The mind is a receiver, tuning to a station is simply a matter of thought. Ideas, desires, emotions all have charge that attract information. Although I cannot anticipate what I will dream about or why ideas I had thought about recently formed the story of images they did to depict themselves, I have managed to have an increased awareness and bleed through of my waking personality and thought processes during dreaming. I'm able to question the choices of the dream's programming while in the dream as my avatar self.
Dream Night of Nov. 28/29th 2013
Alone in a house that is mine. A group that lives on the outside, moving town to town, is in my area. Their leader is a man I'm trying to avoid. He likes to torment me by invading my home, show little regard for its cleanliness, and indulge himself sexually in our tense attraction. I try to keep him out, not wanting to succumb to him. He comes in uninvited, using my place as a rest stop for his group.
Knowing came around that he was in the area again. I lock up my doors and windows and gates. As I'm setting the last gate, I see him through a crack in the wood panels. He pushes it open, and I relent. He knows I'm here now and I can't stop him from coming in. My effort to keep him out offended him. I was upfront explaining why I didn't want him here, that he disrespects my home, and tempts me away from my partner. "I love my family, I need to protect us." I say to him. He takes one look into my house and sees the baby gear everywhere. His mood changes. He becomes reserved and insists he'll leave us alone.
What a shock. That's unlike him. Why would he be so willing to ignore another chance to abuse his power over me? He leaves through the gate, showing me a glance of a beautiful dark-haired woman lain on a bed in a white dress in the initial throws of labor. I push the gate open with sparked interest. He has a pregnant woman in his band this time around, either one of his or someone he picked up. I walk directly to her with a strength of conviction. Someone in the group points me out to the leader. He looks up in surprise and displeasure. "Wait, no. What are you doing? I don't want your help." He says to me. I don't listen, I go to the woman who hasn't quite started the birthing process, but will soon. "She needs someone who knows about birth, which none of you do. I have the right setup for her with all the baby stuff already. There is no where better for her to be." I direct them to take her in.
Showing posts with label consciousness creates. Show all posts
Showing posts with label consciousness creates. Show all posts
Aug 19, 2013
Learning to Fly
After the dream challenge when I was encouraged to jump off a waterfall into a thin river below, I began to re-evaluate just how strong my faith in my imagination and courage to enjoy creating the things I want to see and experience is in my dream state. Why didn't I trust how consciousness works with dream physics to fly, or adjust as I descended to landing in the water? This should have been an obvious possibility for my level (I refer to my skills in dream dynamics and spirit communication and attributes of my person in real life like I am playing a game, more entertaining and uplifting that way). Fear still has power over me. Determining the complex inter-relationships between dreaming and the solid matter world continue to fascinate and evade me. Small victories retain my hope that there is such an intimate relationship of affect and effect between the two worlds. If there is a delay in the magnetic attraction between a question and answer, what someone requests in honest need then receives in the solid state world, how do acts that defy solid state laws of physics translate from the infinite possibilities of the flowing energy state? How can flight become possible?
Aug 10, 2013
Why are we being Harrassed by Unknown Visitors?
The contact whose case study I posted about in the Red Grid Marks Phenomenon, "Michael", the alias I've assigned him, continues to have levitation and probing experiences at night by a visiting presence. We chat via email or Skype semi-regularly to check in on any progress he's made at changing the dynamics of these experiences that illicit dread and terror in his consciousness. (To read about Michael's case study, see the links for Case Study #1 listed on the Investigations page under the 'Red Grid Marks' heading.)
Discussing with someone the reality of these night-time experiences and the accompanying feelings he unwittingly hides from his everyday relationships has seen minor progress in the level of control he has during the events. Most importantly, he has found a voice to be able to question and speak to his offenders. Our goal together is to determine why it is happening to him, given that this might also provide clues as to the grid marks that appeared on us both, as well as enhance his ability to affect in the unconscious state: comparable to having direct affect in the content or direction of ones dreams, though his experiences are "half awake, half asleep".
Discussing with someone the reality of these night-time experiences and the accompanying feelings he unwittingly hides from his everyday relationships has seen minor progress in the level of control he has during the events. Most importantly, he has found a voice to be able to question and speak to his offenders. Our goal together is to determine why it is happening to him, given that this might also provide clues as to the grid marks that appeared on us both, as well as enhance his ability to affect in the unconscious state: comparable to having direct affect in the content or direction of ones dreams, though his experiences are "half awake, half asleep".
Jun 24, 2013
Red Marks Cases - "Michael" Testimonial #1, Part 2 with Latest Theory
Summary: psychological factors; abduction dreams; similarity between us in UFO dreams; family history of abduction; trouble in bringing self and outside world to acknowledge the real effects these experiences have on the individual's sense of safety and control over their own consciousness; empowering the mind to regain control as a participant thru fair dialogue, if not purge itself of the negative source; marks as clues to our ability to manifest physical effect?
The following is continuing email interview with "Michael" dated May 20, 2013:
(Continued from Part 1)
"I flared up,
felt angry and resistant at this intrusion. I had the sense that the
entity was showing me that nothing much had changed. Almost like they
had a handle on my primal emotions or I didn't have control."
- alias 'Michael' on his attempt to reclaim control over his sleeping consciousness
(Continued from Part 1)
Jun 18, 2013
Power of Imagination, and The Ultimate Unknown
Summary: Week's worth of dreams -
Water/snow theme needing more investigation even after channeling discovery of it representing "same gene pool"; dark force mist invading my town and a test in the creative power of belief and imagination; thrift store theme, now toy store and a lead toward next Level up in spiritual abilities; stretching space and thick area effect like a black hole (portal?).
Water/snow theme needing more investigation even after channeling discovery of it representing "same gene pool"; dark force mist invading my town and a test in the creative power of belief and imagination; thrift store theme, now toy store and a lead toward next Level up in spiritual abilities; stretching space and thick area effect like a black hole (portal?).
Jun 9, 2013
Accepting My Skills and Favors
Summary: Standing out in new choir; New hire at primate facility; Motherly to a chimp toddler; Ethical dilemma on caging animals leads to a recognizably self-generated scene of helping release a pregnant gorilla; Distinction made between dream content and sequence assembled by outside design and those imaginings of my creation; Acknowledging the degree of my skills and allowing for the gifts granted to me by my hard work; Gift from my distant sister and the guilt of receiving rewards being viewed as freebees or good luck by my struggling family.
May 20, 2013
Red Grid Marks Case Report #1: Jordon (previously "Michael")
Since writing the Summary of Symptoms on the Red Grid Mark phenomenon, the most visited post in my archive, other cases have been contacting me seeking answers to their own mysterious occurrences of similar marks. The following is the first case of a series I will be reporting based on email interviews.
Apr 22, 2013
Quicknotes
Previous dreams last month quicknotes for future reference. These all occurred in April 2013, but not necessarily in the order in which they are listed here.
Dream 1) My oldest sister Angela depicted as an innocent, young, naive girl. Once wanting to sing with me familiar songs from our childhood in front of my scrutinizing college voice professors for an hour. I denied her saying they don't want to hear us sing that long, especially when we haven't rehearsed and hers and my voice are very different in quality and training (sounds full of myself, but honest). She felt hurt like a child who didn't understand why her older sister (role reversal) wouldn't sing with her.
Dream 1) My oldest sister Angela depicted as an innocent, young, naive girl. Once wanting to sing with me familiar songs from our childhood in front of my scrutinizing college voice professors for an hour. I denied her saying they don't want to hear us sing that long, especially when we haven't rehearsed and hers and my voice are very different in quality and training (sounds full of myself, but honest). She felt hurt like a child who didn't understand why her older sister (role reversal) wouldn't sing with her.
Mar 29, 2013
Ready, Aim, Imagine
Summary: Effect of the zero point energy field on guns; how belief governs whether outside force has affect and how this relates to being shot at or shooting another in the higher dimension where dream experience resides; reference about an underground movement; questions about the nature of the soul.
Night of March 26/27th 2013
Mar 19, 2013
Study in Astrophysics with Higher Dimensional Masters
Morning of March 18th 2013; Originally published 3/19/13
In this dream, a vision appears to my avatar's perception (meaning I am perceiving the dream through an avatar of myself within the dream world) of a small avatar of myself standing motionless in a room surrounded in darkness to depict isolation, like the protagonist in a video game idling.
