Oct 27, 2013

Swimming with the Fish

Finally! I achieved swimming in the water with creatures of the non-localized ether ocean (beings that travel beneath normal space). This marked another step in exercising my abilities and expanding the limitations of consciousness travel. Prior to this, I was always depicted swimming on the surface, and strictly warned again and again about the dangers of submerging completely in the waters of the ocean without knowing where I wanted to be, or having any sort of lifelines to tether me. The lifelines my subconscious used were my two childhood family friends whom I explored life together, and simply the childlike joy of wanting to explore. Bizarre individualized fish creatures wandered into the area myself and my close friends (I refer to one of them as my adopted sister, and the other, her brother, as my childhood sweetheart in other posts, to illustrate the quality of our relationships) were exploring. The water was shallow, never more than twelve foot deep, clear and bright, and the sand white and clean. Only three fish beings came through our little area before continuing out into the greater ocean, where we didn't wander toward. Our perimeter was set up to the edges of the raised sandy bottom.

Oct 22, 2013

A Mother's Plea

I know that abductees recall their experiences as far back as toddler-hood. My son is two and a half years old and has been waking up crying and calling for me, hurriedly running into my room or too terrified to move out of his bed, saying in the few words that he has "Scared. Dinosaur. Scared." I had thought, he must be having dreams about dinosaurs. I asked him one morning about it "Did you have a dream about a dinosaur last night?" His smile changed to seriousness and he nodded in confirmation "Dinosaur.." babbling and
gesturing to his room about being scared and seeing a dinosaur. Now I have never shown him real depictions or dinosaurs. We read books from the library sometimes featuring cartoonish and silly dinosaur characters. How he could have made a connection on his own that dinosaurs are scary leaves me with a terrifying reality, one in which might be more than just a dream. On another occasion, when my partner was watching him, my son woke up upset. My partner went in and my son simply handed him the new little dinosaur stuffed toy (purple and blue, very cute and nonthreatening) his grandmother gave him two weeks ago. Then he laid back down and fell asleep again. Somehow, putting the dinosaur in Daddy's care, away from him and where he slept, was (I can't stop crying as type this).. As his protector, and given my absolute love for him, I have been resisting the idea that he might be experiencing encounters that I cannot prevent or save him from. All I can think to do is activate my own guides to fight for him and tell him that no matter what anyone or anything says, that Mommy loves you, on the off-chance that these dinosaurs would try to manipulate him away from me. I won't let them take away the foundation I have worked so hard to provide of love and support. It's important to me, given my own history of childhood abuses, that he feels protected, that he has someone present in his life to rely on while he is young.

Oct 18, 2013

Discovering My Missions

Summary: Three dream sequences interrelated to defining roles I falsely believe will provide me satisfaction, while helping me envision a setup that captures the truer essence of my joy and purpose; how my desire to belong is misunderstood and hinders my ability to carry out my soul missions; highlighting one's strengths in a creative and fun way with a Character Sheet. 

I've needed a way to define what my missions are in life at this time, and what I'm wanting since I've been dreaming a couple nights lately of just the type of setup that would make me rather happy. Those two dreams featured me as a member of a group, led by someone I respect and seek the approval of. We are a community team of maybe five people handling strange jobs, though I don't understand the purpose. I just know I thoroughly enjoyed the tasks and the community was minimalistic. The sheriff at the police station, a good friend of our leader's, entrusted us to locate three missing white llamas that were reported escaped. These were special gifts for an exchange to take place as a sign of good faith with another community. They meant peace for our town. I drove around determined to find them. We searched through the dirt roads and streets overrun with grasses so that only the tire tracks marked the paths. I found one, Martin, and loaded him into the backseat, where he lay down. Another I sensed was being unrightfully claimed by a patron when it wandered into his yard. These llama were valuable, a prize to catch for a lowly farmer. One another was already caught by one of our teammates. I heard (information download style because it was not by radio) that this last one was being claimed and I felt comfortable to negotiate with the farmer with honesty of the situation, trusting he would relinquish claim for the good of his community. I was disappointed these other two were found before me, as I wanted to earn our leader's praise for catching them all. Still, I was satisfied to find the one right off and help negotiate for the third.

Oct 1, 2013

Spirit Walking

It's late, already 7pm and the sun is down, but only now is my family ready to go on a day trip to the mountain. I'm emotionally desperate to revel in nature that I don't care how late it is. My father expects we will just sleep in the vehicle when we arrive since it's so late already, but it won't hold us. A small train with two cars pulls up and the whole side of one car strips back to allow us entrance. The inside is divided into compartments. My dad says we are each receiving assigned roles and titles. I can sense the unattached frustration in his manner. [The dream a few days ago featuring him cleaning the debris and junk out of the yard showed him with the same attitude. I have not seen my dad in over 6 months. But I suspect he is reaching a turning point in the state of his life with regard to the conditions of his home and the lack of motivation and forward movement by the household.] This was a suggestion I made to him in email about how to lead by assigning titles and clear roles that utilize their skills, so the focus is on contribution to the whole and feeling valuable. He assigns us with letters, though, not something I recommended or was familiar with. I am assigned "A" to mean second in command, assistant to the leader. My sisters each get a letter following that. Then, my partner, he calls him Mulder from X-Files (haven't even gone through 2 seasons of the show, but the concept of two partners like Scully and Mulder have been included in my dreams before to depict that kind of investigative relationship), gets the same 'A' assignment. I am relieved, because he was sitting in the end compartment and would seem to get the last letter. But my father recognized his usefulness and his importance as my teammate.

Along our train ride, trouble strikes. A highly trained thief and assassin had stowed aboard. She is dressed in a red chinese kimono dress with very short sleeves. Her hair is black and pulled back with a stick. Lips that classic red that covers only the immediate center to look like she is puckering all the time, and powdered white face. Long dangly earrings.

Seeing Maps and Spelled Out Names

While killing time with my son after our outing to the library, sitting in the car waiting for him to settle down into his carseat, I pulled out a California map from my Atlas and searched yet again for the National Park I had found once before immediately after a dream with the white letters on black background spelled out in my mind just before I woke that read "Yosemite National Park." It was the strangest thing. I have never been to this park, nor had I heard of it in recent years, and it had no significance to me. Seeing maps and specific locations I've never seen before is one of the more exciting and bizarre elements of dreaming that lends it substance in the real world. Despite hours of studying three different maps, I couldn't find the damn park. I gave up. That was weeks ago. Then today, Google so happens to feature Yosemite NP in its logo because Yosemite celebrates its 123rd anniversary. I had the name download (dream?) earlier this year (2013; see link above).