped out a woman similar to my Aunt Jill (a religious homemaker with five children) put two of her children down for bed with less fuss. I was acting nanny. My life recently has been filled with my attempts to do good deeds by helping other moms in whatever ways I can:  nights away while I babysit our children, grabbing items they need from the store and delivering to them, offering advice when asked, going out of my way to provide them with things they need that is within my resources and abilities to do so, checking in on them. From this active, helpful attitude, I may have been 'recruited' in a way, or rather permitted myself to help someone else (this Aunt in my dream) with her own children. Is there someone out there who had a dream of me where I was serving as a guide to them in their own motherly frustrations in their waking life? What force allowed us to connect, if so? Our actions in the physical world could have a potentially tremendous impact on others if this is the case. Some underlying force would be acting like a switchboard operator, plugging in persons with the necessary skill or attitude of recent to help someone else who is struggling on an issue that person has a particular ability to help with at that time. I was sure of my methods in the dream, it worked, if not merely for the fact that I was confident it would, which was a miracle for this mom walking the edge of her breaking point.

You might wonder "Well, what about all the other possibilities that this dream could be pointing to?" Truth is truth, it is one way, it will feel right when you know it and that is how it felt in that dream that I achieved a state of mind that was conducive to solving a particular problem a mother relative to myself was dealing with.Assessing other possibilities in this instance would by doubting the knowing I had in that dream during that sequence and we too often complicate the issue of interpretation of dream experiences by analyzing them from our physical perspectives that are not in comparable awareness and ability as our perspectives while in the dream world. It must remain in that context unless there is the feeling that it should be carried through to the physical world.

On that note, I have never been to Yosemite National Park, nor have I thought about it or heard about it recently, that I am aware of. Where did this come from? Because I randomly dreamt about driving to San Francisco during an arctic-like blizzard, and (after seeing a map) Yosemite is East of SF, I am going to approach this with the feeling that there is a connection trying to be made here. When I awoke, the park name echoed in my memory which is usually telling me "research time, find the missing information you need to understand to further this storyline." Yes, my dreams are definitely taking on a progressive story arch leading to some epiphany or revelation. Four months of tracking my dreams, this became apparent, and so I have followed this bizarre journey. I feel as though I am reading a book where I am immersed in the book, like a video game. I feel I am in the most personal video game ever created. Perhaps video games were the product of a deliberate push by spirit muses in that direction to give us a physical equivalent to what is happening in dreams. We are being taken on a story in which we have partial creative control and affect in dictating the direction of the story.

Update: Doing research on Yosemite to familiarize myself. Wow, what a beautiful park! Is this for real?! Looks like heaven. A strong pull is telling me this is the elevated valley-like area in a mountain range that I saw in the dream where Uranus pulsed down white paths to Earth, ground split open, we were all transported to motherships and given orientation into the society of the Federation. Is this perhaps a retreat for people in the surrounding area? I do not live near there, I am up North. But if some disaster does force people further inland or toward oasis, this park might be such a place.

Amazing to witness these puzzle pieces bring themselves together with barely any conscious effort on my part. I just saw pictures and knew. That has been the case with all my encouragements to research. I usually dont have to go far for the answer it was wanting to show me. It helps me that there is such deliberate involvement of my dream guides to connect what I see to the physical world around me. Fresh water jellyfish, fleur de lis gold coins, Thunderbirds,  , now Yosemite NP all were calls for research as a way to confirm what I was being shown has bearing in reality. When things have been aligned right, I receive my next pieces of information to the puzzle (or mission).

As a note, not yet sure if this is important, San Francisco has looked to pulling/diverting water from the Tuolumne River from Yosemite NP as drinking water for SF population in growing water crisis.

My ears have been hurting. I hope its because I will be hearing from a real voice and not that I am getting sick or have an ear infection of build up.

Jan 25, 2013

Response to Drought

My awesome partner who somehow knows exactly what to connect to helping me interpret certain aspects of my dreams I was unaware of, has pointed out to me that dousing rods will cross supposedly when water is found. The thin steel bars of the cage that my knowing recognized as a kind of radio or receiver had crossing wires on top. I will draw this simple radio sized cage and upload it. There was nothing in it, which seemed odd to me that it looked to be an empty container, and knew it was the device itself that served some other more sophisticated yet simple purpose. Is this a communication device, or is it related to water like dousing rods?

According to the recently released National Climate Assessment by the US Global Change Research Program from Washington, D.C., drought is a serious concern plaguing the US because of rising temperatures and low rainfall. Wildfire season in 2012 was the third worst on record because of the dry forests. War over water within our own states (as well as other parts of the world) has been theorized as a current issue of concern that will grow with global warming, as discussed in documentaries like "Blue Gold" and "Water Wars." Southern California and south central States are at most risk.

My dreams focus on a sudden pouring of rain leading to flooding and unheard of accumulations of snow in atypical areas like Southern California may be explaining a plan to intervene by creating weather conditions that will replenish these areas of water. I always assumed it was a cleansing of the people, but it is a relief effort. How could I have been so wrong. Perhaps it is both.

The snow dream last night (Jan 24/25) was in Portland; Northern Oregon. If the Earth turned on its axis in order to create a switch in climates, would Northern Oregon and Southern California both be in a zone where they would both receive the same weather? Or is this a deliberate manipulation of the weather to help with the water crisis?

I am excited to discover what function this wire cage is and how I am to use it.


Jan 24, 2013

Spiritual Encounters

Summary: Pressed reconciliation of mother issues; male counterpart of our trio team in training is chosen for assignment over us; indulgent fun instead; encounter with human spirits being transported from Earth and two alien crafts; third craft drops metal cage device in my hands for me to hold onto; differentiating what is spiritually permisable and what is harmful (good and evil).

Jan 23, 2013

Night of Jan. 19/20th 2013

Dream: Primary sequence that confuses me - Young woman I am perceiving experience through but does not look like me nor feel like me. With younger female sibling. We are taken from our parents hurriedly out of a compound/enclosed town surrounded by fencing or barrier of some kind. Two agents are removing us, man and a woman. They have our best interest at heart, but we are resisting being pulled away from our parents. We all know they are trying to spare our lives; something is going to happen to the town. We struggle, sobbing, but are pulled out of view of the town. I break free after a flash of light, and run to the edge of where the town grounds seemed to begin. It was marked by a clear change from dirt [not sure what material the rest of the flat ground surrounding the compound grounds was] to ash. This was no explosion, the ash started in a precise line. What used to be the town was obliterated. Ominous sky, like smoke clouding the sunset, and ships battling in the air with lasers. I dropped to my knees to pick up some ash as if I was feeling the remains of my parents.

The agents didn't want us being too close to the incineration zone too long, maybe because of radiation or because of prolonged emotional trauma staring at the leveling of structures and people to a flat square area of ash. What a powerful weapon, whatever caused this so quickly and without incident. My sister dropped down to do the same with me, partly to copy my grief. They pulled us up. We had to get moving. I broke away again and ran for the gate exit. Guards were posted everywhere. [Where am I? Why were we prisoners in that town being guarded and fenced?] They were responding to my escape by showing up down my path in lines and as deterrents to funnel me toward where I could return to an agent's supervision. I hear a narrator again who is talking only to me. He says "They cannot harm you. Pass by them if you wish, they will not touch you. They are only acting as deterrents." I test this by heading straight down a road toward on of them. As predicted, the guards part as I arrive close to them. I run right past them.