An invisible presence communicates with me, asking if I am certain I wish to be his pupil and learn the harsh truths of the universe. "Yes! I have been waiting to receive lessons from a master for so long!"
I'm shown a cycling counter from 100 to 500 like a classroom series where the 100's and 200's are novice and 500 is master level. I am watching it like a lottery, willing it to give me a 300 or up number. I somehow have memory that I had already studied the lower division classes of this topic (not in a traditional school setting in my waking life, but on my own time by my own research). How funny that this dream, without my deliberate thought on it, has led me back to where I started. I originally wanted to major in cosmology, but it was not offered at my university. Instead, I have explored it to my heart's content on my own time. My study is driven by hashing out my own theories. But I have great humility and doubt that I am on par with even a bachelorreate in that field. Nonetheless, I say aloud that I am at least beyond the introductory series.
It hovers in the 400s and I am nervously surprised, before it lands on 350. I yip in joy and relief that it both judged my knowledge, interest, and ability higher than novice, and yet not too far out of where I'd be comfortable. However, I sensed from the master that I may have underestimated myself. The counter generated the number based on my perception of myself, not knowledge alone; in other words it was responding to me.
(Out of sequence) I ask about the overlain vision of my little pixelated avatar in a room in the middle of nowhere: "I would be alone in my studies?" They answered in type; the words appeared behind the vision in my perspective avatar's consciousness (separating myself from the vision). They said Jim (my life partner/spouse) will accompany me. They want me to be aware of the isolation I face in wanting to be a student of their knowledge. I am a relatively social person even though I only live with Jim and my son. Excited to be given an opportunity to study I say in midsentence "Yes. I would like to do this."
The voice pauses, then says "Make sure you take time to decide."
"I don't need time to come to the same decision."
They respond by saying "the Hysenberg principle."
In this dream, a vision appears to my avatar's perception (meaning I am perceiving the dream through an avatar of myself within the dream world) of a small avatar of myself standing motionless in a room surrounded in darkness to depict isolation, like the protagonist in a video game idling.
An invisible presence communicates with me, asking if I am certain I wish to be his pupil and learn the harsh truths of the universe. "Yes! I have been waiting to receive lessons from a master for so long!"
I'm shown a cycling counter from 100 to 500 like a classroom series where the 100's and 200's are novice and 500 is master level. I am watching it like a lottery, willing it to give me a 300 or up number. I somehow have memory that I had already studied the lower division classes of this topic (not in a traditional school setting in my waking life, but on my own time by my own research). How funny that this dream, without my deliberate thought on it, has led me back to where I started. I originally wanted to major in cosmology, but it was not offered at my university. Instead, I have explored it to my heart's content on my own time. My study is driven by hashing out my own theories. But I have great humility and doubt that I am on par with even a bachelorreate in that field. Nonetheless, I say aloud that I am at least beyond the introductory series.
It hovers in the 400s and I am nervously surprised, before it lands on 350. I yip in joy and relief that it both judged my knowledge, interest, and ability higher than novice, and yet not too far out of where I'd be comfortable. However, I sensed from the master that I may have underestimated myself. The counter generated the number based on my perception of myself, not knowledge alone; in other words it was responding to me.
(Out of sequence) I ask about the overlain vision of my little pixelated avatar in a room in the middle of nowhere: "I would be alone in my studies?" They answered in type; the words appeared behind the vision in my perspective avatar's consciousness (separating myself from the vision). They said Jim (my life partner/spouse) will accompany me. They want me to be aware of the isolation I face in wanting to be a student of their knowledge. I am a relatively social person even though I only live with Jim and my son. Excited to be given an opportunity to study I say in midsentence "Yes. I would like to do this."
The voice pauses, then says "Make sure you take time to decide."
"I don't need time to come to the same decision."
They respond by saying "the Hysenberg principle."
Mar 9, 2013
Fire and Manifesting the Imagined
An interesting point. Why do I never dream of fire? The Galactic ground crew (see their open forum here) speak about the Sacred Fire and the Violet Flame, a power used originally by the Dragons (an ancient race bred without love, bent on sabotaging the Christ plan, also called 'the Dark hats'), but also used by the lord commander Ashtar of the Federation (described in mythologies).
Giving due credit to Elizabeth Trutwin, she quotes in an email/post (not yet available on her site):
"I read about the God Agni who was facing the dark Hats in a battle in the forest. It actually said that Agni held up his hands out of which burned a fire and the fire melted all the bad guys and burned so hot it melted the forest down....
"Ashtarʻs Avatar form is the God Agni....
"Ashtar was using a weapon called the Violet Flame....
"The Violet Flame when used through the hand chakras is a kind of martial arts weapon for the Dragons. They cannot sustain that energy. It works kinda like a beam weapon and they have misfirings in the qrs wave and they look like they are having a heart attack."
I have seen nuclear and bomb-like explosions in my dreams, but never fire. According to the Galactics, a key collective is the Dolphins who are the Angels. They would be linked with water right? I wonder if I have been prepped to establish an overall trust in my connection with water so I might walk into a dream of fire and not panic about its usual destructive connotation, but trust I can put it out if necessary.
From a Lightworker's post on the galactic free press site linked above, Patricia writes:
"Have you heard about the Violet Flame? This is a frequency of energy, vibration, and consciousness that is flowing into the mental and emotional strata of Earth through the all-encompassing Divine Matrix of our Father-Mother God. This Gift of Sacred Fire is flowing in, through, and around every particle of Life on Earth and it has the amazing ability to transmute into Light the negativity that is being pushed to the surface in our individual lives and in the lives of people who are suffering all over the world."
The light I saw erupt from my hands in prayer (see Power post) was my first nudge toward that same flame that Ashtar used. I didn't see it as light though, neither did I see the image of God as fire, but as fluid lines of electricity of brilliant white and yellow light. It undoubtedly had power though because it hurt my abdomen afterward like menstral cramps (in the dream still).
As a side note about one of my primary theories listed on the Theories page of my blog, Patricia also wrote: "The Universal Law is, 'The Call for assistance must come from the realm where the assistance is needed.'"
This holds true in my personal experiments.
She continues, "Fortunately, in order to benefit from the Violet Flame you do not have to fully comprehend or even accept that the Violet Flame is real. All you have to do is think of it as a possibility, then ask your I AM Presence to utilize the 5th-Dimensional Solar Violet Flame of God’s Infinite Perfection to transmute everything that is causing pain and suffering in your life, in the lives of Humanity, or in the experience of any other facet of Life on Earth. The Violet Flame is scientific to the letter, and it will respond instantly to the invocation of every person’s I AM Presence."
and
"It will also pave the way for the tangible manifestation of the patterns of perfection..."
Without realizing it, I have been seeking the same things as they have; the goal in part being tangible manifestation of our higher dimensional abilities.
Giving due credit to Elizabeth Trutwin, she quotes in an email/post (not yet available on her site):
"I read about the God Agni who was facing the dark Hats in a battle in the forest. It actually said that Agni held up his hands out of which burned a fire and the fire melted all the bad guys and burned so hot it melted the forest down....
"Ashtarʻs Avatar form is the God Agni....
"Ashtar was using a weapon called the Violet Flame....
"The Violet Flame when used through the hand chakras is a kind of martial arts weapon for the Dragons. They cannot sustain that energy. It works kinda like a beam weapon and they have misfirings in the qrs wave and they look like they are having a heart attack."
I have seen nuclear and bomb-like explosions in my dreams, but never fire. According to the Galactics, a key collective is the Dolphins who are the Angels. They would be linked with water right? I wonder if I have been prepped to establish an overall trust in my connection with water so I might walk into a dream of fire and not panic about its usual destructive connotation, but trust I can put it out if necessary.
From a Lightworker's post on the galactic free press site linked above, Patricia writes:
"Have you heard about the Violet Flame? This is a frequency of energy, vibration, and consciousness that is flowing into the mental and emotional strata of Earth through the all-encompassing Divine Matrix of our Father-Mother God. This Gift of Sacred Fire is flowing in, through, and around every particle of Life on Earth and it has the amazing ability to transmute into Light the negativity that is being pushed to the surface in our individual lives and in the lives of people who are suffering all over the world."
The light I saw erupt from my hands in prayer (see Power post) was my first nudge toward that same flame that Ashtar used. I didn't see it as light though, neither did I see the image of God as fire, but as fluid lines of electricity of brilliant white and yellow light. It undoubtedly had power though because it hurt my abdomen afterward like menstral cramps (in the dream still).
