Jun 28, 2013

Loving Thyself

One of my skills is being a companion and loving those I am soul-bounded to. Challenge to see myself as the higher beautiful and compassionate partner that I am, how my previous lovers from lifetimes ago saw me and continue to enjoy my company at times. The kind of pure love I've yearned to remember all this life is real somehow. With the spirit of my love we only show appreciation for who each other is and respect for what each other is doing. Our aura is merged, so we know what the other is feeling. In the physical expression process we move perfectly insync to one another's desires, that being always foremost to just be matching wavelengths to an eruption of pleasure. Pace, position, are all communicated as energy dialogue, instantaneous, without words, just a smooth exchange. Sex is a model and expression of that merging of consciousness.

In this recent encounter with his spirit, I had to match my perception of myself to his level by maintaining a constant vibration of focus back and forth between us until unification. We are engaged in each small reaction of feeling, need, and desire. Our awareness of each other vibrated so fast that we in essence became one consciousness for the span of the climax. Then there is a repel where we each feel re-energized, renewed as individuals from the merging. Keeping step with the vibration wasn't about thrusting rhythm or execution per se, but about maintaining telepathic connection, the physical mechanics came naturally. There was no judgment between us, only love and understanding in the most profound and simplest definitions of those concepts.

I want to do this all the time, the kind of unison. Both absorbing comfort and providing comfort. Help me hold onto this love and bleed it into my everyday living. I want to feel this more often. My soul is starving for this. Perhaps why I am always hungry in my dreams. Ooh, I just felt little holes of pleasant calm penetrate up through the neutrality in the center of my chest. It's not that I forget to replenish myself, I am always trying and aware of the need, but I am not replenishing myself with the right kinds of healthy foods. Our souls thrive on love energy. Whoa suddenly light-headed. I need a love diet makeover. Heehee.

Laying there afterward in relaxed peace, familiar memories from my forgotten dreams aligned in my consciousness. Startled by the familiarity of each vague memory woke me back to reality, feeling like the full sensation of my awareness spreading through my body. Each time I tried to pinpoint the memory it stopped moving, like an electron in The trick to getting myself to coast to sleep lately has been to consciously permit my imagination to run away on whatever tangents it wants to explore. In a matter of minutes, if I am doing it right and am relaxed enough, I can feel my consciousness pull awareness away from my extremities and lift just above my head. Any attempt to analyze by judgement anything I am seeing from my imagination results in a fall suddenly back into my body and my physical awareness is awake.

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