Another scene was training in the rain on a large wooden jungle gym-like structure with others. I was roleplaying being a woman in distress and Chris was playing Batman, who was driving around in a go-cart on the structure. Annoyed with him at how he was playing the personality of Batman with a comedic sarcasm and goofiness. This to me was meant to point out my unrealistic expectations of Chris as having the dark knight personality of Batman. Understandable. So why am I drawn to that persona? Is that the call of physical desire? That certainly is separate from my relationships. That is my imaginary companion Darian more than any living man that exists for me.

Analysis: I do not know what to make of that first sequence, hence why I finally wrote it down; its been lingering on my thoughts. What is going on here? Is this a past life experience? Am I channeling someone? What are all those stiff guards about? Who is this narrator that keeps guiding me? He talks directly into my ear, into my consciousness like God did in my old dream. It is a calming voice, very wise and caring. Whoever you are, I am ready for you to reveal yourself to me. Three times now I have heard you teach and guide me. Who are you? I am excited to know. Thank you for your direct communication into my dream self. Who is the young woman? Is the sister the blonde little girl I have seen twice already? Does she need my guidance? I would be glad to spend more direct time with her as well to understand who she is.

Arctic Conditions in California

Update Dec 19, 2013: This dream post was originally published early this year, and I since had a series of snow/blizzard related dreams and cues to prepare for cold (see here, here, here, and here). Then, this month, George Filer, Director of Mufon Eastern Region, reports "There is a mountain of data including already conducted experiments, satellite imagery, lab tests of snow, observations on the ground, and multiple existing patents,  all of which point solidly to the conclusion that snow storms are being engineered with well established weather modification processes." (From Filer's Files #50 2013) I am not privy the the 'mountain of data' Filer is aware of, so I must remain passively observant, but nevertheless I am intrigued that I may have been remote viewing planned storms. However, I'm more inclined to wonder neutrally, why would they be motivated to do so? Is this a war with weather, or is it one point on a timeline series of events that are being orchestrated to produce a particular global or cultural change?

Fluctuating Star, Part 2

Originally posted 1/23/13

Regarding the star I reported on seeing through my shitty telescope before, I met with a local astronomer who borrowed his museum's (where he works) impressive digital-movement-controlled-by-a-remote telescope to observe more clearly and closely one of the objects I have been wondering about.

I can spot it in the sky easily now, being as prominent as it is. I show him the video I am basing my search on of the Berlin star. He immediately states the movement through the colors effect could be resultant from the filmographer's use of a digital camera that tries to digitally clarify a zoomed in object. He suggested it was trying to clarify a few pixels of data, creating the shifting colors. I do understand what he is talking about, but the object in the videos show odd behavior for only being an attempt by the computer to clarify the twinkling light of this object. There are times it looks like a grey and oval target beneath the colors and apparent lines of energy fluctuation (an observation which I posted a comment about on one of those videos).

Outside, when I pointed out the star, he easily identified it to be Sirius, one of the closest star systems to us. In the telescope there was no color spectrum, just black and white spectrum (something about our eyes not being sensitive enough to see the colors because of the way the rods and cones in our eyes are). I didn't say anything, but subconsciously took note that it looked like a ring that quivered like it was on fire, which was an obvious effect of atmospheric disturbance of the light. But it stood rather stationary, not shape shifting as much as the Berlin object was, like I thought it would be.

This astronomer was matter of fact, little thought to question what the books and general knowledge says something is. I felt rather put off by his lack of imagination, his quickness to discount my theory. I asked him many questions. Unexpectedly, he mentioned the strange mist that was setting in the area and implied that jets are dropping chemicals on the populations affecting their minds. Chem trail conspiracy theory is what its referred to in this area, and I had not given it much thought. "Well one conspiracy theory to the other, you consider mine and I'll consider yours? Take a closer analysis of the videos and you tell me, based on your experience and knowledge if that object on those videos is just an effect of digital zooming." He laughed, but I got his attention. I also have pondered over his idea more considering if maybe chem trails are even to help pull people out of the illusion, rather than the ill-intent opposite theory. Regardless, it was the saving grace for showing me even someone committed to only the physical world of observances had a trace of imagining and wonder.

He and his girlfriend were not the most social people. They were content just playing on their computers; I felt like a distraction more than a guest. So I made my leave. [I brought him a good beer, and her juice, soup and tea because she was sick as reciprocity for letting me come over and see through the nice telescope].

In the car, expecting my disappointment to be borderline erupting, I sat in silence letting the natural workings of my mind sort of the contrary information that threatened my constantly wavering ability to believe. I tried to do so without forceful thought, just sat patiently separate from the process. The feelings were both there and right. Yes it is Sirius. Yes it is a portal. How can it be both? Was that miraculous comet coincidental, not meant to encourage me? Am I wanting too hard to find something tangible? [Without that comet I would not have given this much other thought, but the promise it brought gave the event of me spotting it first with my telescope the weight I needed to keep debating.] Both could be right. It could be a portal and Sirius. Oh. It could be a portal to Sirius. Makes sense that a wormhole would be in direct line of sight between point A and B. NASA already announced the existence of micro wormholes, so conceivably we could already have full-fledged ones to nearby stars.

In this case, all those bright twinkling ones I see at each corner could be to the nearest stars to Earth. We see the portals, but behind them are the stars astronomy says they are. Its a possibility.

Synchronistic Comment

That same day, after a year of no one ever responding, some random person replies to my comment on that video "you are right." That's it. He joined earlier this month, no activity, no profile or photo, just the username "godsees thinkaboutit". Maybe I am being paranoid thinking someone is monitoring my progress [can God get on the internet? Is he my stalker?], but it just felt too coincidental yet again that this day of all days when I was most on the fence after seeing the astronomer earlier that night, that someone would say "you are right." I wrote him a message asking for his identity, questioning whether he was simply stating his agreement that there does look like a portal, or that he knows from privileged knowledge that indeed it is a portal and was giving me confirmation.

The same thing happened when I posted about being in the area and suggesting it would be a perfect place for a crop circle when the Washington one appeared. Some guy with no information simply says "So it was you..." I again tried to question him but no reply came back that I was notified of.

[If anyone has any info on this user, please let me know.]

Even if it is a portal, what can I do with this information? My astronomer friend made it clear traditional astronomy wouldn't believe me. I have no proof; I have no technical expertise to find proof. Frankly there are other things I would prefer to explore. Anything further with this portal idea will have to come later in time.

Jan 21, 2013

Night of Jan 20th/21st 2013

Last night in a good state of mind I pondered aloud to the spirits many questions that have been on my mind:  is there an other dimensional parasite that feeds off human fear, anxiety and confusion; who am I; what is the portal, how many are there [perhaps its a grid network, because my observation has been there are four in my sky alone at every corner of the cardinals]; am I seeing alternate timelines or goals for this dimension to rise to the next, what are the remote viewing scenes, from past lives, channeling someone else's experience, training for missions on other worlds?

I also acknowledged to be seeing the things I do is a lonely experience when people around me want to disregard the possibilities I suggest and explain away what I see as not mysterious, thereby suggesting I am delusional, but in practice I am always expanding their scope of perspective and providing them advice and insight, so something is right on my end. I also acknowledged my confusion and fears associated with my relationship issue are hindering my continued ascension.