As a side note about one of my primary theories listed on the Theories page of my blog, Patricia also wrote: "The Universal Law is, 'The Call for assistance must come from the realm where the assistance is needed.'"
This holds true in my personal experiments.
She continues, "Fortunately, in order to benefit from the Violet Flame you do not have to fully comprehend or even accept that the Violet Flame is real. All you have to do is think of it as a possibility, then ask your I AM Presence to utilize the 5th-Dimensional Solar Violet Flame of God’s Infinite Perfection to transmute everything that is causing pain and suffering in your life, in the lives of Humanity, or in the experience of any other facet of Life on Earth. The Violet Flame is scientific to the letter, and it will respond instantly to the invocation of every person’s I AM Presence."
and
"It will also pave the way for the tangible manifestation of the patterns of perfection..."
Without realizing it, I have been seeking the same things as they have; the goal in part being tangible manifestation of our higher dimensional abilities.
To Serve
Night of March 6/7th 2013
I am in combat with giant hovering eyeballs (not beholders) with red veins. They don't do much. I am armed with a sword, slashing and thrusting like a kid again playing a make believe adventure game. Facility is evacuating. People are running out. Alarms going off like a fire drill. I have a partner who is the primary fighter. He has to go off to fight the boss eyeball, and I must protect these people. I question leaving me to fend for them alone. He runs off, insisting I will do fine. The responsibility concerns me and I tell myself to just strike. I cut down an eyeball in a room. Someone tells me the eyeballs are getting to the escaping crowds of people though. I panic and come out. In a reaction of faith I cast a storm spell over one of the eyeballs nearest the lines of running people. Funnily, I make the sound effects for the storm thundering lightning on the enemy. There is no actual visual that my spell worked. It was like I was playing pretend. I tell myself I wounded it, that it wasn't strong enough to be a finishing blow. I slashed it down. But I acknowledged to myself I wouldn't know if the spell actually had affect. I get hit, and act as I would if it really happened, but I felt no real pain. Again, I was playing true to it being pretend even though I believed it real.
I am in combat with giant hovering eyeballs (not beholders) with red veins. They don't do much. I am armed with a sword, slashing and thrusting like a kid again playing a make believe adventure game. Facility is evacuating. People are running out. Alarms going off like a fire drill. I have a partner who is the primary fighter. He has to go off to fight the boss eyeball, and I must protect these people. I question leaving me to fend for them alone. He runs off, insisting I will do fine. The responsibility concerns me and I tell myself to just strike. I cut down an eyeball in a room. Someone tells me the eyeballs are getting to the escaping crowds of people though. I panic and come out. In a reaction of faith I cast a storm spell over one of the eyeballs nearest the lines of running people. Funnily, I make the sound effects for the storm thundering lightning on the enemy. There is no actual visual that my spell worked. It was like I was playing pretend. I tell myself I wounded it, that it wasn't strong enough to be a finishing blow. I slashed it down. But I acknowledged to myself I wouldn't know if the spell actually had affect. I get hit, and act as I would if it really happened, but I felt no real pain. Again, I was playing true to it being pretend even though I believed it real.
Mar 8, 2013
Power
Night of March 5/6th 2013
Dream: Two main scenes showing me first with my son then with my partner, Jim, in a joyful state of interacting with them. Scene is shades of gray, near void of real color, but my feeling of peace and love is unaffected. A brilliant light sparks between us as a beautiful manifestation of divine approval and power from our joy being together. With my son we were laughing and snuggling and I involved myself appreciatively in his play, and with my partner we engaged intimately, naked we wrapped around one another. I said to him I wanted to show him something amazing. Immediately I brought my hands to prayer, still in his embrace, and an arc of sparking light like how 'God' appeared bursted from my abdomen in a different dream experience (one of my most profound). It was nothing short of magic that released into the gray, dim world through our love and prayer. Gives a truer meaning to the phrase 'making love' than we've ever understood. It was beautiful and I wondered if it meant I could harness water, if it was a power to make miracles happen. Jim pulled away to see it more and pulled my soul out as he moved. My perspective remained in my body though, petrified, seeing a glowing outline of myself pulled out and with him. "Whoops." He said and somehow let go for it to return.
Dream: Two main scenes showing me first with my son then with my partner, Jim, in a joyful state of interacting with them. Scene is shades of gray, near void of real color, but my feeling of peace and love is unaffected. A brilliant light sparks between us as a beautiful manifestation of divine approval and power from our joy being together. With my son we were laughing and snuggling and I involved myself appreciatively in his play, and with my partner we engaged intimately, naked we wrapped around one another. I said to him I wanted to show him something amazing. Immediately I brought my hands to prayer, still in his embrace, and an arc of sparking light like how 'God' appeared bursted from my abdomen in a different dream experience (one of my most profound). It was nothing short of magic that released into the gray, dim world through our love and prayer. Gives a truer meaning to the phrase 'making love' than we've ever understood. It was beautiful and I wondered if it meant I could harness water, if it was a power to make miracles happen. Jim pulled away to see it more and pulled my soul out as he moved. My perspective remained in my body though, petrified, seeing a glowing outline of myself pulled out and with him. "Whoops." He said and somehow let go for it to return.
Feb 16, 2013
Consciousness Abduction
Edited October 20th, 2017
[Note: The connotation I associate to this experience changed a couple months later as I developed a curiosity and understanding of the beings I encountered. My initial reaction was one of distress and confusion. I was so disturbed by the experience I woke up and immediately needed to draw. I found crayons and paper and drew three images (poorly, I might add) from the experience.
Although I've titled this experience as an Abduction, I must iterate for myself that I did state a readiness for such an encounter. Perhaps there was some amount of complicity in it.
First was a lucid dream where I met the shape-shifting blonde, eagle woman and saw a UFO scanning the trees. Then, I awoke in a different body not my own aboard an alien ship. I cannot highlight this enough. My consciousness was transferred to a clone-like, weak body which I awoke into.]
INTRODUCTION
Most significant dream experience I've had in a while. Shocking, and disturbing.
My morning was extremely difficult fighting with my toddler's refusal to accept I cannot nurse him as much as he wants. I felt helpless, second guessing, as I have been this entire trip in Portland to work on my book, if coming up here was a good idea. But I must get my book done. He misses his dad so much. I miss having him put the kid to bed to help me wean. He can't nurse if I'm not in the room (I would sleep on the couch most nights). I'm embarrassed. His other grandparents and aunt want to take him out to the zoo on the weekend and I am nervous he will throw a tantrum the whole time.
A degree in psychology, experience as a child care worker, raising my own sisters, you'd think I would know a thing or two about this, but I am exhausted! I took a nap at noon, too upset and tired to work today. And this is what happened...
[Note: The connotation I associate to this experience changed a couple months later as I developed a curiosity and understanding of the beings I encountered. My initial reaction was one of distress and confusion. I was so disturbed by the experience I woke up and immediately needed to draw. I found crayons and paper and drew three images (poorly, I might add) from the experience.
Although I've titled this experience as an Abduction, I must iterate for myself that I did state a readiness for such an encounter. Perhaps there was some amount of complicity in it.
First was a lucid dream where I met the shape-shifting blonde, eagle woman and saw a UFO scanning the trees. Then, I awoke in a different body not my own aboard an alien ship. I cannot highlight this enough. My consciousness was transferred to a clone-like, weak body which I awoke into.]
INTRODUCTION
Most significant dream experience I've had in a while. Shocking, and disturbing.
My morning was extremely difficult fighting with my toddler's refusal to accept I cannot nurse him as much as he wants. I felt helpless, second guessing, as I have been this entire trip in Portland to work on my book, if coming up here was a good idea. But I must get my book done. He misses his dad so much. I miss having him put the kid to bed to help me wean. He can't nurse if I'm not in the room (I would sleep on the couch most nights). I'm embarrassed. His other grandparents and aunt want to take him out to the zoo on the weekend and I am nervous he will throw a tantrum the whole time.
A degree in psychology, experience as a child care worker, raising my own sisters, you'd think I would know a thing or two about this, but I am exhausted! I took a nap at noon, too upset and tired to work today. And this is what happened...
