Jan 19, 2013

Crafts and Thrift Stores #1

Early Morning of Jan 19th 2013

Dream: Looking up at the night sky I focus in on an object that doesn't resemble a plane shape. Dropping closer reveals it to be like the old fashioned Star Trek Enterprise ship. Thinking "what a nice way of introducing my family (who tend to have trouble adapting to change and fear any unknown that can be perceived as a threat) to the presence of other entities visiting Earth." I tell my those few members of my family that are on the wide balcony we are lounging in chairs on. I do not recognize this large house, nor understand how my family is able to afford living here being dirt poor as they are. When I turn back to the sky I see a larger object like a trapezoidal shape and darker shades, but still visible against the even color of the background night sky. Even further over, I observe the trapezoidal craft is heading toward a massive cube with soft corners and multiple shapes on its outside surface areas. This mothership takes up a quarter of the visible sky in the direction we are facing and is still not completely visible. We only see 2/3rds of the entire size of the ship as the rest of it falls away at the horizon line of the house and trees. Breathtaking and completely unexpected a ship of that size. It is a sight to behold, and quite intimidating. What power must it possess.

Something drops from the sky, a machine rolled in a ball that releases its momentum from the fall by bouncing low and rolling. I have the strange overlap that I pick up this puppy-like machine that is peeing in the wrong place. He's supposed to pee in a long dish and keeps missing. I am holding him up Lion King style looking at his little penis to figure out how it is a machine pees and what its member would look like, which was just like a puppy penis. I felt it was a machine, or artificial life, but it looked real with fur and skin and warmth. I was telling someone to be easy on it, and to just think of it like training a puppy. This scene pauses the previous sequence. And now continues the previous sequence. The balled machine opens up to produce two reverse bending long legs like a bird. The round center serves as its head. Grey and silver in color. Three toed feet. It was no more than three feet tall. It ignored us and went right into the house through an large open entry way from the balcony. I watch it, feeling a confusion of whether it is a device from a benevolent or malevolent force. I can't read it. Come to think of it, I couldn't read the triangular device in the portal from my other dream either and had similar back and forth internal debate as to whether it was good or bad. I couldn't read them because telepathy doesn't work with machines, only living beings that exist in the collective network.

Rather insistent to myself that it is good despite the uncertainty stirring my gut, it heads toward where my younger sister is out of my side around a corner in the house lecturing someone when suddenly her voice goes silent. A pause. I ponder the sudden silence hoping to hear her start talking again. What happened? Did it silence her? Is she okay? Did it capture her? Was I naive to assume it was friendly? I just let it stroll right through? Who sent it?

Perhaps the confusion about these mechanical devices followed up by me trying to tell my family they were sent by good beings is presumptuous. I need to be sure before vouching for whatever comes. This resists trust and faith and hope though. I'll know more clearly about living beings, but you are right I shouldn't jump to a conclusion about intent of machines I can't read. 

Next scene: Searching through a clothing thrift store for hours. Choosing shoe styles and clothing styles, a couple things for my older sister last minute when store announces it is closing. Hundreds of shoes laid out on area of floor near a full-length mirror and separated from the clothing by a tall shoe rack as a divider on one side. Shoe section is in back. Small store, dense with clothing and shoes. Looking for shiny or bright shoes that stand out. Store announced closing time, and my family tried to hurry me along. I kept looking, but more frantically to find a few last items. As I pushed the limit by avoiding their call to the front, the clothes seemed to be disappearing or being sucked out of my physical ability to touch and see them. It was spreading that the racks slowly exited into the background of the solid space I occupied, like a spell was being laid upon them, making them transparent and noncorporeal but still slightly visible. Great security system. I forgot my money and couldn't pay for all the items I found. Couldn't move back to the shoe section where I thought I left my money to find it because I would get caught in the security system spell be lain on everything surrounding the front counter. They instead comped me. I am shocked by such a kind gesture even though I kept the clerk and back guy there later than typical.

Analysis: Thrift store scenes are a common theme in my dreams. Apparently I still don't know what their presence is trying to convey. I thought it was to simply show a system where people recycle and reuse everything that is produced and wasteful mass producing stops. But there is repeatedly focus placed on a particular styles of clothing and ensemble outfits. What is important about the thrift stores? Why am I searching for a style? Am I assembling disguises? This would imply I am still doing missions where certain getups are helpful to portray myself a certain way. They are never disguises, they are only ever highlighting a few aspects of my wide array of personality types. Are you trying to tell me I need to be trying for a particular kind of dress? Have felt need to look unique and detailed in layers and colors. But why is this important other than to put me in a mindset that would give me the right attitude to execute a mission. Is it just important to me that I stick out as having my own style and appearing adventurous and down to Earth? Why is this important for me right now? Do you know of something that is predictably affecting my mood that would require I take steps to adjust my perception? A bout of doubt has overcome me today. Frustrating to keep trying to explain to people the theories I have come to and am exploring to just have them disregarded because they don't want to put forth any effort or faith that there might be something more there. I fear I am just delusional. But I know medication will only suppress the dreams and the paranoia and curious highs. Jim suggested I feel like Sarah Conner from Terminator, ending up in a mental hospital because no one would believe her when she said killing machines that look human are coming. I don't ever want to place hope over reason, but I also think any significant person in history had to be some amount of crazy to go against the grain and spend such time and energy into an as of yet undiscovered idea or achieved feat. But it is exhausting and lonely.

Clothing is a tool to encourage a desired state of mind; an aid to conjure a kind of attitude and perspective, I get that. But is there anything else you are trying to tell me with the recurrence of thrift stores? What about large warehouse stores with bulk, uniform, plain base goods? Is it coincidence that I see hints in art, games, media, that point to ideas I've found in my dreams? No one believes me, I barely believe the connections I see. What good is this information if I can't use it for any good? What good is prophecy if no one listens to it?

I am functioning on four hours sleep, I should turn in early tonight and stop trying to analyze in this state of mind.

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