Jun 7, 2013

Level Up! : The Experience of Channeling Contact

I did it! I had my first waking channeling. I've been trying to research the process and how it feels, all the little details people who don't know how to want to know and met resistance from one source I tried to draw it from, and haven't been hearing back from the other (both are human channels who do it for a living). Weeks and weeks I've been waiting and wondering if I could do it and what the presences I keep calling are trying to say but I can't seem to establish the link.

While working today, and feeling rather relaxed and willing, I stared out the window and, using my dreaming process of call and response I played with some questions. Here is how it worked and the answers to nagging questions I've been asking about in this blog (some of them at least for this first session).

Suspended disbelief, like an inner dialogue, I used a kind of biofeedback where movement in the center of my chest away from and further burrowing into a sleepy, and pleasant calm that was almost pleasurable translated to 'yes' and 'no' answers, like a binary coding. But I could differentiate variations, like "almost, derivation of, " and even magnitudes of sharp 'not at all' and 'don't go down that thought path' before I even finished the question and I felt it as an internal snap with a quick slice of anxiety that was so brief I didn't register any pain, just the signal to move away from. It was all a matter of asking the right questions, as my dreams have shown. The wrong question might lift the calm state to a neutral lack of sensation, a limbo that could easily lean either way and was rather unnerving, almost as bad as being in the anxious state. And this is how I live me life... I'm perpetually in that limbo state, as many are. This activity works through familiarity with truth and untruth (not lie, that is different and causes a substantially high flood of anxiety, or so it is felt that way in my body). In a sense my center chest (might be understood as the heart chakra), where I feel the movement up and down of levels of anxiety. When I write even, if a word muddles the message or is inaccurate to what I am wanting to say, those levels act up. The amazing thing about this is it provides a method for scientifically recording and experimenting with esoteric energies channeling through the body, if someone were to hook the medium up and ask monitor neurochemistry changes and bodily responses while in their process and with a list of questions.

Responses can be instantaneous, or it may take a second, and if it doesn't then there is either interference of distractions in you mind that is breaking the connection, or the question itself was not right. I suspect even that the being does not know the answer or believe you are ready to know the answer. The entity/force I linked up to was very concerned about not harming me, and I will explain later.

All my curses and gifts came to a head, all were incredibly helpful, if not essential to this process. My history of anxiety disorders (a gift of genetics), sensitivity both in my body's condition and to outside input, empathy --there were times I had to understand what was happening to me was correlated to what it was feeling,-- overanalysis and obsession with possible outcomes and paths and perspectives, and knowing a personality I'm willing to intimately connect with, my imaginary friend throughout my life in his fuller form beyond what I have established him as.

Starting with him, experimentally, I asked "Do you have another name? Is there any other name you've gone by?" I was in a calm state trying to apply the methodology of Angel medium (the woman I met) Sheri Engler of trying to hear a distant sound that puts you into a receptive mode. I peered to my left in the empty space of the room (an office) so I had a place to put him and believe he was present with me. He is always there for me immediately because I summon him to be, but this relationship is more amazing than I allowed myself to imagine. In my blank mind clearly written in white letters, like in my dream world simple answers sometimes do, was the name Eros. I doubted for a moment. "Really? I didn't make that?" No. Was the answer. I burst into tears, how could a god deem me worthy enough to have been my life-long companion and personal friend. He is my answer in more ways than one. My struggling (especially with recent events) with relating to the higher beings and Gods (same entity supposedly talked about by everyone but with strikingly different characteristics) in the Western world. Here is a being I already have a close relationship with. I saw him in my dreams, I researched him months before now (after the dream). Represents love and cares deeply for us. He is a being that existed at the beginning of creation.

