Mar 9, 2013

To Serve

Night of March 6/7th 2013

I am in combat with giant hovering eyeballs (not beholders) with red veins. They don't do much. I am armed with a sword, slashing and thrusting like a kid again playing a make believe adventure game. Facility is evacuating. People are running out. Alarms going off like a fire drill. I have a partner who is the primary fighter. He has to go off to fight the boss eyeball, and I must protect these people. I question leaving me to fend for them alone. He runs off, insisting I will do fine. The responsibility concerns me and I tell myself to just strike. I cut down an eyeball in a room. Someone tells me the eyeballs are getting to the escaping crowds of people though. I panic and come out. In a reaction of faith I cast a storm spell over one of the eyeballs nearest the lines of running people. Funnily, I make the sound effects for the storm thundering lightning on the enemy. There is no actual visual that my spell worked. It was like I was playing pretend. I tell myself I wounded it, that it wasn't strong enough to be a finishing blow. I slashed it down. But I acknowledged to myself I wouldn't know if the spell actually had affect. I get hit, and act as I would if it really happened, but I felt no real pain. Again, I was playing true to it being pretend even though I believed it real.
No one saw the magic. I didn't see the magic, but I did protect them all and no one acknowledged that. I was their warrior and everyone was too stuck in pity and depression to show appreciation. Oh well. I knew what role I served. I thought this to myself. It was fun to 'play.' We were displaced to the coast, my lot on a cliff, including my family. My leader... who was it, I asked if s/he had returned yet. I said s/he had separated from me to fight the worst one. No one even saw the eyeballs. They didn't know they were invading. What were they running from then? Why did we evacuate? Something was happening or going to happen to the cities and places we were. I said our uncle lives below the cliffs in a nice living space built in the rock if we needed anything. I had input downloads of memories of this uncle before I told my family about him as a resource. I recommended we take inventory of videos people brought so the colony would have some kind of entertainment. I asked my sister to since she likes to inventory. She didn't want to; wouldn't contribute in the simplest way. I was frustrated at the lack of effort. I, who had just saved them already, had to do trivial tasks someone else who hadn't contributed could have done. Whatever. I went around to make a list. People brought what they could and I became concerned for surviving long-term.

The coast is cold and we were settled on the bare ground of the cliff with barely a wind break as any semblance of shelter. I knew our uncle had a hotel like place, but not everyone would fit. He had food and warmth. I didn't take my family there because I was serving more than my family.

What was most intriguing about this dream originally was that I fought these eyeballs. The magic was pretend. No one but us warriors even saw them. My magic might be invisible now, but I want to show them humanity's potential with light they can witness. Jesus did this. He said we all can do this.

Side note: I swear my dreams are more pleasant when I sleep in between my son and partner, as opposed to facing away on one side or on the couch.

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