Feb 10, 2013
Urban Jungle
Night of Feb. 7/8th 2013
Dream: Very little dialogue. Climbing acrobatically in and around bridges, some hundreds of feet in the air. Dark, but can see the objects clearly. I've had similar dream like this before. Conquering fear and doubt training perhaps. I wake amazed that I did those things. How is that me? Settings feel like real life in dreams, why is it we would react so differently to a situation in a dream compared to how we suspect we would in the physical realm?
Analysis: Difficult feats of confidence and ability are easy in my dreams. I know it is possible. How amazing are the powers of belief, knowing, trust, and faith in accomplishing anything we wish and need. There is still a major barrier in this existence though that prevents us from awakening these abilities outside the dream state. I find it difficult to explain to people the concept of imagination being reality when opposites are unified. The lower vibrational existence of this realm makes all manner of things in a perpetual state of incompleteness. Dualities, in a higher vibration, are experienced in unity, not as disparate. So in the dream state, when you ask a question, the answer will come almost immediately as a knowing, a verbal answer from a character or invisible narrator, or as a visual morphed into the imagery of the dream. We must be willing to ask!
Many people tell me about nightmares where they behave as though they have no say in what is happening, they feel powerless, afraid. I encourage them to trust in the safety of it being only a dream and ask for a safe haven. Eventually, you will be able to create whatever you can imagine directly into the scene. Dreams are cluing us into the nature of of imagination. What we defer to, whether fear, love, faith, or doubt, is what we create. And there are parasitic creatures that feed off of our incomplete negative emotions that will strive to keep us feeling that way so they have a source of sustenance.
Dream: Very little dialogue. Climbing acrobatically in and around bridges, some hundreds of feet in the air. Dark, but can see the objects clearly. I've had similar dream like this before. Conquering fear and doubt training perhaps. I wake amazed that I did those things. How is that me? Settings feel like real life in dreams, why is it we would react so differently to a situation in a dream compared to how we suspect we would in the physical realm?
Analysis: Difficult feats of confidence and ability are easy in my dreams. I know it is possible. How amazing are the powers of belief, knowing, trust, and faith in accomplishing anything we wish and need. There is still a major barrier in this existence though that prevents us from awakening these abilities outside the dream state. I find it difficult to explain to people the concept of imagination being reality when opposites are unified. The lower vibrational existence of this realm makes all manner of things in a perpetual state of incompleteness. Dualities, in a higher vibration, are experienced in unity, not as disparate. So in the dream state, when you ask a question, the answer will come almost immediately as a knowing, a verbal answer from a character or invisible narrator, or as a visual morphed into the imagery of the dream. We must be willing to ask!
Many people tell me about nightmares where they behave as though they have no say in what is happening, they feel powerless, afraid. I encourage them to trust in the safety of it being only a dream and ask for a safe haven. Eventually, you will be able to create whatever you can imagine directly into the scene. Dreams are cluing us into the nature of of imagination. What we defer to, whether fear, love, faith, or doubt, is what we create. And there are parasitic creatures that feed off of our incomplete negative emotions that will strive to keep us feeling that way so they have a source of sustenance.
Feb 7, 2013
Perspective Shift
Night of Feb 5/6th 2013
Dream: So much water! In a warm climate on beach front. Small, broken down shack. Windows and doors open. Water is rising. Beginning to leak in our open front door. Person I'm with dismisses it saying it will only recede now. She (my mother again, it felt like) mops up the area at the front of the door. Something odd about the delay by which the water was coming into the house. The water level was a good half foot above the level of the entrance, but only a slow, thin amount at the bottom was flooding in. According to the physics of time and space and gravity, it should have been moving in much faster and in greater quantity. Suddenly water is filling the room. We are running out of space at the ceiling to gather air before we are trapped in a box of water. We concede we have to escape.
Next scene from this, driving in a full car with a few friends now excited to survive a life of adventure on the go. Daring, our driver heads straight to where a peninsula is supposed to be; want to see the water's edge. Shocking, we all exclaim "Where is the peninsula?" "The water flooded it! It rose that high." Water seemed calm, never actually seemed stormy. Perspective pans out so that I am viewing the car my dream self is in from out above the ocean. Not sure what purpose this served.
In a stream, fall asleep in stream, curl up and doze. Can breathe fine, like a pocket of air extends down in front of my face. I am not completely immersed. Awake with the feeling I have been irresponsible, that Link (my son) has been left unsupervised in a river. I look down the river and see a figure doing somersaults in the water. Panic that it is Link. Didn't start out as behavior declaring help, but became so. When I arrived, he had already fallen unconscious. What if I couldn't resusitate him? I knew though that this was dream state rules, so even though I felt superficially the desperation and grief of the possibility that he may not wake, I knew within that he would wake because it was a dream and I willed him to be okay. There was not an actual resusitation. The scene simply moved on. Maybe I passed the test?
iPad-like device was possessed. An intelligence living in or as the device was trying its hardest to scare me with a game it insisted I play. I'm in an old house with part of roof missing in one room. Call for Jim to show him the game, and to also calm my spooks on edge from the game. Didn't want to admit it really was getting to me. No answer. Where was he? Nervousness. Can I keep up this charade? Will the evil device win?
Return with group of same age men and women. We all want a shower. Only one shower room. A few women immediately begun to prep for their showers. A line of of mostly the men stood at the entrance. Before they could turn the corner to see the undressing few who led the pack to arriving first, the issue learned from my previous dream inspired me to take control. I turned and told everyone we should do each sex separately. Women would start. "Well that's not fair." I anticipated. Need solution. "We'll start this time, next time we do this much activity, the guys start and so we'll just rotate back and forth who showers first." They agreed. I shoed them out the door. Everyone was satisfied. I devised a quick compromise based on the immediate situation. What was before a pointing out of my arrogance with forcing my vision of an equal, respectful way of interaction onto others not remotely ready to follow such a change was identified as being resolved with this scene of the dream.
Analysis: For reference, I love water. I birthed in water, I love swimming, and have a weird desire where I become so mentally thirsty to be enveloped in water while drinking pure clean water that I imagine being water. I want it to fill and flow through my body like I am a being of pure water identifiable by only a human outline.
However, I am beginning to wonder if the dreams of flooding are metaphors for when I am overanalyzing, when I am flooding an issue. Can it be both? Because it has been rather uplifting believing I have prophetic ability. If dreams work like how the shower scenes worked, in that another chance will be granted to determine if my approach has changed,. What am I supposed to do with those flooding dreams? I ruin a peaceful moment with worry, as what was illustrated with the river napping turned shameful for irresponsibly letting myself have a nap when I should have been watching Link. I figured it was a warning to not doze off so much and let him do his own thing unsupervised, like I tend to do in the mornings. Perhaps though the trick is "believe whatever brings you to a state of ecstatic joy and by fulfilling your truths, you will not have the need for a self-improvement dream.
I imagine my spirit guides are rather frustrated with me. 'How many times must we show her that for humans to achieve a higher vibrational consciousness, we must accept that we have the power to create and manipulate time, events, and what we used to consider separate: reality and imagination?' How many times before I believe that enough to imagine myself finishing my book in record time, feeling rejuvenated about my future career, finding the right attributes and knowledge I need to demand my book be published and myself represented by quality professionals that will take my message seriously and help me toward success.Why does doubt rule over me? Probably because I let it. My greatest weakness I think, but has been my strength in some ways, allowing me to see things from both sides, and know in and out how it accumulates in a person's soul.
I've only been pointing out the negative possible interpretations of these dreams. Maybe they were in answer to last night's questions. Where can I find the right mud? On a warm coast, or in a soothing stream that makes me sleepy. I can't let the evil device win! Also, another example of machines imbued with life. Is it possible for a machine to have free will? Aren't humans biological machines? Is there so much of a difference? If the soul originates from a source, then unless a soul can occupy a machine (something that has been suggested many time in my dreams actually through many different examples), a machine can only imitate and execute programmings without true awareness.
Dream: So much water! In a warm climate on beach front. Small, broken down shack. Windows and doors open. Water is rising. Beginning to leak in our open front door. Person I'm with dismisses it saying it will only recede now. She (my mother again, it felt like) mops up the area at the front of the door. Something odd about the delay by which the water was coming into the house. The water level was a good half foot above the level of the entrance, but only a slow, thin amount at the bottom was flooding in. According to the physics of time and space and gravity, it should have been moving in much faster and in greater quantity. Suddenly water is filling the room. We are running out of space at the ceiling to gather air before we are trapped in a box of water. We concede we have to escape.
