Jul 12, 2013

Red Grid Marks Case Report #3 - My Case, Jennifer

See Investigations Page for a complete list of posts related to the Red Grid Marks phenomenon on this blog, including the two other testimonials of people around the world who have experienced these marks.

My interest in this phenomenon came from personal experience. I awoke from a nap November 27th, 2012, drenched in sweat, which prompted me to take a shower. As I stepped into the stream, and rose my hands to wash my face, I noticed on the heels of both my palms were 2" x 2" inch plus signs of freckle-like red dots. The red dots were subdermal, not raised or indented, but equal level to the skin, and not circular, but honey-comb shaped. Nevertheless, they were arranged in a grid, with each dot equidistant apart. The slants went opposite directions between the two hands. I lined the marks up by bringing my hands together. They were a mirror image of each other that oddly brought my hands together in a praying manner to verify.

Most cases I have read about and interviewed for had no pain or long-term discomfort from the appearance of their marks. Mine seems to be an outlier to that. Like most, I recall a vague burning sensation on my hands while I was asleep, though I cannot recall any dream or visuals. I was left with a sense that I could almost remember, like it was on the tip of my tongue. Whether this is forgetfulness, inability of that memory to encode properly, or some kind of blocking or memory manipulation, I do not know and will not propagate further paranoia and fear regarding mysteries of the unknown and fringe sciences. The discomfort I felt was an aching, throbbing up and down both my arms from my elbows to my hands for the entire day after the marks appeared. Doing anything with my hands was difficult because my motor functions were impaired. I was concerned I had developed tendonitis and my writing career would be over before it started, despite my youth. Rather than panic, I chose to give it some time. Sure enough, it subsided by the following morning. Never had I experienced that kind of symptom, before or after that incident. It felt like I had received a serious vaccination shot in both my arms, pushed into my bloodstream at the butts of both palms, and that left the marks. This is why my leading theory for a while was that they are vaccination marks. Imagine the soreness you feel in your upper arm after a shot, that type of soreness, but spread out and magnified throughout both forearms. There was not a spot from my elbow down to my hands that did not ache in waves.

Quite a contradiction that I, perhaps the only one of this small group who has witnessed these patterned marks on their body who did experience

I have, on many occasions, searched through my usual dreaming methods for answers about these marks. I repeatedly come up empty of any direct answer, which tells me it is complex. Whenever I ask a sincere question that is not answered through my dream within the following two nights, it means (as evidenced through my further experimentation) the question is at fault (inaccurate for the topic I wish to know about), and should be rephrased after further information is gathered about other surrounding topics that lead to the one in question. If I want to know how a function creates a shape on a graph, I first should learn that 2 + 2 = 4. I suspect we simply cannot know the whole story yet. Dreams are a reorganizing of familiar content. We provide the content, even if that imagery or idea is as simple as knowing colors and shapes. The mind truly can build new things from fundamental pixels. It will appear new to the observing consciousness. So, basically, I have confronted adequate information or images for my dream guides to build a experience to show me why these marks happen. The fact I don't have that information means I am not ready to know yet, and my spirit guides don't waste time when there are so many other pressing things that can be taught now. Somewhere in this library is a book on this phenomenon, and I will find it.

Details Surrounding Incidence of the Marks

In the spirit of data gathering, here are my thoughts and feelings that led up to when the marks appeared, in the event that what we think and feel might have contributed to its occurrence.

I sometimes play pretend with myself, concocting fantastical interactions and stories to fulfill a deep need for companionship. These episodes are like daydreaming, letting my imagination indulge down an intriguing plot. I tend to clarify things for myself during these sessions, and have come to recognize them as acted out channeling conversations with my guardian spirit, in which we play various roles and relationships together. I am essentially pretending he is a living presence there beside me with whom I converse with in a make believe setting.

The night before the marks appeared I was consulting my guardian in a particular plotline that would help me flesh out the logic and details of many holes in my understanding of what may be going on between the spirit/ET beings, angels, and humans. In the scenario I created (everything is spur of the moment), Darian, my guardian, is tasked with protecting me and helping me develop under the apparent pretense that we will work together at some point in our evolution. The challenges I must master are, for one, finding faith, something core to believe in that will serve as a strength and power for me against the demons that feed on fear and can manipulate my consciousness into submission.

I am trying to respect higher law by resisting my hope to be intimate with him. He is forbidden by spirit standards to engage with me sexually. He alludes to his species being natural feeders on human life, and that his rank and status and assignment to me are permitted because his species, guided by an even more enlightened and intelligent species, has worked for ages to control their hunger impulses.

The drawback to establishing faith in a higher design and loving force is my need to connect individually, inherent in my soul as a trait, to understand pure connection by merging in this expressive way. How was I to embody love if I was denied permission to experience it with the being I felt most strongly for?

I beseeched Darian to unleash his monster side, despite his insistence against it. He didn't want to hurt me, but he struggled so much, it seemed pointless to carry on blindly expecting our task was to restrain ourselves. Even if he harmed me, it was preferable knowing I could see the completeness of him and love it all.

At my warm pull, he succumbed and unleashed his other half, a dragon-like creature. When his hunger subsided, he regained control to find he had killed me. I died happy, but he was wracked with guilt. He came to his own grievous conclusions that the quiet beings in robes with cantalope skin who setup our arrangement used me to quell his dark side for a time so he could continue his work. He felt he had been deceived, that he was the one they were aiding, not her/me.