Dream: I'm tending a toddler that resembles an infant in how I am needing to treat him. He is not mine, but some older woman's who erupts into the room I am tending him in to tell me to get him ready, she wants to present him to the audience as the main attraction. She is demonstrating little concern for his needs. She seems greedy and is taking advantage of his attractiveness as a child, as if the audience rarely gets to see such young children. She doesn't care that he is tired. I grudgingly load him in a front carrier (back pack for the the front). I am trying to shield him as much as possible from the overstimulation and uncaring admiration of onlookers by putting a beanie hat on him and making him snuggled low in the carrier. He is covered head to toe in clothing. We are led to a lush auditorium with built in chairs fancy enough for an opera. We are seated in the back section of chairs to wait to be called to the backstage for setup. There are many other groups that are being called to stage. Is this not primarily for the child in my arms like she said it was? I have been wandering about outside the auditorium to keep Link (although he is not mine?) away from the noise. Fed up, I find her in the seats and whisper loudly to her, scolding her for not considering his time schedule that he will be fussy without his upcoming nap and it will be a disaster to expect him to be center staged. The audience will not witness an adorable toddler, but a cranky monster. She still sent me up. I had to obey, it was ultimately her child. But I was glad she knew how irresponsible this was.

I found a place backstage. Dozens of people with toddlers and older women sat in rows backstage waiting for the same thing Link's mother had sent him here for. He was not as special as she was making this event out to seem. A stage manager was coordinating groups of these people waiting backstage into more seats in descending rows onstage. My bundle miraculously was able to get some sleep because of this unexpected waiting period. She made it seem like he was the main event, but he was only a small part of the event. Suddenly from this perspective as well, the theatre was no longer lush and beautiful, but a plain gymnasium with a stage and fold out chairs. The audience didn't seem very interested, and their numbers were scattered and barely filled half the chairs available. This was not as highly an anticipated event for a public as his mother also made me believe.

Our turn, being part of the next row in sequence to move onstage. Persons here and there in the audience are leaving, having lost interest in such a long, bland program. My Aunt Joyce is saying a speech about select individuals she would like to mention. She describes me in ways I do not agree with and am confused why she saw me as she was describing, saying despite my faults (which didn't fit), I am still worthy of recognition. "I'm not like that." I thought, feeling cheated that she so pleasantly described those few others she pointed out with praise. "Is this really how people see me? How frustrating. Are my redeeming qualities not primarily what I exhibit?"

I took the child home with me, led to a beautiful house by Chris as my escort and partner, I assume. Annoyed with what was said about me, I asked for a second opinion from him. "That's ridiculous. I know you're not like that. You're caring and considerate." He was saying as he ushered me patiently into the door after climbing very narrow steps. Warm light filled the upper class construction and decor of this home. I knew he was speaking truthfully what he thought, and was reassured by his certainty in how he described me. I was also surprised that such love, and compassion, and patience was coming from this persona. My previous dream was pointing out my unrealistic expectations of who he has become. Really, the persona of him in this dream reminded me strongly of Jim. How funny. They are very similar in just the bits I am getting from him. [Reminder, we haven't seen each other in 6 years]. I would think that if I was seeking him as a romantic partner as comparison against Jim that I would be realizing all the dissimilarities. So what does it mean when I see them similarly and would feel so humbled and privileged to be in partnership with two wonderfully protective, caring, strong, confident men that provide such balance to my personality? I don't have the first clue how to handle this.

Ideally, to have them both would help me as a companion know that both loves of my life we tended to and given a living part of me. Link would have two fathers in a way. That's more finances and parental help toward his upbringing. I could bring love and health to both their lives. They could balance my needs between them both and keep me on my game of tending to theirs. The presence of one another would also encourage them both to keep in line as well. Ideally, I just see love and care all around, which raises our ability as a unit to affect positive change and nurturing for other family and friends that interact with us. But how can I possibly manage two relationships again? Would they be able to overcome their inclinations for jealousy and possessiveness for this to happen? I wonder. If we could accomplish it though, we would be a living example of the limitless boundaries of love and the possible openness with which humans can achieve dominant focus on qualities of trust, love, understanding, care for each other over selfish derivatives from the current standard of what constitutes an ideal human relationship. I just know that I would more freely love if I knew I didn't have to choose, that I could have connection and share my life with them both. I am reserved because I have been trying to determine a choice, and six years has proven to me that this is a choice I tried to make and stick to for fairness sake, but fairness, at least how I see it, would be if they could both have me. I can't split myself into two though, so this is the only compromise I see. It would be demanding on me, and require self-exploration for them, but it could work in theory. Otherwise, we never know what this soul connection between is and be haunted by it, and I would endlessly struggle to force myself to stay monogamous and ignore my love for Chris for Jim's sake. And what about family and friend interpretation.. ugh. One step at a time. For all we know, we could set a new standard. What a better way of exemplifying infinite love than with my own relationships. I value the idea of monogamy, and appreciate a one and only true love connection, but with vast love, it doesn't end at one for me. I have too much I want to share, and by fate came to love two men and want to share my heart, mind, body, and soul in whichever NOW I am in. I cannot combine them, it would not be a threesome in any given present. It would be a relationship with one and a relationship with the other. Would I still worry how the other is feeling? Would I be wreck worrying about if I am hurting either of them? Oh please show me the way.

Just a note: I am screening which dreams I record because there are so many fragments that are incomplete and not worth the time to record them. I have too many other responsibilities, I must prioritize.

Jan 19, 2013

Crafts and Thrift Stores #1

Early Morning of Jan 19th 2013

Dream: Looking up at the night sky I focus in on an object that doesn't resemble a plane shape. Dropping closer reveals it to be like the old fashioned Star Trek Enterprise ship. Thinking "what a nice way of introducing my family (who tend to have trouble adapting to change and fear any unknown that can be perceived as a threat) to the presence of other entities visiting Earth." I tell my those few members of my family that are on the wide balcony we are lounging in chairs on. I do not recognize this large house, nor understand how my family is able to afford living here being dirt poor as they are. When I turn back to the sky I see a larger object like a trapezoidal shape and darker shades, but still visible against the even color of the background night sky. Even further over, I observe the trapezoidal craft is heading toward a massive cube with soft corners and multiple shapes on its outside surface areas. This mothership takes up a quarter of the visible sky in the direction we are facing and is still not completely visible. We only see 2/3rds of the entire size of the ship as the rest of it falls away at the horizon line of the house and trees. Breathtaking and completely unexpected a ship of that size. It is a sight to behold, and quite intimidating. What power must it possess.

Something drops from the sky, a machine rolled in a ball that releases its momentum from the fall by bouncing low and rolling. I have the strange overlap that I pick up this puppy-like machine that is peeing in the wrong place. He's supposed to pee in a long dish and keeps missing. I am holding him up Lion King style looking at his little penis to figure out how it is a machine pees and what its member would look like, which was just like a puppy penis. I felt it was a machine, or artificial life, but it looked real with fur and skin and warmth. I was telling someone to be easy on it, and to just think of it like training a puppy. This scene pauses the previous sequence. And now continues the previous sequence. The balled machine opens up to produce two reverse bending long legs like a bird. The round center serves as its head. Grey and silver in color. Three toed feet. It was no more than three feet tall. It ignored us and went right into the house through an large open entry way from the balcony. I watch it, feeling a confusion of whether it is a device from a benevolent or malevolent force. I can't read it. Come to think of it, I couldn't read the triangular device in the portal from my other dream either and had similar back and forth internal debate as to whether it was good or bad. I couldn't read them because telepathy doesn't work with machines, only living beings that exist in the collective network.