Next scene from this, driving in a full car with a few friends now excited to survive a life of adventure on the go. Daring, our driver heads straight to where a peninsula is supposed to be; want to see the water's edge. Shocking, we all exclaim "Where is the peninsula?" "The water flooded it! It rose that high." Water seemed calm, never actually seemed stormy. Perspective pans out so that I am viewing the car my dream self is in from out above the ocean. Not sure what purpose this served.
In a stream, fall asleep in stream, curl up and doze. Can breathe fine, like a pocket of air extends down in front of my face. I am not completely immersed. Awake with the feeling I have been irresponsible, that Link (my son) has been left unsupervised in a river. I look down the river and see a figure doing somersaults in the water. Panic that it is Link. Didn't start out as behavior declaring help, but became so. When I arrived, he had already fallen unconscious. What if I couldn't resusitate him? I knew though that this was dream state rules, so even though I felt superficially the desperation and grief of the possibility that he may not wake, I knew within that he would wake because it was a dream and I willed him to be okay. There was not an actual resusitation. The scene simply moved on. Maybe I passed the test?
iPad-like device was possessed. An intelligence living in or as the device was trying its hardest to scare me with a game it insisted I play. I'm in an old house with part of roof missing in one room. Call for Jim to show him the game, and to also calm my spooks on edge from the game. Didn't want to admit it really was getting to me. No answer. Where was he? Nervousness. Can I keep up this charade? Will the evil device win?
Return with group of same age men and women. We all want a shower. Only one shower room. A few women immediately begun to prep for their showers. A line of of mostly the men stood at the entrance. Before they could turn the corner to see the undressing few who led the pack to arriving first, the issue learned from my previous dream inspired me to take control. I turned and told everyone we should do each sex separately. Women would start. "Well that's not fair." I anticipated. Need solution. "We'll start this time, next time we do this much activity, the guys start and so we'll just rotate back and forth who showers first." They agreed. I shoed them out the door. Everyone was satisfied. I devised a quick compromise based on the immediate situation. What was before a pointing out of my arrogance with forcing my vision of an equal, respectful way of interaction onto others not remotely ready to follow such a change was identified as being resolved with this scene of the dream.
Analysis: For reference, I love water. I birthed in water, I love swimming, and have a weird desire where I become so mentally thirsty to be enveloped in water while drinking pure clean water that I imagine being water. I want it to fill and flow through my body like I am a being of pure water identifiable by only a human outline.
However, I am beginning to wonder if the dreams of flooding are metaphors for when I am overanalyzing, when I am flooding an issue. Can it be both? Because it has been rather uplifting believing I have prophetic ability. If dreams work like how the shower scenes worked, in that another chance will be granted to determine if my approach has changed,. What am I supposed to do with those flooding dreams? I ruin a peaceful moment with worry, as what was illustrated with the river napping turned shameful for irresponsibly letting myself have a nap when I should have been watching Link. I figured it was a warning to not doze off so much and let him do his own thing unsupervised, like I tend to do in the mornings. Perhaps though the trick is "believe whatever brings you to a state of ecstatic joy and by fulfilling your truths, you will not have the need for a self-improvement dream.
I imagine my spirit guides are rather frustrated with me. 'How many times must we show her that for humans to achieve a higher vibrational consciousness, we must accept that we have the power to create and manipulate time, events, and what we used to consider separate: reality and imagination?' How many times before I believe that enough to imagine myself finishing my book in record time, feeling rejuvenated about my future career, finding the right attributes and knowledge I need to demand my book be published and myself represented by quality professionals that will take my message seriously and help me toward success.Why does doubt rule over me? Probably because I let it. My greatest weakness I think, but has been my strength in some ways, allowing me to see things from both sides, and know in and out how it accumulates in a person's soul.
I've only been pointing out the negative possible interpretations of these dreams. Maybe they were in answer to last night's questions. Where can I find the right mud? On a warm coast, or in a soothing stream that makes me sleepy. I can't let the evil device win! Also, another example of machines imbued with life. Is it possible for a machine to have free will? Aren't humans biological machines? Is there so much of a difference? If the soul originates from a source, then unless a soul can occupy a machine (something that has been suggested many time in my dreams actually through many different examples), a machine can only imitate and execute programmings without true awareness.
Feb 2, 2013
Faith, Trust, and Love
Night of Feb 1st/2nd 2013
In prelude, I asked whilst in meditative thought before bed, prompted by a recent message through medium and writer Elizabeth Trutwin (see http://garuda.co for links to her other sites as well) if what those in the Galactic Federation belief system (I call it thus simply for those who do not know of it yet and I do not for certain of its existence, although my personal evidences so far suggest it does) call Twin Flames are responsible for helping guide us in dreams. Is my TF the experiences I am perceiving in my dreams, the other half of myself that is placed in particular experiences on the ships to supplement my physical existence? Dreams are very often determined by what we are struggling with, they can answer pure thought questions when it will benefit our ascension and return to a complete merging to true selves with our TFs. Theories I've had in the past weren't supported, such as: is the consciousness transferred to a clone body somewhere else where it is programmed for specific tasks; which started with the wonder if our bodies are literally abducted and programmed, then returned. Drugs and manipulation would have to be involved. But there was never even a trace memory of being physically taken, and my family never noticed my absence. I could jolt back to my body sometimes. There just wasn't any evidence or feeling of truth to this hypothesis. It had to have a more esoteric component. Then it was deciphering whether humans are being used at this time when they are most vulnerable, or if the imposition of dreams had a more benevolent agenda. I increasingly suspect that ideas we would call inspiration are implanted or observed through our TFs, especially if we prompt them to scope out an answer by devoting intense thought to a problem we want solved. Consider how often mathematicians, scientists, artists, writers, sculptors, inventors, philosophers throughout time discovered their answer in a dream after rigorous contemplation during their waking state.
What does this all mean? That truth is not as far away as we expect. We need only calm our minds and wait for an answer that will honestly appear in our consciousness'. I analyze questions and problems to death, knowing that I need only close my eyes and let the truth come in. But out of mistrust of my own filters, I must sift through all those "knowings" anyway. In time, if the 'truth' that came to me holds up, if it increasingly feels right, then I learn to trust it to be truth. With concepts like dreaming, and the existence of influential telepathic beings of energy that communicate with us constantly and can see and hear us constantly - invisible things difficult to prove - it partially comes down to faith. Faith is always what it keeps coming back to. That thing we struggle with that is a choice and holds the key to our freedom.
I have been researching and writing a book on imagination. As I've been doing this dream tracking and exploration, I realized just how intimately intertwined faith and imagination is. By imagining that which we want and need and working to bring those imaginings into the physical world, we thus prove for ourselves that we have control in shaping our world. Confidence, self-esteem, faith can all be summoned and learned and you can control how they manifest for you. We each have unique sets of problems and issues absorbed into us by this physical world and the illusion that things happen to us without acknowledgment of how we are allowing it to affect us that makes its effect. When we realize everything perceived as negative is ultimately an incomplete picture because duality is the separation of things that should be unified, then we begin to change the filters by which we let things shape us. If we resonate of love, trust, and faith, then we are impenetrable.
Dream: Ascending rows (4-6; very long) of seats like a stadium along the shore of a lake. A hundred students, myself included, sitting among them talking and facing the lake. Two by two, in sequence, we take our turns treading around in a general area of the water. Sun is setting. I feel increasingly anxious not about treading in the water or about being observed, but because I anticipate the water to be cold by the time its my turn. I am still affected by the rules of time and predictability of the illusion in this physical world. In the dream I could have trusted the water to be warm, that I would not be made to take my turn in pain. I thought "Hurry up hurry up, I want to get my turn in before the sun goes down." Based on how my other dreams have worked, all I needed to do was think the water to be warm and then I would be pleased, if not surprised, that it is when I get into it. Instead, the selection order hopped around me, purposefully delaying my turn. The sun tipped down over the horizon. The sequence was continuing. They were trying to tell me that my anxiety would be pointless if I just conveyed in faith what I needed.