He was demoted, though, as his faith diminished and his determination to help others waned. Was it a lesson for him? It did not help the greater whole to concentrate all his love to one person at the expense of others, himself, or the one he loves. But how could it be wrong to arrive at love, even in this way? Is love not the point? He felt punished for becoming to invested in her alone, and failing his duty to have helped her ascend.

But he had. She was resurrected in a spirit body and assigned to him as a partner, but appeared different from her physical body. He didn't realize it was her until much later. Really they achieved exactly what they were tasked to do, help her advance. She did so by surrendering herself to heal him, showing her faith in him and in the joy of merging, even at her own risk. She accepted her inner truth, which was one in the same as that greater forces. The challenge was not in resisting something that didn't feel wrong to the inner self, it was having the courage to listen to that inner truth despite how it refused their belief of the imposed standard by this advanced guiding species of programmers and messengers. She brought love out in accordance with her skills and beliefs, though her method was stigmatized. Such a partnership, if monitored and guided, will produce more love output than any other way they could conceive of as physical beings. When done for the purpose of soul merging, rather than empty satisfaction, it is a generator, a source.

Another possible influence as to the occurrence of the marks for me was prior to falling asleep I was pondering questions I had almost dared not to ask before. Jesus performed magical feats of healing and gravity-defying stunts. His body was mortal, since it could die. But what yielded him his power? He said his faith did, and that humans are capable of the same abilities. Jesus wasn't necessarily an angel, but I contemplate their form and nature often. Humans simply are not angels. Different species. I function best by reconciling the darkness/evil and light/good inherent in my soul, definitions based on biblical ideals. Do angels have the same needs as we do? Do they have sex? What is their merging like? Did Jesus, having a physical body, have all the needs that come with the body? Did Jesus enjoy intimate companionship and sexual contact? I would have been very gratified to provide such caring companionship to someone of such spirit and love, to tend to his body like one might wash his feet, but appreciate the private difficulties a leader such as he would face in his mission. I stepped out of my box by indulging the train of thought that I used to suppress out of concern that giving it the time of day would be welcoming deceptive logic and lean me closer to ... well, the dark side. How silly that sounds. But it honestly has been a motivating concern for me in all my curiosities. One of my skill classes is analytical thinking and perspective consideration though, so I should exercise it whenever it is as persistent as this pondering was.

Maybe this is imagined -after reading Karla Turner's book and the bizarre experiences memory regression therapy has turned up, maybe it's not so crazy- but I swear I was answered in response to those musings. The charge seems neutral, not neg. or pos. response, but I couldn't recall the relevant images, like they really were blocked in the recesses of my mind, and the connection to accessing them was severed, though I know a new memory had formed. I also had the vaguest sense that I had been outside just in the parking space adjacent to my room. Actually, come to think of it, I had a dream a few weeks ago that a tall figure wearing that common black sweater/armor uniform was carrying me back inside the gate, like he was bringing me home from something. We came from a dimensional rift of some kind because there was a ripping or folding of space. The space that I know of this density seemed like a grey background to this overlapping realm pulled to the forefront to allow us crossing, then when it lapped closed, this material world came to front in color. Think how multiple windows on a computer screen works. One will come to the front as the active one, while the others are grayed in the background. Swore there was a ship and time spent on the ship and its all on the tip of my tongue but I can't bring that forward.

When I awoke with the marks, I was damp with sweat. Rarely am I ever this sweaty, I usually kick the blankets off or wake up to adjust if I get too warm or uncomfortable, but I had been cooking under that blanket without a reaction. I recall a vague burning sensation. How did I not take note of why that was happening? I felt angry at myself for 'letting' it happen and not remembering. The sense that I had a dream or new memory that was being blocked felt like the edges of the image of what my mind's eye is trying to summon is colored, but the center space of the image is blacked out, like an eclipse. How do I remove those blocks, if that is what they are? It's time I read a little more on memory regression.

I've woken up repeatedly throughout my life with two insect bite marks on my wrists, neck, and collar bone area. I always joked about it saying my imaginary friend, Darian, who is part Dragon/reptilian and part human with vampiric tendencies bit me in the night -only lately have I wondered if this was not a product of pure imagination but if the species combination I assigned him was actually an orchestration, given my reptilian dreams, though I never had particular interest in reptiles.

My thoughts prior to the marks about Jesus made me wonder if this was an occurrence of stigmata because they were on my hands. But the placement doesn't fit. The center wrists or palms would make more sense, not the heel of my palms. Would I offer myself to endure stigmata if it meant a physical sign of Watchers influence and extra-dimensional existence? Not usually considered a positive thing. It would not change my doubt about their intentions if they are willing to harm.The question remains for me:  how do I decide what would provide clear contact without endangering either of us? Is there a way for me to force their hand? Otherwise, I guess I stick to dreaming.

After this event, I decided to research Mary Magdalene and gauge an answer to the questions I asked before the nap. She was favored among all the disciples by Jesus, which led to displays of jealousy by the others. He is said to have kissed her more frequently than the others (as greetings; suggested by historian). Magdalene may have been the Mary whom Jesus helped clear of the seven desires of flesh and lust. She was acknowledged as his choice traveling companion.

The marks faded four hours later. I couldn't get a clear picture of them with my phone (shitty flip phone). Were they the result of an information download or a blood draw or inoculation?

If you have any information to add, or a personal case study for me to cover, please contact me at experientialdreaming@gmail.com.

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