Rather insistent to myself that it is good despite the uncertainty stirring my gut, it heads toward where my younger sister is out of my side around a corner in the house lecturing someone when suddenly her voice goes silent. A pause. I ponder the sudden silence hoping to hear her start talking again. What happened? Did it silence her? Is she okay? Did it capture her? Was I naive to assume it was friendly? I just let it stroll right through? Who sent it?

Perhaps the confusion about these mechanical devices followed up by me trying to tell my family they were sent by good beings is presumptuous. I need to be sure before vouching for whatever comes. This resists trust and faith and hope though. I'll know more clearly about living beings, but you are right I shouldn't jump to a conclusion about intent of machines I can't read. 

Next scene: Searching through a clothing thrift store for hours. Choosing shoe styles and clothing styles, a couple things for my older sister last minute when store announces it is closing. Hundreds of shoes laid out on area of floor near a full-length mirror and separated from the clothing by a tall shoe rack as a divider on one side. Shoe section is in back. Small store, dense with clothing and shoes. Looking for shiny or bright shoes that stand out. Store announced closing time, and my family tried to hurry me along. I kept looking, but more frantically to find a few last items. As I pushed the limit by avoiding their call to the front, the clothes seemed to be disappearing or being sucked out of my physical ability to touch and see them. It was spreading that the racks slowly exited into the background of the solid space I occupied, like a spell was being laid upon them, making them transparent and noncorporeal but still slightly visible. Great security system. I forgot my money and couldn't pay for all the items I found. Couldn't move back to the shoe section where I thought I left my money to find it because I would get caught in the security system spell be lain on everything surrounding the front counter. They instead comped me. I am shocked by such a kind gesture even though I kept the clerk and back guy there later than typical.

Analysis: Thrift store scenes are a common theme in my dreams. Apparently I still don't know what their presence is trying to convey. I thought it was to simply show a system where people recycle and reuse everything that is produced and wasteful mass producing stops. But there is repeatedly focus placed on a particular styles of clothing and ensemble outfits. What is important about the thrift stores? Why am I searching for a style? Am I assembling disguises? This would imply I am still doing missions where certain getups are helpful to portray myself a certain way. They are never disguises, they are only ever highlighting a few aspects of my wide array of personality types. Are you trying to tell me I need to be trying for a particular kind of dress? Have felt need to look unique and detailed in layers and colors. But why is this important other than to put me in a mindset that would give me the right attitude to execute a mission. Is it just important to me that I stick out as having my own style and appearing adventurous and down to Earth? Why is this important for me right now? Do you know of something that is predictably affecting my mood that would require I take steps to adjust my perception? A bout of doubt has overcome me today. Frustrating to keep trying to explain to people the theories I have come to and am exploring to just have them disregarded because they don't want to put forth any effort or faith that there might be something more there. I fear I am just delusional. But I know medication will only suppress the dreams and the paranoia and curious highs. Jim suggested I feel like Sarah Conner from Terminator, ending up in a mental hospital because no one would believe her when she said killing machines that look human are coming. I don't ever want to place hope over reason, but I also think any significant person in history had to be some amount of crazy to go against the grain and spend such time and energy into an as of yet undiscovered idea or achieved feat. But it is exhausting and lonely.

Clothing is a tool to encourage a desired state of mind; an aid to conjure a kind of attitude and perspective, I get that. But is there anything else you are trying to tell me with the recurrence of thrift stores? What about large warehouse stores with bulk, uniform, plain base goods? Is it coincidence that I see hints in art, games, media, that point to ideas I've found in my dreams? No one believes me, I barely believe the connections I see. What good is this information if I can't use it for any good? What good is prophecy if no one listens to it?

I am functioning on four hours sleep, I should turn in early tonight and stop trying to analyze in this state of mind.

Evidence of Portal

As promised, an update on what I have suspected to be more than stars in my skies. After months of trying to borrow, use, of buy a telescope, I settled for a cheap one to start with (Bushnell 18-1561) that I negotiated its owner down more than half its price because its magnification is so limited and its general construction its poor.

Took my family to the highest hill within a twenty mile radius to decrease the distance between my telescope and one of these star-like objects in the sky that shift colors more significantly than just twinkling, as everyone kept dismissing the color changes to be. Watching the Berlin videos (here, here, and here) many times led me to believe they were more than twinkling stars.

Had a lot of trouble getting the line of sight right because the telescope had poor stability and locking. But sure enough I managed to get preliminary observations that strongly resemble the Berlin star. It seemed to be in flux, changing through the spectrum of light and emitting a great deal more light than any other star its size. It's beautiful! The movement of the flux is like nothing I've ever seen. Looks magical.

I became giddy and whooped my victory after trying for so long to find the means and circumstances to be able to check my hypothesis for myself. "That is not a star!" I shouted. As I was celebrating in a gasping fit of inhaling laughter, a beautiful shooting star streaked in my field of vision (naked eye) just to the bottom right of the object and lingered as it dissipated as if to make sure I saw it. "Ahh!" I said in wonder, adding to the already ecstatic joy I felt. There are no meteor showers today. What a random event as a bonus pairing with what I had just found. It was as if something was saying "Congratulations! You found it."

I really needed this win today. My theory is that it's a portal.

Next, I plan on upgrading to a better telescope so I can see it more clearly and take video of it.

Jan 18, 2013

Exploring Multiple Dream Theories

These theories are based on the material of dreams I have had and heard from others so far in a wide-scale attempt to understand what our dreams are, why they occur, rather for what purposes they occur.

1) Life is a training ground for spirit agents (potentially us/humans). We are choosing our sides, determining who we are and where we stand on the grander universal spectrum of either service of others or service of self.

2) A way for some body or organization, either with good or selfish intentions, to identify ideal personalities for recruitment, either for activation in dreaming realm, or for eventual recruitment in physical realm. Choices in dreams and/or physical realm would be monitored for assessment of progress, ability, and stance. (Compare to #1)

3) Faith testing and development.

4) Product of leaks in current timeline from alternate timelines that have been reversed and manipulated again and again leaving trace memories in our souls that surface as dreams when significant events in those other realities coincide with the day or events that happened triggering the dream/memory.

5) Communication with other humans - producing the remote viewing or astral projection sense - with animals, aliens, divinity, spirits, dead relatives.

6) Tuning to thought waves, events, energies of past and present of anywhere and anyone in time and space (Compare to #5).

7) Means of implanting ideas into unsuspecting humans. The physical world being the only realm of existence is an illusion (Matrix) and in dreams the unaware soul of that body can be manipulated or influenced by spirit creatures that feed on fear, anxiety, confusion (parasites in this sense), or to help guide the individual toward wisdom, love, confidence - essentially their ascended self.

8) Subconscious self working to bring whole self to an enlightened state where physical, spiritual, psychological dimensions of self work in unity.

