Jan 30, 2013


Night and Day of Jan. 29/30th 2013

Sick most of this night and day with lots of forced rest allowing many cycles for dreams.

Dreams: Running around an outside play structure. Feel the thrill of play like a child, but engaging in more adult kind of goal. Sparring game of elimination. Objective is to be the last one standing. Started off playing swords with different lengths of wood rods, not round, maybe hexagonal, cleanly made (no splinters or superficial irregularities), light tan color. Couple of us are showing off with them, pretending they are swords. Me and many guys my age are participating. We created the game after finding the rods. Quickly becomes a seek and destroy game. I strangle one, stab another, shuriken another (don't really kill, just imitate the moves and the kill is declared), duck in and out of the structure. I climb around acrobatically, swiftly. I try not to be seen by the other players pursuing. I choose carefully when to run, when to strike, all with a confidence that I have a wider array of skills and resourcefulness. I use the structure as cover and to confuse my opponent males who cannot as easily maneuver in and out, up and down the structure as I can. Down to one other. Had to climb away. Don't let him see I had just finished off the last person he was stumbling onto the scene of, so he is made to feel nervous that I could already be nearby watching and preparing to strike. A few of our friends who didn't think they had the skills to participate are standing on the sides of the play area (bark dust ground) to watch and cheer and cast insults. I am doing very well. My last challenger will be difficult. He is the best. He did spot me, I had to keep moving through the structure, down onto the ground. I ditched my weapons with each kill. Didn't pick up another one yet. Being hot on me, I reacted using my fear to drive me to climb up two ropes of thick chains (once held up a tire swing perhaps). He wouldn't be able to climb after me. The people on the sidelines awed at my surprising strength for my seemingly limited muscle. Now I'm up here, how do I win? I can't come down, he is a burly guy with a sword waiting for me. I act quickly, rocking the chains back and forth to swing at him. The heavy ends knock him down. Based on our world physics, I don't know that that should have worked, but they reacted to my imaginings. I imagined the chains to be controllable enough for me to whip them fast enough toward him that he doesn't have time to react before they are right on top of him.

I find this phenomenon quite a bit in testing scenarios in my dreams, where the circumstances seem influenced or manipulated by my will. If I can imagine a particular outcome as the event is occurring, it will likely happen as I decide it too. This suggests again that consciousness does create. I want to know how much it is creating though, and how much is it just reacting to presented problems.

There is some cause for me to vouch for my abilites "You've seen what I can do, you've seen my skills are superior that I could have beat them all myself."

Next scene:  Rehearsing for choir. I have three folders; my music is separated between the different groups I'm in by color. 'How smart' I think to myself that I had organized them. Didn't remember doing that though, became apparent as I looked through each folder and the answer was provided to me. Which folder is the group I'm sitting with now? Still singing even though I don't have the music in front of me. Pay such close attention that I had practically memorized our pieces already. Need me to take notes and parts where that section is having trouble. I am depended upon as someone who is versatile who can do the difficult parts or where there aren't enough people to take and do them on my own. I can help others out as well, even if just for a few run-throughs until they get their part better. I enjoy my role, I feel valuable to the group and to the director. [This may have been the message my choir dreams were trying to get across to me, which I wasn't getting, and so have been repeated.]

Was doing something outside the class for a moment [where was I?]. Upon returning, director is standing outside away from class for a moment and asks to talk. He is having trouble and is feeling low in his abilities. I give him praise and reassurance.  He is pleased and uplifted by my words. He thanks me sincerely and with humility. I encourage him back to the class. I say I had to do something before returning, which he understood, some other duty I had to perform. I was looking for something. As he was about to return I jumped the opportunity to ask for his help in my search. I felt slightly manipulative that I asked a favor for my kindness, like it had a price, but I decided to utilize it nonetheless. He might have an item I saw on his desk, perhaps a file or paper that I needed to help my mission elsewhere in the school. He agreed and brought me in. I followed him up to his desk. The other students were curious why I was being allowed special privilege out of class. I suddenly become aware that I am clutching my chest because I am not wearing a top. My top half is exposed. Embarrassed I make sure I am covering my breasts up completely, but still feel I have a reasonable excuse that they should respect because of the other duties I take on. I explain away that I am half naked by saying "You saw what I was doing out there, I worked my ass off." Referring to my war game, I think. Somehow that made me lose my shirt? I was merely stating that to maintain my integrity in their eyes. I didn't really care too much though and figured they might not understand but they would still respect my unique situation. The teacher retrieved the item for me and I left. Someone else was with me. We were walking. I had to use the restroom before we went on. I directed us down the main hall, knowing this building layout better than my companion because it was my old elementary school.

In the bathroom was another female student (college age, like we all were). She was rather talkative. I sat to potty. The entire back wall behind the stalls was a black transparency looking into a dining area. People were sitting at tables eating like a restaurant. How odd. They could see anyone who used this facility going to the bathroom. Why are they there? I looked again to see two types of creatures, a bipedal deformed type with large eyes, unattractive in appearance, and a hairy one I couldn't distinguish as having any features except limbs. They had been in the parallel dimensional building behind this bathroom for a long while. The gal was going to leave but was forgetting something that fell out of her bag when she accidentally dropped it earlier near my stall. One of the prisoners behind the transparent black wall came into my field of vision through the stall in my realm to pick up the item she had dropped and give it to her saying she almost forgot it. He then retreated back to an ajar gate overlapping the dimension, where I sat in the bathroom, off to my back left. I should have seen the walls of my stall, but was actually seeing a gate in line with the back wall where the beings were looking through. The gal expressed disgust about the creature that helped her. I scolded her saying they are living beings too and deserve equal treatment. She shouldn't assume why they were there. I finished and needed to pull my pants back up. I accepted that they would just end up seeing my tush, stood and pulled up my pants without much humiliation. I just told myself I had a nice tush that I shouldn't be embarrassed about. Who knows how many beings could see through that wall.

The wall separating these two dimensions was like the see-through side of a one-way mirror, but without the mirror on the other side since they did interact with us and thus proved they were watching. They could go through their gate, so it wasn't a prison as I wondered. It was a gateway that generally is left closed but can be opened. Why were they watching such a private area? People would not react kindly to them, I imagine was part of that message with the other gal. I, myself might have some amount of fear, but never the kind of reaction she showed. I would be curious if I could overcome my fear of harm to myself and uncertainty of the creature's intent. So you can see through walls then. I figured. We don't really have privacy and that would certainly unnerve people. I don't mind. As long as you study us with good intention and no desire to hurt us, I don't mind. What are you studying us for? Just general information or more specific things? Would you introduce yourselves to me more directly in my next dreams? What is your relationships with any of the other beings I have been contacted by? Heheh. Why are you so hairy? Body temperature regulation?

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