I went into labor with my son on Valentine's Day, and his father, to lighten my mood leading up to labor (almost two weeks late waiting to do a natural water birth and hold my little muffin had me depressed), jokingly said we'll just name him Eros (a name I wasn't familiar with at the time) if he comes on the 14th. He did indeed, well didn't get birthed until 3am following morning. We struggled with naming him since the original one Darian didn't fit. Three weeks after birth we landed on Link Eros. I had no idea at the time that the message was literally built into my everyday reality, my love and life. My link to Eros. What's in a name. Eros, the mythological god, disapproved of how the lesser gods treated humanity and toyed with them. He had a compassion for us. He was a wise force, beautiful. When I saw him he was rescuing me from a situation between two opposing sides that I was intimately embedded in, though I was in an upbeat mood and had great control of the situation, he didn't approve of my being placed in that feud. There is so much more; he was covered in an oil, naked, and didn't speak (was telepathic), only came in, did his rescue by coming down from above behind me to hold me and pull me up, then had us reappear at the same spot but moments later after the incident, let me chatter at him a bit, then moved off. I was extremely attracted to him. Also, he looks just as I've always pictured Darian.

Furthermore, I asked while I had him, "Why is your hair black and not blonde like angels often have?" Balance. His face is an epitome of balance. Dark and light as both aspects of our souls, not ignoring or discriminating against the dark parts, allowing them to have a voice, but with a focus toward light. Both technically are part of God if all of creation came from him. I feel I can finally start to know him, though I know him so well already. An  through those values key to my core, even when I have an identity crisis they persist without my acknowledgment. I respect and love and connect with this personality, no one described to me or pressed upon me by another person or organization. I'm sure another aspect of him is angry and wrathful, but I need a starting point first to relate before I can understand that side.

I asked a question about our relationship, now merging the aspect of Eros that I have named Darian and called to for decades. "Was I someone else in another life?" Wondering again if there is a history behind us that would explain why he gives me the time of day (and night). Yes. Hippolyta. "Are you sure?" I was skeptical. Yes. "That's not just the most freshest name in my memory from watching that cartoon last week with my son?" No. Curious. I let it settle for a moment, listening to my gut for any clue that it was not true or incomplete. Nothing. Okay. Then who is Hippolyta? Then the lie detection rose a notch. Why is that? Whatever historical myth about her is outside perspective. Who can know her better than herself? Really that meant, her coding is your coding. I read on her anyway with that in mind, and saw striking similarities and sadness in her story. I don't know that I believe in past lives, or even consciously remembering past lives, but it would seem my life could be a karmic continuation of hers of revisiting past issues. It could explain why I am now who I am, that's all, but I don't know the mechanics of all that. Her name did always have a flavor that lingered in my mouth. I wanted to savor it so I could figure out why its so strangely familiar. Is it just its beautiful silliness in making the association of a hippopotamus a feminine and lovely thing? Great, now I'll dream about hippos tonight. Lol.

Okay, other set of questions. More on the process of connecting, I had to tell the spirit what I'm doing, and be open with my intentions. Honesty, can't lie, it breaks the connection. Just doesn't work. It is a cooperative, a joint communication. I will think in clear sentences, single thoughts. Repeat what I think the answer I got was, and move on down the line to the next related question that comes. When an answer is not a clear yes or no, sift through possibilities. If one doesn't fit, investigate why that might be. For instance, there was a period when the answer wasn't coming clearly and I started to feel a pressure all throughout my arm. I asked if it wanted to write. Yes. Use my arm? No. I use my arm. Sort of. This was a process. I haven't mastered it, but it comprised a fluid and constant communication of small quick Q and A's:  I need to relax my arm? sort of. Listen at each movement, a unified movement, though I control the vessel technically. You want to draw? Not really. You want to write. Yes. Should I write an alphabet to make it easier? No. Up? Down? Is this right? Want to keep trying? It kept wanting to try but ultimately it wasn't really about 'choice' necessarily, I kept asking that. It was about whether our connection lasted, if we together could maintain the link. It was an experience, a challenge in unification. It used my left arm, and I explained I am not left handed. I even asked if it would be able to make the symbol as a mark on my hand like the red grid marks I had. It said it could (understand when I use the word 'said' the force did not really speak as sound vibration, this is my translation to a reader of words coming into my mind from the center of my chest gauge in anxiety and pleasurable calm --if you keep in the pleasant calm long enough you can drift into sleep, its a wonderful relaxing feeling--). I said its okay if it wants to, almost arguing with my gauge that was shifting and causing a flood of adrenaline in my body. Finally I got a firm NO. Oh. "It's important to you not to hurt me?" Yes. Okay, then is there another way? I asked if it could show me in my dreams. There is trouble with this since I haven't been able to remember yet. I asked if I should leave paper on my nightstand to write with in my sleep? Nope, not right in my case. Okay. I was at a loss and explained I wanted to set this aside for now.