9) Some complex combination of all the above. Any particular dream, sequence, or scene is one or another of the available options.


Imagine a physical existence:
  • without fear, anxiety, panic, confusion
  • without poverty, famine, war, disease;
  • the answers to all our questions are achievable and accessible as quickly as we can think them
  • the system of paper money is obsolete and unnecessary
    • loans/mortgage/necessary debts are forgiven
  • travel is easy, non-harmful to the environment, and requires no other vehicle besides your body
  • humans default to love, trust, compassion, selflessness, moderation, service for one another
  • clean, renewable, free, unlimited every is available to all
  • tedious chores that monopolize our time are not-required
  • jobs and assignments draw on the individuals true passions, interests, preferred skills and abilities
  • everyone is equal and all basic necessities are freely available
  • educational and experiential opportunities are freely available
What if this kind of new living on Earth is possible soon, and being included simply requires faith in this kind of existence and a shift in how you live now toward this eventuality? With divine intervention, this supposedly will happen, according to light workers of the Galactic Federation and some proponents of Ancient Alien theory. Our challenge toward becoming multi-dimensional beings is to first believe their are other realms of existence we can perceive, and explore what these are that we have been blinded to.

Do you dream? Trick question, we all dream, most of us just don't remember them. You have a clear link to achieving this.

Jan 16, 2013

Device in Portal, and Self Re-evaluation as Partner

Summary: Message from unknown technological device through a portal to a crowd; personal test in fairness with my partner; granted awareness of a personality type better suited to my partner.

Night of Jan. 15/16th 2013

Dream: Come outside, there's something in the sky, someone shouts. We look up to the daytime sky to see a large triangular object with rounded points in sky, looking no more than a few hundred feet in the air. There are two layers of colored buttons or lights and a circular light (not a button) in the center with the two layers. The innermost set of colors there were six, and numerous ones on the outer layer. It was a three dimensional object, we could see the depth of the center light being further into the object than the layers the buttons were on. The outer colors were not in spectral order, they were random, and were variants on the bolder colors (pale blue, orange-yellow, cinnamon, forest green, mud green) I wanted to think the center colors then were bold, pure colors that we see on the rainbow wheel, but I believe they actually were of the same palette of the outer layer colors. The background base material surrounding the buttons was white with black peaking around sides and likely covering the back. The triangular device was pulsing light, like the object everyone called Uranus in a previous dream.

A small town's worth of people were out observing the object. Even though it was day, I feel a dark cloudiness surrounding it. Perhaps that occurred later. I moved positions so I could see the text appearing and deciphering itself as it was appearing in the air below the craft like subtitles. The text was 3D as well. When I saw the object from the side by moving to the left to see the text clearer, I could see the object was on the other side of this opening in the fabric of space where it hung. There was rippling on the backside of the portal opening and sides. Its buttons were lighting up like it was typing the words into the air or it was transmitting the message through the portal and our world was translating the signals into recognizable language. The text was neon, very bright. There was a voice speaking from it as well, but was too faint for me to hear it clearly, even though I was not that far away compared to the swarm of others. Someone from the house I came out of called to the last person still in the house who didn't want to see what the fuss was to come out. It was important. This appearance was important. People asked what is it? I said "It looks like a Simon say's kid toy" implying the colored shapes were buttons. I said it a couple times, as if that was a key observation to helping us understand what it was. I immediately thought 'branch colors.' [Ooh, could this have been my first real clue as to what branch White is in their higher system of workings? White in this image is supporting all the other branches, opposite black. The object itself was like a yin-yang symbol (but as two triangles put together). White balances the black? Black was space exploration though, so work in the physical realm. White is spiritual or mental, the balance of the physical, then?] I also wondered in the dream if this device or the voice was God. The feeling I got in answer was "Not quite."

Another element going on at this time is my partner and I bump into a reporter who was out there reporting before the text started to appear. She makes some silly joke with the kind of humor I find annoying, which Jim makes all the time. She laughed with such humility and glee. Jim turned to me smiling and said "I like her." He liked her sense of humor, that she laughed so easily. He looked at her again, and turned back. "I would like to see her." I look at him. "You mean see her like date her?" "Yeah, like date her. She's got a lot of energy, and I could use that kind of easy-going humor in my life." "He said he's let me decide after the event we were witnessing." I looked down into myself. He did have a right to if I would ask him to be alright with me seeing someone else. But for him, he honestly saw something in her that I didn't have and craved it in his life. I mulled over it. He does deserve to be with someone who appreciates all aspects of his sense of humor and how much it delights him to get someone else to laugh. That is how he feels connected to someone. And I have given him such. I need to admit that I am also wanting something that helps me feel connected that it simply not in his personality to provide the way I want it: relaxed sensuality, the need to touch and explore my body. But is someone like her going to be able to have deeply intellectual conversations with him? Is some other guy going to be silly and chill like I do enjoy about Jim? This was eye-opening. I'm not as hot stuff as I thought, at least not in terms of best compatibility for who he is. How egotistical of me to have assumed all this time I was a lucky catch for him. There of course is another personality whose silly humor would be closer to the surface when with him than mine is with him.

Later at a picnic table in a corner under the hotel second floor balcony, a cheap hotel, I am scrawling my thoughts onto a piece of paper. Jim arrives and sits "Uh-oh, you're writing, does that mean you decided not to let me see her?" "No, I just need to sort out my thoughts first." He was thinking I was planning a speech how to let him down. The dream was poking fun at the fact that I do this, saying its ridiculous that I have to plan out how to break bad news to him so I can make it so he'll be in agreement. In the end I decided to just tell him "You deserve to have someone like her in your life to make you happy. Yes, go ahead and see her." "Including being intimate with her?" "Yes, you can have sex with her if it leads to that, but please be safe." We intended to still be with each other, he was just be fair that if I open the relationship, he should have the freedom to see someone else as well. We would still have sex with each other though, our family (son and dog) remaining together and living together most of the time. Eesh, that is tough. The thought of them together having a great time, her being a more ideal partner to him than I have been just made me ashamed and depressed. She became the walking epitome of what I am not, a kind of beautiful I am not. It would keep me in-line more, as it would him to know I had a second relationship too. I'd have more composure to try to show him more positive sides of myself, and be glad to do it. How did I end being the unhappy wife whose beauty and infectious energy faded? ... struggling with the role of housewife and raising a kid is how. Wait, I am not like that. I am still damn sexy and interesting and saucy... but yes not as freely expressive with laughter as I would like to be. She was also in the public's eye, a traveling woman working in the adult world. Blech. Done.

Next scene I am walking down a dirt road with my son. I am caring for him alone while Jim is off on his date. I am sitting in a circle with a group of young women and children. They are teasing a friend of mine. I scold them "Hey, stop doing that, leave her be. Just because you don't understand her doesn't give you the right to abuse her." I am mentally preoccupied with coming to terms with my partner being with another woman at the moment having a blast. I do want him to be happy. That is important to me. When I focus on that, my resistance to jealousy and shame strengthens. I was thinking in the dream I'd love to see him with another woman if she could give him a moment of happiness. But would I actually find the pure connection - they randomly found - with my childhood friend? Is it worth all this confusion? Maybe not right now, no.