As to why we were tasked to take turns in pairs swimming in the same area of the water, I had the sense we were keeping something open, perhaps an underwater portal. Are portals made out of thought energy? I've wondered this before because such a beautiful flux of colors seemed only possible as a creation of the purest of imagining. I'm sure there is a technological component as well, but what if the energy to ignite it is pure thought energy? There are ancient star gates all around the world on the surface made of stone. Do these still work? The crop circle phenomenon emphasizes the sacredness of geometry, especially the circle. Precise geometric shapes created in natural stone, what a beautiful representation of what I would call natural technology designed in cooperation with the Earth and natural intelligent laws. Pyramids, star gates, obelisks. These are the base technologies of the Galactics for communication, transportation or amplification to and with the higher dimensional beings of our Watchers/Galactic Relatives. Could be as simple as a raised hill or mountain to amplify the signal of your thoughts. Better the view, higher the price of real estate. Another control mechanism of the masses.
Next sequence: In a classroom, atmosphere is tinted a pale blue, like a projector's light is the only source of light in the room. Wide lecture hall style to sit a hundred students. Not full. Maybe twenty or thirty of us scattered around, mainly down the center aisle. I start in back and find my way up front later on after an activity. A couple students are leading with the help of a couple others to help illustrate the lesson. She is demonstrating why people cheat and veer away from their partners. It was a meaningful, silent, way of convincing the class of the weakness of these people who stray. She had a very simplistic view on the issue but was conveying it with such power by using this demonstration that it would convince anyone that her approach is the truth. I interrupt, knowing her approach is convincing but fails to address the complexities of the issue and feel compassion for the other persons involved. "This is an incomplete view on this matter. People who stray aren't always just going selfishly for someone younger, acting on their physical impulse to be with a young beauty (she was focusing on males, so I tried to vouch for the males). Yes maybe some do (I emphasized there are some that do, but that there is a more important reason not being addressed), but most people veer because the relationship they are in is dysfunctional, they are not connecting with their partner, and in many cases never did truly have an intimacy with their partner. So the drift away from feeling they know and connect with their partner only compounded. They rarely have intention to hurt their partner, usually they do their affairs in secret because they don't want to hurt their partner, but the truth of the matter is that they are both miserable and keeping themselves chained to relationship that does not benefit either person. In the minds of those who instinctively search elsewhere for a better candidate, they have already begun to let go of the stagnation with their current partner. Emotionally they were always detached, regardless what they were declared as in social or legal ways."
Someone in back asked I would know this.
"I am writing a book on imaginary companionship where I have been analyzing what drives our behaviors in relationships of all kinds. The very inclination to be searching for a replacement, someone you can be fulfilled with divulges the truth that there are needs not being met both ways that, in many cases, have been repressed."
I felt like an authority on the subject. My explanation was of course just the tip of the iceberg of the full picture, but it was a start in bringing up how oversimplified and judgmental the leading student's message was.
Next sequence: Elevator in a tall building of apartments. Clean and beautiful. Meet a lady whom I walk to her place. She invites me in. I find she actually has like six children and am amazed at how composed she is. It a large family, with an uncle ... [My dream memories are mixing up with images I've seen in real life on television or music or online media. Trouble sometimes to decipher whether an image was something I saw in a dream or in media.] They were very busy. I explained to an adult male (the dad?) that we met coming up the elevator and I sort of invited myself in to meet everyone. I mentioned I have a son and am shocked they decided to have so many children. She was certainly a busy personality, but was filled with love and tolerance.
I realized they lived right next to my apartment and invited them over whenever they wanted to return the favor for letting me meet their family. I walk through a side door connecting their apartment to mine, like a hotel might have joining rooms. I shed my coat and scarf, keys and purse and called for Jim. There is two burgers on a pan on the stove steaming. My first impression is that he left these cooking. He called to me assuring me he knows they're there and that he was making one for me. I felt embarrassed I had doubted him. He comes into the living room and sits. He wants to watch the Superbowl. I was going to tell him what happened with the lady I met that lives next door with her many kids.
I think I get it. Faith, trust, love for Jim, those closest to me who are always there for me, as much as I am inclined to feel for general people and invisible divinities. I will have a great opportunity to do this when I go live with my parents for a month to work on my book.
In prelude, I asked whilst in meditative thought before bed, prompted by a recent message through medium and writer Elizabeth Trutwin (see http://garuda.co for links to her other sites as well) if what those in the Galactic Federation belief system (I call it thus simply for those who do not know of it yet and I do not for certain of its existence, although my personal evidences so far suggest it does) call Twin Flames are responsible for helping guide us in dreams. Is my TF the experiences I am perceiving in my dreams, the other half of myself that is placed in particular experiences on the ships to supplement my physical existence? Dreams are very often determined by what we are struggling with, they can answer pure thought questions when it will benefit our ascension and return to a complete merging to true selves with our TFs. Theories I've had in the past weren't supported, such as: is the consciousness transferred to a clone body somewhere else where it is programmed for specific tasks; which started with the wonder if our bodies are literally abducted and programmed, then returned. Drugs and manipulation would have to be involved. But there was never even a trace memory of being physically taken, and my family never noticed my absence. I could jolt back to my body sometimes. There just wasn't any evidence or feeling of truth to this hypothesis. It had to have a more esoteric component. Then it was deciphering whether humans are being used at this time when they are most vulnerable, or if the imposition of dreams had a more benevolent agenda. I increasingly suspect that ideas we would call inspiration are implanted or observed through our TFs, especially if we prompt them to scope out an answer by devoting intense thought to a problem we want solved. Consider how often mathematicians, scientists, artists, writers, sculptors, inventors, philosophers throughout time discovered their answer in a dream after rigorous contemplation during their waking state.
What does this all mean? That truth is not as far away as we expect. We need only calm our minds and wait for an answer that will honestly appear in our consciousness'. I analyze questions and problems to death, knowing that I need only close my eyes and let the truth come in. But out of mistrust of my own filters, I must sift through all those "knowings" anyway. In time, if the 'truth' that came to me holds up, if it increasingly feels right, then I learn to trust it to be truth. With concepts like dreaming, and the existence of influential telepathic beings of energy that communicate with us constantly and can see and hear us constantly - invisible things difficult to prove - it partially comes down to faith. Faith is always what it keeps coming back to. That thing we struggle with that is a choice and holds the key to our freedom.
I have been researching and writing a book on imagination. As I've been doing this dream tracking and exploration, I realized just how intimately intertwined faith and imagination is. By imagining that which we want and need and working to bring those imaginings into the physical world, we thus prove for ourselves that we have control in shaping our world. Confidence, self-esteem, faith can all be summoned and learned and you can control how they manifest for you. We each have unique sets of problems and issues absorbed into us by this physical world and the illusion that things happen to us without acknowledgment of how we are allowing it to affect us that makes its effect. When we realize everything perceived as negative is ultimately an incomplete picture because duality is the separation of things that should be unified, then we begin to change the filters by which we let things shape us. If we resonate of love, trust, and faith, then we are impenetrable.
Dream: Ascending rows (4-6; very long) of seats like a stadium along the shore of a lake. A hundred students, myself included, sitting among them talking and facing the lake. Two by two, in sequence, we take our turns treading around in a general area of the water. Sun is setting. I feel increasingly anxious not about treading in the water or about being observed, but because I anticipate the water to be cold by the time its my turn. I am still affected by the rules of time and predictability of the illusion in this physical world. In the dream I could have trusted the water to be warm, that I would not be made to take my turn in pain. I thought "Hurry up hurry up, I want to get my turn in before the sun goes down." Based on how my other dreams have worked, all I needed to do was think the water to be warm and then I would be pleased, if not surprised, that it is when I get into it. Instead, the selection order hopped around me, purposefully delaying my turn. The sun tipped down over the horizon. The sequence was continuing. They were trying to tell me that my anxiety would be pointless if I just conveyed in faith what I needed.
As to why we were tasked to take turns in pairs swimming in the same area of the water, I had the sense we were keeping something open, perhaps an underwater portal. Are portals made out of thought energy? I've wondered this before because such a beautiful flux of colors seemed only possible as a creation of the purest of imagining. I'm sure there is a technological component as well, but what if the energy to ignite it is pure thought energy? There are ancient star gates all around the world on the surface made of stone. Do these still work? The crop circle phenomenon emphasizes the sacredness of geometry, especially the circle. Precise geometric shapes created in natural stone, what a beautiful representation of what I would call natural technology designed in cooperation with the Earth and natural intelligent laws. Pyramids, star gates, obelisks. These are the base technologies of the Galactics for communication, transportation or amplification to and with the higher dimensional beings of our Watchers/Galactic Relatives. Could be as simple as a raised hill or mountain to amplify the signal of your thoughts. Better the view, higher the price of real estate. Another control mechanism of the masses.