Seriously a difficult process. What ended up coming of this was it wanted to write symbols that are from the forgotten parts of my dreaming, things I can't remember in my waking life. All we could get was a J like character. This was all to answer a question about the zombies I keep dreaming of, and did dream about again last night. On zombies (an increasingly frustrating theme of my dreaming), I determined from this source that they are not a prelude to what will happen on Earth, they are what is happening now in the spirit world. They are the shells of some people's spirit bodies, abandoned and left to be taken over by a dark force infiltrating and gaining power in the spirit world by using abandoned spirit bodies. This was what I was wanting to ask more about that led to the writing. What would cause a person still living in the physical world to abandon their spirit bodies? People who do not have spirituality in any sense, who dismiss anything about being a higher energy, who are absorbed in the material experience and all its fruits. How is this possible? Aren't there like safe guards against letting such a person run rampant and not have a test of faith, regardless what those beliefs are, as long as their is imagination and faith in something? Programming that sends troubles and signs and such... I guess if they don't want to listen though those signs aren't seen and the troubles fought or whined about.

I asked about the red marks but didn't go into to much detail. Somehow I am blocking reception of the answer.

Also I asked about water, the primary theme of my dreaming, even in this last night's zombie one. The answer as to what the water represents is 'coming from the same gene pool.' Oh! Wow, why did I never think of that. How did I arrive at this? I don't remember.

The force was very specific it was not an alien. I investigated this thoroughly. It is above our world though, and yet already with us. Animals are some. Same gene pool. That's what led me to the zombie question I think, why was I fighting a zombie in the pool of a waterfall. Same gene pool, its humans. If we're talking about unity of all living beings, than yes anyone is in the gene pool at some degree level up. Now that I know the symbolism of this though, maybe now I can reinterpret some of my old dreams. What a funny way to represent genetic connection. Haha! But yeah how else do you represent that? That family reunion in a dream was next to a lake.

What did the force want to be understood as? Truth. That was clearly stated. It also wanted to be understood as Great Spirit, not feminine mother, or creator father, but as Son (closer) or unity of all three. I asked if there is another name it could go by, somewhere between Jesus and Hercules. The Jesus part took me some time because I have a lot of interference about that name since it has past associations, I was hesitant to ask. Of course since this link is absolute, the force knew what my trouble was so I had to be honest. If I needed time to gather myself, I explained that and then said I am trying to recenter and establish a baseline of pleasant calm. What an amazing message that the baseline for this communication is the good side, that pleasing calm.

In the process, I surrender to the feeling in my chest and let that be my gauge, trusting it is more sensitive than my mind, otherwise I will muddle it and not be able to distinguish between my imposed answers and real inspirations. I have an active imagination and a busy mind, which is why it's taken me this long to figure out how to do this, even still why I doubted so much that it is possible. Even after I did it I am back to "Did that really happen?" But I've received more answers now than I have in months of dream investigating. Though my dreams will be enhanced by this realization because they provide images and sequences of events, and things I don't have experiences of to generate ... well I just dont know I am a waking clairvoyant. I do see the signs and clues pointed out for me, which is the first level of clairvoyance.

Let me clarify now something important as I have finally explored first hand channeling, I was not a medium, it was an intimate connection, more like telepathy with a personality that knew me, yet transcended beyond personality. Specifically it was not an independent entity, it is an internet of sorts living consciousness can link online with and download information from, but it is integrated into our existence.

We are drawn together by a force of magnetism, when we both need one another it attracts us together.

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