Next scene: Sitting in living room at my parents house with them. The media is replaying coverage of the devices caught speaking around the world everywhere outside, so people indoors would make sure to know about their presence. My mother was nervous, headed toward denial that this was happening. I reassured her with my thoughts that there was nothing to be afraid of, but it would happen with or without her readiness. That's a tough reality to face. Not for me. I was excited for the validity their appearance gave me. I silently relished that I was aware of their arrival before most others.

Next scene: Exploring cave-in of a broken street that collapsed into the underground sewer system. Some of my party are on vehicles with little cover (like an open-topped Jeep Wrangler). I am walking, helping my son down the rubble so I can get closer to exploring the lowest point of the cave-in. Flashlights shining around. We are searching for something, an item of sorts. Water is draining and leaking in from all sides. Very slick. This collapse happened a while ago, we are visiting it well after it happened. There is a sense of urgency by those in the vehicles for us to hurry up, that there was nothing there and we needed to move on.

Empathy with a Tiger

I did not receive any image of a flower or rock. I have two options now. I can either assume my questions are not actually being answered by my dreams, despite the evidence to the contrary with the many other times they have been, and I am just seeing answers where no deliberate, other consciousness influencing my dreams exists. OR, I am not asking the right questions, and thus not understanding the dreams surrounding the coming storm in the right context. In other words, there is truth and inaccuracy. We are like children to the spirit beings, I imagine. We complain we are hungry impatiently while our parents are preparing the meal. It does not help the parent to whine, so it does not help for me to ask questions not ready to be answered for me.

Night of Jan. 14th/15th 2013 
Dream,: Lying still and sleepily on a raised cushion by a large window that looks out on natural green scenery in a cabin that has elements of being a store or stopping place for visitors as well as being a place to relax. I am hugging a full-grown freaking tiger who is laying on the cushion with me staring out the window very peaceably. I am on my side wrapped against the tiger with an arm and leg over its body. It does not seem bothered by my closeness. It is sharing with me an experience, or through the power of something else, by touch, its experience is transferring to me for view.

While I am with the tiger, another vision overlaps my consciousness. I am merely an observer in this overlapping vision. A narrator speaks over the image. "The faction that splintered from the rest of the group wanted to engage in illicit sex..." A group of alien beings unlike anything I have ever seen before walk along a beautiful ocean shoreline of calm seas and a beautiful day. They are portrayed as undisciplined, rowdy. In appearance, they each looked differently. It was a group of different species or different races of the same species maybe. I just knew they were individuals and unique in their appearances. Skeletal armor-like skin, like an exoskeleton, not skin. Varying shades of blue with pale blue on the outermost ridges of skeleton and dark blue in the crevices. One creature had large shoulders protruding beyond its head. They stood upright. Both land and water capable. Seem athletic (consider alien being in "The Watch" movie). Eyes.. no pupil or white, just solid orbs without color, a greyish emptiness.

They are splashing around teasing one another as they head into the surf. "...and kill, and torment." An invisible cage releases a tiger at their command, the tiger I am hugging while I watch from a separate time and place. They are taunting the tiger. It struggles to keep above water, trying pitifully to find shore but is halted by a couple of them swimming through the water cutting it off by the constant movement, establishing a barrier that forces the tiger to turn back within reach of the others.

My perspective shifts back to my body hugging the tiger because I have built up such helpless empathy I had to verbalize my emotion with a whine. I am still, like I am in a meditative sleep [dream within a dream]. I feel such sadness that this creature I am embracing endured such torture. My perspective returns to the scene on the beach.

One of them has a long, dragon-like tail with sharp scythes at the end, and is slashing it at the tiger's back. They intend to kill it, but toy with it first for amusement. They are doing enough superficial damage it could die from blood loss.

Perspective again reverts back to me with the tiger because again of the release of built up helpless frustration at seeing this happen. The tiger remains silently looking out the window, perhaps unaware that this experience is being shared to me. I am offering my love and compassion to it with a snuggle closer into its fur. I am drawing comfort by being near it because I know I am helping to heal it. But to do so I had to witness the event of its abuse.

Again, back to the beach scene. I am feeling I am going to witness its death, that there is no escaping. Somehow though, perhaps with my thought, it does manage to escape in a random stroke of luck. This is very unclear. Perhaps I was spared the reality of seeing it die? But here it is beside me in the room. I nuzzle it and think "I am so sorry that such an awful thing happened to you. Please take my love. You are such an amazing creature for having survived that."

Two people who are my guides or guardians, dressed in hiking clothes and gear approach the window outside. The male says to his female companion "Didn't you tell her not to get too close to the tiger?" "Yes." She replies back as she catches up to him staring at us through the window. They were worried the tiger would be sensitive and lash out if someone tried to get as close as I was. I snuggled it even deeper privileged the tiger was allowing me to be this close because I was compassionate and willing to share the memory of its abuse.

[I asked a couple weeks ago one night why I dream of lizards, why had I never dreamed of non-domesticated animals? I see random people from my past, including those who are dead, old pets included. Where is my grandmother in all this? Why hadn't I seen her? ]

Next scene:  Temporary living with my grandma and aunt as guardians. We are traveling around together. Cabin we are staying at is for people passing through, but people can stay for extended periods of time. The place doesn't belong to us, but it feels like home. Best I can do to describe that feeling. Perhaps it's our time-share home while we are in that area. Nope, doesn't quite explain it.

I am loading the laundry into washer while conversing with my grandma who I sense to be talking about something she has opinions on which I do not agree with. I think she's being narrow-minded in her judgments, but I don't question her, just let her believe I agree with her. Her pushiness on the subject is however distracting me from my chore.

Analysis: People who were abused often fall into the same behavior patterns of their abuser. The use of the tiger was in part to convey the level of control and abuse of power the alien group had that a leading predator on our world today doesn't compare. What if, they were the original perpetrators of the cycle of abuse that continues to plague our world. Orca's toss their meal of seal pups out of the water in grotesque play, as do tigers even. A cat playing with a mouse. Could the tiger have learned to be cruel, bloodthirsty, taunting, predatorial by the original predators of our planet? The world was a pristine and beautiful place of harmony and peace, where even tigers were meek. The Bible says in the second coming the lion will lay down with the lamb and will no longer hunt or need meat to survive, but will eat grasses like the cow. How is this logically possible? What will Jesus do that will create this effect? Will the genes of cruelty and selfish amusement at the expense of another be wiped from our DNA? Is this possible? Are you saying animals were corrupted by this deviant group? Will we someday be able to sit amongst wild animals like I did? What an amazing idea to indulge in.

Did this deviant group originate from the oceans? Do they live in the oceans? Where were they from, how did they slip into evil doings? Are they Satan's followers? Or were these a different group that fell into the same abyss? Where are they now? Is there any animal representation of them on our world, like a kind of crustacean or insect? Do we have an animal that was derived from their DNA? Please be clear when this connection is made so I do not assume any animal in my dream is answer to this question when it really was showing something unrelated.

About the second part of the dream - My grandmother hasn't been a guide in my dreams because we would not agree on the issues I am asking to learn.

How to Dream Vividly?

I waste so much mental energy wondering about the lack of seriousness people would afford the dream experiences I have that I didn't notice those I talk to about them are genuinely curious about the phenomenon I am reporting on.