Next sequence: In a classroom, atmosphere is tinted a pale blue, like a projector's light is the only source of light in the room. Wide lecture hall style to sit a hundred students. Not full. Maybe twenty or thirty of us scattered around, mainly down the center aisle. I start in back and find my way up front later on after an activity. A couple students are leading with the help of a couple others to help illustrate the lesson. She is demonstrating why people cheat and veer away from their partners. It was a meaningful, silent, way of convincing the class of the weakness of these people who stray. She had a very simplistic view on the issue but was conveying it with such power by using this demonstration that it would convince anyone that her approach is the truth. I interrupt, knowing her approach is convincing but fails to address the complexities of the issue and feel compassion for the other persons involved. "This is an incomplete view on this matter. People who stray aren't always just going selfishly for someone younger, acting on their physical impulse to be with a young beauty (she was focusing on males, so I tried to vouch for the males). Yes maybe some do (I emphasized there are some that do, but that there is a more important reason not being addressed), but most people veer because the relationship they are in is dysfunctional, they are not connecting with their partner, and in many cases never did truly have an intimacy with their partner. So the drift away from feeling they know and connect with their partner only compounded. They rarely have intention to hurt their partner, usually they do their affairs in secret because they don't want to hurt their partner, but the truth of the matter is that they are both miserable and keeping themselves chained to relationship that does not benefit either person. In the minds of those who instinctively search elsewhere for a better candidate, they have already begun to let go of the stagnation with their current partner. Emotionally they were always detached, regardless what they were declared as in social or legal ways."
Someone in back asked I would know this.
"I am writing a book on imaginary companionship where I have been analyzing what drives our behaviors in relationships of all kinds. The very inclination to be searching for a replacement, someone you can be fulfilled with divulges the truth that there are needs not being met both ways that, in many cases, have been repressed."
I felt like an authority on the subject. My explanation was of course just the tip of the iceberg of the full picture, but it was a start in bringing up how oversimplified and judgmental the leading student's message was.
Next sequence: Elevator in a tall building of apartments. Clean and beautiful. Meet a lady whom I walk to her place. She invites me in. I find she actually has like six children and am amazed at how composed she is. It a large family, with an uncle ... [My dream memories are mixing up with images I've seen in real life on television or music or online media. Trouble sometimes to decipher whether an image was something I saw in a dream or in media.] They were very busy. I explained to an adult male (the dad?) that we met coming up the elevator and I sort of invited myself in to meet everyone. I mentioned I have a son and am shocked they decided to have so many children. She was certainly a busy personality, but was filled with love and tolerance.
I realized they lived right next to my apartment and invited them over whenever they wanted to return the favor for letting me meet their family. I walk through a side door connecting their apartment to mine, like a hotel might have joining rooms. I shed my coat and scarf, keys and purse and called for Jim. There is two burgers on a pan on the stove steaming. My first impression is that he left these cooking. He called to me assuring me he knows they're there and that he was making one for me. I felt embarrassed I had doubted him. He comes into the living room and sits. He wants to watch the Superbowl. I was going to tell him what happened with the lady I met that lives next door with her many kids.
I think I get it. Faith, trust, love for Jim, those closest to me who are always there for me, as much as I am inclined to feel for general people and invisible divinities. I will have a great opportunity to do this when I go live with my parents for a month to work on my book.
Jan 30, 2013
Transparency
Night and Day of Jan. 29/30th 2013
Sick most of this night and day with lots of forced rest allowing many cycles for dreams.
Dreams: Running around an outside play structure. Feel the thrill of play like a child, but engaging in more adult kind of goal. Sparring game of elimination. Objective is to be the last one standing. Started off playing swords with different lengths of wood rods, not round, maybe hexagonal, cleanly made (no splinters or superficial irregularities), light tan color. Couple of us are showing off with them, pretending they are swords. Me and many guys my age are participating. We created the game after finding the rods. Quickly becomes a seek and destroy game. I strangle one, stab another, shuriken another (don't really kill, just imitate the moves and the kill is declared), duck in and out of the structure. I climb around acrobatically, swiftly. I try not to be seen by the other players pursuing. I choose carefully when to run, when to strike, all with a confidence that I have a wider array of skills and resourcefulness. I use the structure as cover and to confuse my opponent males who cannot as easily maneuver in and out, up and down the structure as I can. Down to one other. Had to climb away. Don't let him see I had just finished off the last person he was stumbling onto the scene of, so he is made to feel nervous that I could already be nearby watching and preparing to strike. A few of our friends who didn't think they had the skills to participate are standing on the sides of the play area (bark dust ground) to watch and cheer and cast insults. I am doing very well. My last challenger will be difficult. He is the best. He did spot me, I had to keep moving through the structure, down onto the ground. I ditched my weapons with each kill. Didn't pick up another one yet. Being hot on me, I reacted using my fear to drive me to climb up two ropes of thick chains (once held up a tire swing perhaps). He wouldn't be able to climb after me. The people on the sidelines awed at my surprising strength for my seemingly limited muscle. Now I'm up here, how do I win? I can't come down, he is a burly guy with a sword waiting for me. I act quickly, rocking the chains back and forth to swing at him. The heavy ends knock him down. Based on our world physics, I don't know that that should have worked, but they reacted to my imaginings. I imagined the chains to be controllable enough for me to whip them fast enough toward him that he doesn't have time to react before they are right on top of him.
I find this phenomenon quite a bit in testing scenarios in my dreams, where the circumstances seem influenced or manipulated by my will. If I can imagine a particular outcome as the event is occurring, it will likely happen as I decide it too. This suggests again that consciousness does create. I want to know how much it is creating though, and how much is it just reacting to presented problems.
There is some cause for me to vouch for my abilites "You've seen what I can do, you've seen my skills are superior that I could have beat them all myself."
Next scene: Rehearsing for choir. I have three folders; my music is separated between the different groups I'm in by color. 'How smart' I think to myself that I had organized them. Didn't remember doing that though, became apparent as I looked through each folder and the answer was provided to me. Which folder is the group I'm sitting with now? Still singing even though I don't have the music in front of me. Pay such close attention that I had practically memorized our pieces already. Need me to take notes and parts where that section is having trouble. I am depended upon as someone who is versatile who can do the difficult parts or where there aren't enough people to take and do them on my own. I can help others out as well, even if just for a few run-throughs until they get their part better. I enjoy my role, I feel valuable to the group and to the director. [This may have been the message my choir dreams were trying to get across to me, which I wasn't getting, and so have been repeated.]
Was doing something outside the class for a moment [where was I?]. Upon returning, director is standing outside away from class for a moment and asks to talk. He is having trouble and is feeling low in his abilities. I give him praise and reassurance. He is pleased and uplifted by my words. He thanks me sincerely and with humility. I encourage him back to the class. I say I had to do something before returning, which he understood, some other duty I had to perform. I was looking for something. As he was about to return I jumped the opportunity to ask for his help in my search. I felt slightly manipulative that I asked a favor for my kindness, like it had a price, but I decided to utilize it nonetheless. He might have an item I saw on his desk, perhaps a file or paper that I needed to help my mission elsewhere in the school. He agreed and brought me in. I followed him up to his desk. The other students were curious why I was being allowed special privilege out of class. I suddenly become aware that I am clutching my chest because I am not wearing a top. My top half is exposed. Embarrassed I make sure I am covering my breasts up completely, but still feel I have a reasonable excuse that they should respect because of the other duties I take on. I explain away that I am half naked by saying "You saw what I was doing out there, I worked my ass off." Referring to my war game, I think. Somehow that made me lose my shirt? I was merely stating that to maintain my integrity in their eyes. I didn't really care too much though and figured they might not understand but they would still respect my unique situation. The teacher retrieved the item for me and I left. Someone else was with me. We were walking. I had to use the restroom before we went on. I directed us down the main hall, knowing this building layout better than my companion because it was my old elementary school.