A neighbor expressed envy at having such intensely rich, story-oriented dreams as I do, and wished he could remember his in more detail. What if there are people who do wish they had the kind of awe-inspiring communication I do (even though I don't know for certain yet that it is that)? The thought had never crossed my mind. I always just felt the sad frustration that no one would believe. With alien encounters, ghost stories, UFO sitings, and other strange phenomena the experience at least happened in the same physical realm in which they would be reporting it to someone in. Dreams occur beyond this realm, and inlaid within it, but teetering on the borders of what most people are willing to explore or accept. So the credibility of such experiences is inherently limited.

But when I speak to someone in person, I do not realize I talk with such conviction and wonder about what is happening to me that the listener so casually . In the privacy of my mind, I struggle relentlessly with finding conviction and confident certainty, yet here I am asserting those qualities in discussing my dreams all the while wrestling with the anxiety that they think I'm a quack, that no on gives credence to dreams and won't start with yours.

There I was, though, confronted with the question "How can I dream more vividly, like you?" Whaaa?! Well... um.. you... um... I have no idea. I did stumble across one thing though. In the Book of Moroni, Chapter ten, a list is compiled of gifts provided directly from the Holy Spirit (for non-believers, just understand this to be the underlying force that helps to guide the course of humanity on a complex individual basis... I know, that doesn't help does it). The gifts, which might better be understand as innate predisposition to having, included: wisdom, knowledge (information, facts, events), interpretation of many languages, prophecy, beholding of angels and spirit beings, healing, performing miracles, and a couple others I think.

Even though the grass is always greener- my dreams have frustrated me. If they are divine communication, why not just send me a messenger, why all the cryptic metaphors? I have requested a physical manifestation in the form of a messenger more times than I can count. And the best I've ever received are a crop circle, grid marks on my palms, a UFO siting, and a dream talking to a light being claiming to be God. Now, I should be fairly happy with just those in and of themselves, right? But my problem, like always, is certainty. Physical, undeniable evidence of who or what is trying to communicate with me. I suppose the problem could be that if millions of spirit beings, humans, animals, and aliens across all time and space have an open link to me, than it would be rather difficult to cram them all into my little house. But just one representative?

I have since just accepted that it is too dangerous for them to show up in this realm right now, and that ultimately it does not help me establish faith. Some people's gift it is to behold angels and spirit beings, for me I only do in dream experience, which may still be more than most get at all. I'm just not sure what my gift really is. I don't know that its healing, or prophecy, or what? Perhaps interpretation or knowledge and wisdom... that makes sense to a degree. I wish it was prophecy or healing, and my dreams do have hints of those, but I am not convinced yet of either, perhaps because i am still learning to unlock those.

How does one vivid dream? Active stimulation of a certain area of the brain, to be detached and uninvolved in the causing of vivid dreams, is one answer. Another is maybe your gift lies elsewhere.

Dreams as Transmitted Communication

 (Continued exploration based on Jan. 15/16th dream)

There is a disconnect between the Fifth dimensional perception of the brain and the two dimensional descriptive limitations of verbal speech. When I dream about a virus for instance, as in Jan. 15/16th dream, you may analyze this in context of findings patterns and say that the recent mention of a mind virus from the game I played and wrote about "Ingress" was the implanted idea that created the use of a virus in my dream. But when I experience a dream, there are knowings built into the scenes I am being shown. And I phrase it like that "being shown" on purpose. The supposed random firings taking tidbits of data and somehow molding it into a complex experience of visuals, multi-perceptive scenes (or scenes overlapping and being experienced simultaneously by my single perception), all physical senses (taste, touch, sound, smell, sight), traversing seamlessly in time and space (having an experience to represent the transitioning between scenes, not just a black in and out, but a fluid motion back and forth like a fast forward through light that whizzes by and is experienced while in a state of half consciousness, so I do not linger there seeing and fully experiencing the travel through light, it feels more like how you might perceive the physical world around you when you are in a meditative state. That being said, understand the contrast I am making between the vivid dream experiences and how we label dreams as being experienced in half-consciousness. Dreams like mine are deeper, more complete experiences engaging the mind's eye in feeling and sensation and thought just as real-like as the physical world is felt to the waking body. What a irony. Our minds are what run this body, this physical world, is it not logical that we would take experience of the mind more seriously? It engages the body with sensation, but as a secondary system of experience with thought, time, knowing, planning, organizing, emotion, empathy, learning as the primary area of experiencing. In our physical 3D universe, the sensations of the body run primary, with the mind secondary. This is a contradiction because the mind is essential for interpreting and managing the experiences of the body. The mass we call our brain is not the entirety of our consciousness, it is merely a vessel still for the soul workings to enter and effect this physical realm. There is a whole other realm of experience we visit every night.

Now imagine how difficult it must be for purely spirit energy beings to puncture through the veil of this physical realm and be seen in the limited spectrum by which humans can see. They are no more than wind to us, a constant tornado encompassing the world as the underlying network of calculations. What if fate, luck, karma, the workings of the universe are all calculations where each volt of electricity that carries a piece of information for the calculation to be completed is a living spirit? The complex setup of circumstances designed to present challenges we each need to develop are put in place by millions of spirit workers. How wrong we are to ever assume we were alone.

Language is a rudimentary form of communication, it is usually ineffective and inefficient. In the dream world thoughts are transferred between individuals like waves, received and recognized as being someone else's, not created from oneself. It is a free exchange of information and feeling. The link between all persons in the dream world is so taut that language is not necessary except to emphasize, or clarify when a soul living mainly on the physical plane has trouble sifting through the interference of barriers created by living in a plane where doubt and fear run rampant. Answers are provided within the experience as soon as they are asked if there is someone present to provide one. The trouble is trusting who is providing that answer. Evil is still evil, it cannot hide from the heightened abilities of our dream selves, unless you give them validation in their seeds of doubt and uncertainty. If we are seeking answers, we need only trust the right answer will be provided and it will. So easy right? If only seeing through our fear and confusion calmly were so easy. Calm trust, along with  excited curiosity, really are the keys here to opening the way to the knowledge we seek.

The connection of "Oh well you talked about a virus from a game before and so that must be the material that created your dream" is based on two problems: 1) that because an idea is seen elsewhere in reality it cannot be truly inspired or have any prophetic or profound meaning in the real world (also assuming the physical world is separate from the realm of thought and imaginings), and 2) that verbal words can capture and thus connect the complexity of the experience of dreams. On the second note, the word virus can mean many things: a computer virus, a metaphorical virus of a society, a bodily virus; and each of these can be broken down into many subcategories. In the dream world, everything has its own fingerprint, which words will never be able to accurately represent the multitudinal coding of. When I see or hear 'virus' in a dream, it is more like I am receiving a unique mathematical code associated only to that particularly virus and surrounding circumstances. Each image complete with the feelings, happenings, thoughts, intentions of the people involved is experienced like a unique mathematical code. In a sense, my consciousness is a receiver, like on a television or radio, that pulls a string of codes on a frequency from the air that was transmitted to it, or is always available in the air, and translates it into the experience we call dreaming. How does a phone work? You call someone, sending your voice out into the air to a tower and switchboard that relays it to the phone ID which you are calling. Now do this without the devices. This is what dreaming is. Dreaming is communication. And dream transmission messages have got to be one of the most complex and dense of all wave transmissions. Communicating with whom or what, is a puzzle. Divinity? Aliens? Each other, human to human sharing experiences by simply picking up on the experience waves the other puts out constantly? Our inner selves? Maybe all the above. Number one similarity of all alien/craft encounter experiences is telepathic communication. At the very least, just by reading the thousands of testimonies of personal encounters, we can conclude scientifically advanced species are also communicatively more developed. An eventual step for humanity is the telepathic abilities we are given clues to in our dreams!