In the bathroom was another female student (college age, like we all were). She was rather talkative. I sat to potty. The entire back wall behind the stalls was a black transparency looking into a dining area. People were sitting at tables eating like a restaurant. How odd. They could see anyone who used this facility going to the bathroom. Why are they there? I looked again to see two types of creatures, a bipedal deformed type with large eyes, unattractive in appearance, and a hairy one I couldn't distinguish as having any features except limbs. They had been in the parallel dimensional building behind this bathroom for a long while. The gal was going to leave but was forgetting something that fell out of her bag when she accidentally dropped it earlier near my stall. One of the prisoners behind the transparent black wall came into my field of vision through the stall in my realm to pick up the item she had dropped and give it to her saying she almost forgot it. He then retreated back to an ajar gate overlapping the dimension, where I sat in the bathroom, off to my back left. I should have seen the walls of my stall, but was actually seeing a gate in line with the back wall where the beings were looking through. The gal expressed disgust about the creature that helped her. I scolded her saying they are living beings too and deserve equal treatment. She shouldn't assume why they were there. I finished and needed to pull my pants back up. I accepted that they would just end up seeing my tush, stood and pulled up my pants without much humiliation. I just told myself I had a nice tush that I shouldn't be embarrassed about. Who knows how many beings could see through that wall.
The wall separating these two dimensions was like the see-through side of a one-way mirror, but without the mirror on the other side since they did interact with us and thus proved they were watching. They could go through their gate, so it wasn't a prison as I wondered. It was a gateway that generally is left closed but can be opened. Why were they watching such a private area? People would not react kindly to them, I imagine was part of that message with the other gal. I, myself might have some amount of fear, but never the kind of reaction she showed. I would be curious if I could overcome my fear of harm to myself and uncertainty of the creature's intent. So you can see through walls then. I figured. We don't really have privacy and that would certainly unnerve people. I don't mind. As long as you study us with good intention and no desire to hurt us, I don't mind. What are you studying us for? Just general information or more specific things? Would you introduce yourselves to me more directly in my next dreams? What is your relationships with any of the other beings I have been contacted by? Heheh. Why are you so hairy? Body temperature regulation?
Sick most of this night and day with lots of forced rest allowing many cycles for dreams.
Dreams: Running around an outside play structure. Feel the thrill of play like a child, but engaging in more adult kind of goal. Sparring game of elimination. Objective is to be the last one standing. Started off playing swords with different lengths of wood rods, not round, maybe hexagonal, cleanly made (no splinters or superficial irregularities), light tan color. Couple of us are showing off with them, pretending they are swords. Me and many guys my age are participating. We created the game after finding the rods. Quickly becomes a seek and destroy game. I strangle one, stab another, shuriken another (don't really kill, just imitate the moves and the kill is declared), duck in and out of the structure. I climb around acrobatically, swiftly. I try not to be seen by the other players pursuing. I choose carefully when to run, when to strike, all with a confidence that I have a wider array of skills and resourcefulness. I use the structure as cover and to confuse my opponent males who cannot as easily maneuver in and out, up and down the structure as I can. Down to one other. Had to climb away. Don't let him see I had just finished off the last person he was stumbling onto the scene of, so he is made to feel nervous that I could already be nearby watching and preparing to strike. A few of our friends who didn't think they had the skills to participate are standing on the sides of the play area (bark dust ground) to watch and cheer and cast insults. I am doing very well. My last challenger will be difficult. He is the best. He did spot me, I had to keep moving through the structure, down onto the ground. I ditched my weapons with each kill. Didn't pick up another one yet. Being hot on me, I reacted using my fear to drive me to climb up two ropes of thick chains (once held up a tire swing perhaps). He wouldn't be able to climb after me. The people on the sidelines awed at my surprising strength for my seemingly limited muscle. Now I'm up here, how do I win? I can't come down, he is a burly guy with a sword waiting for me. I act quickly, rocking the chains back and forth to swing at him. The heavy ends knock him down. Based on our world physics, I don't know that that should have worked, but they reacted to my imaginings. I imagined the chains to be controllable enough for me to whip them fast enough toward him that he doesn't have time to react before they are right on top of him.
I find this phenomenon quite a bit in testing scenarios in my dreams, where the circumstances seem influenced or manipulated by my will. If I can imagine a particular outcome as the event is occurring, it will likely happen as I decide it too. This suggests again that consciousness does create. I want to know how much it is creating though, and how much is it just reacting to presented problems.
There is some cause for me to vouch for my abilites "You've seen what I can do, you've seen my skills are superior that I could have beat them all myself."
Next scene: Rehearsing for choir. I have three folders; my music is separated between the different groups I'm in by color. 'How smart' I think to myself that I had organized them. Didn't remember doing that though, became apparent as I looked through each folder and the answer was provided to me. Which folder is the group I'm sitting with now? Still singing even though I don't have the music in front of me. Pay such close attention that I had practically memorized our pieces already. Need me to take notes and parts where that section is having trouble. I am depended upon as someone who is versatile who can do the difficult parts or where there aren't enough people to take and do them on my own. I can help others out as well, even if just for a few run-throughs until they get their part better. I enjoy my role, I feel valuable to the group and to the director. [This may have been the message my choir dreams were trying to get across to me, which I wasn't getting, and so have been repeated.]
Was doing something outside the class for a moment [where was I?]. Upon returning, director is standing outside away from class for a moment and asks to talk. He is having trouble and is feeling low in his abilities. I give him praise and reassurance. He is pleased and uplifted by my words. He thanks me sincerely and with humility. I encourage him back to the class. I say I had to do something before returning, which he understood, some other duty I had to perform. I was looking for something. As he was about to return I jumped the opportunity to ask for his help in my search. I felt slightly manipulative that I asked a favor for my kindness, like it had a price, but I decided to utilize it nonetheless. He might have an item I saw on his desk, perhaps a file or paper that I needed to help my mission elsewhere in the school. He agreed and brought me in. I followed him up to his desk. The other students were curious why I was being allowed special privilege out of class. I suddenly become aware that I am clutching my chest because I am not wearing a top. My top half is exposed. Embarrassed I make sure I am covering my breasts up completely, but still feel I have a reasonable excuse that they should respect because of the other duties I take on. I explain away that I am half naked by saying "You saw what I was doing out there, I worked my ass off." Referring to my war game, I think. Somehow that made me lose my shirt? I was merely stating that to maintain my integrity in their eyes. I didn't really care too much though and figured they might not understand but they would still respect my unique situation. The teacher retrieved the item for me and I left. Someone else was with me. We were walking. I had to use the restroom before we went on. I directed us down the main hall, knowing this building layout better than my companion because it was my old elementary school.
In the bathroom was another female student (college age, like we all were). She was rather talkative. I sat to potty. The entire back wall behind the stalls was a black transparency looking into a dining area. People were sitting at tables eating like a restaurant. How odd. They could see anyone who used this facility going to the bathroom. Why are they there? I looked again to see two types of creatures, a bipedal deformed type with large eyes, unattractive in appearance, and a hairy one I couldn't distinguish as having any features except limbs. They had been in the parallel dimensional building behind this bathroom for a long while. The gal was going to leave but was forgetting something that fell out of her bag when she accidentally dropped it earlier near my stall. One of the prisoners behind the transparent black wall came into my field of vision through the stall in my realm to pick up the item she had dropped and give it to her saying she almost forgot it. He then retreated back to an ajar gate overlapping the dimension, where I sat in the bathroom, off to my back left. I should have seen the walls of my stall, but was actually seeing a gate in line with the back wall where the beings were looking through. The gal expressed disgust about the creature that helped her. I scolded her saying they are living beings too and deserve equal treatment. She shouldn't assume why they were there. I finished and needed to pull my pants back up. I accepted that they would just end up seeing my tush, stood and pulled up my pants without much humiliation. I just told myself I had a nice tush that I shouldn't be embarrassed about. Who knows how many beings could see through that wall.
The wall separating these two dimensions was like the see-through side of a one-way mirror, but without the mirror on the other side since they did interact with us and thus proved they were watching. They could go through their gate, so it wasn't a prison as I wondered. It was a gateway that generally is left closed but can be opened. Why were they watching such a private area? People would not react kindly to them, I imagine was part of that message with the other gal. I, myself might have some amount of fear, but never the kind of reaction she showed. I would be curious if I could overcome my fear of harm to myself and uncertainty of the creature's intent. So you can see through walls then. I figured. We don't really have privacy and that would certainly unnerve people. I don't mind. As long as you study us with good intention and no desire to hurt us, I don't mind. What are you studying us for? Just general information or more specific things? Would you introduce yourselves to me more directly in my next dreams? What is your relationships with any of the other beings I have been contacted by? Heheh. Why are you so hairy? Body temperature regulation?
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