Back to beginning - was the virus mentioned in the Jan 15/16 dream derived or expanding upon the mind virus of the "Ingress" game? Not that I felt. There was a physical component and a showing of sores on the arms, as I have seen before in a previous dream. It was a virus affecting the physical body, and again like the other dream, it had the attributes of a retro-virus: fast incubation, wide spreading, death of host in a matter of hours. A terrorist attack, more likely. The person was the human version of one of the dark aliens I saw in Jan 14/15's dream. This was a continuation of the story from that dream. Episodic dreams with coss-over story? That's a new one.

Jan 15, 2013

Night of Jan 13/14th 2013

Finally got a telescope today! There are abnormally large twinkling stars at each corner of the sky in my area that I have been aching to investigate closer up. My channel friend Beth released a book about the Stargates all around Earth. Witnesses have reported 'star-like objects' in sky in Oregon that are not really stars on MUFON website. Are these fast shifting colored objects (cycling between red, green, blue, white) portals like the 'star' videoed in Berlin many times (find on YouTube)? Maybe now I can find out for myself. Will let you know what I find, if anything at all.

Dream: In an enclosed school-like facility complete with a cafeteria, and living quarters. Recognize teachers as authority, giving clue this is a school. Other students are around my age. At one point I am coordinating plans with various friends. I see Jim and we talk. I am shocked that he has many piercings. I ask about his piercings (some seven I counted) knowing where they were around his body without directly seeing them all. I am confused because I recognize him as someone who would never have gotten one piercing. What changed so that he got many? He looked very rebellious. [Where am I? What is this reality?] Some of the other students seem naive to me, young and being manipulated by this schooling system. Why do I feel this way? The facility seems to have their best interests in mind.

The majority of the latter half of the dream I am running from security. I have disobeyed the authority of the institution by trying to organize a resistance movement. It is late. Everyone else has gone to bed, the cafeteria is closed down. Lights are minimal, chairs are up. I was meeting someone when we were caught and had to run. Someone else is running with me. I hide in a locker or a stall by the cafeteria. Feel like a child avoiding punishment from her parents. Teacher opens the locker to find me. I am caught. She is disappointed and I know it, but I feel I had to work against her wishes. Feel a rush of adrenaline and determination to continue to pursue my mission. Burst out of the locker into a run, out the door. Students a couple years higher up than me acting as security try to dissuade me by pretending to include me in a frizbee game. I push the trick aside, grab the frizbee and send it right back. They continue by saying "Hey she's good. I want her on my team. You should play with us?" I continue on my goal to get out. The facility is surrounded by fencing with that same spiral barbed wire that I saw in previous fleeing dream. Why is a school fenced like a prison? That is quite poetic. We are imprisoned by what we were taught.

I escape, or believe I have. I never jumped the fence, the scene just blended into being on the outside. I Run into a resistance group leaving a diner. A black guy in urban clothes (like he's wearing everything he owns) asks me what I'm running from. I join him. He offers to feed me and hear what I know. He speaks on my behalf to the rest of his group, telling them to welcome me. Some of them seem hardened and not quick to earn their trust. He serves as a link to the rest of these people. [Who are these resistance people? This really confuses which side is resistance. The idea of resistance can be used to describe either side really. Those resisting the change to the illusion, and those resisting the illusion. What specifically did I believe warranted my resistance and escape from the school?]

The ocean or lake walking along the shore. Debris and flooding scattered on shore. Hopping from debris to debris just to maneuver the area. People are searching the debris for lost items, salvaging what they can find. Something odd in the water (no visual, just a feeling when searching off a fallen plank or part of a house), a valuable item. Someone asks what was over there. Nothing. I dismiss it as having been useless. But it could have been important and I would return for it later. Someone I feel to be my mother (but not my waking life mother) is panning the area with me to search.

While exploring a waterlogged area of fallen .. well I dont know what kind of plants they were. Cross between kelp and trees, large, that float on the water, bushy in areas. Hopping through the dense clusters by stepping on the trunks floating on their sides. Group of us are scattered around searching the forest in the water. Feel sense of danger lurking in the water. Something large with tendrils. Someone important to me went to explore another section of foliage and has disappeared in the water. I rush to locate them and feel the presence, or fear of a presence, in the water.

I have not made focused questions for my dream guides to answer, and thus my dreams have been more elusive to analyze any meaning. I recall scenes and feelings but not the purpose as I used to. I am not deterred by this because I know I have been sort of riding a calmness the last few days in my spirituality. But for the purpose of utilizing this gift as much as I can, if it could help, I will reestablish a focus of questions I wish answered. And one I am dying to know but have been nervous to ask: What will happen to those who resist the changes, who wish to keep the status quo, like my partner, who don't necessarily have poor intention, but are rather content in their own established place of familiarizing with the system? Will he be able to acknowledge the benefits of intervention? Many people will resist out of fear of deception (as I maintain to still be a possibility, but lean toward trusting in hope that those who are infiltrating the system for the benefit of us all are doing so without some dubious plan). Do you galactic beings have a plan for helping them see the light? I believe many of them are good people who believe they would be doing what they feel is best for humanity because they lack the knowledge of what is really happening, our history, and our purpose. What I am asking, is please help them to find the love and logic in what you and all light workers are doing. Help them to separate those parasites of evil that creep into the truth and distort the nature of love and your work.

Who is writing this? This is not me. I do not write like this. Somewhere along the line did I develop conviction, that which I have sought so determinedly my whole life?

Let's try an experiment I have only done once before. Implanted images for verification of messages received. I am thinking of two objects I have never before seen in my dreams to represent two opposites. Dream guides, if indeed you are showing me predictions of a future flooding event in the Western coastal United States, show me a clear image of a lovely, warm flower in my next dream. If I am misinterpreting the dreams which I have believed to be predictions of flooding, please show me a clear image of a cold, lonely rock to represent absence of life in the idea. You reader may wonder why I would choose a nice image to represent such a seemingly disastrous prediction, but indications said the changes would be worth celebrating (which is still unclear yet, but I do believe it will be a signal of good things to come), so the nice image is simply an affirmation of right. Like a hot or cold game. Sometimes playing with my dream world experiences is fun. Usually I wake up a little more unnerved or confused than I hope for, though. Constant open-mindedness for truth can be harsh.

Update: Ring of Fire is showing increased activity. Could this be prelude to disastrous events coming?
Update: Mangroves! Those tree-like plants with tentacles in a shallow water of about 3 ft deep were mangroves. I didn't know how to describe them before I saw them in a nature documentary about water and the destruction of mangroves on the Gulf Coast. I have had a dream before where I was running at night through what felt like a swamp but didn't look like a swamp as I understood one to be. There were large green trees and pools of water in divets from raised paths of green grass. Night and lanterns of blue light hanging in the air were dispersed around the maze of grass paths through trees and around natural pools. I was coming from a tavern with back room gambling that turned sour and was chased out of the bar.