Mechanized Youth

I'm telling you right now I have no idea what this next dream meant. Understand I dream every night, most are vivid enough for me to remember, only a few get recorded because some of them end up being so complicated with details I can't figure out how to even record it in words and sentences. Honestly, some of time its just so exhausting to spend time to record each one that I think on it instead throughout the days and hope it will become clearer. I see those more strange ones as being signals I'm not tuned to filtering yet. Like a station I just upgraded my equipment to receiving and its still coming through garbled. I haven't figured out how to clear up the signal. The themes and images will repeat themselves down the road when my antennae is more sensitive and tuned to reading those signals.

Dream Nov. 29/30th 2013

[Note: My son is named Link, and I have recently been playing Zelda Skyward Sword. We bought it a couple years ago and haven't dedicated the time to playing, my partner working 50-60 hr weeks, dealing with our toddler, house maintenance and chores, and writing occupy our time.]

(Out of order, an ending sequence) In this end scene I am pushing Link, my son, through a maze in a construction of a labrynth in Zelda. We pick up the last tear of the collection puzzle race, retrieve a new cat familiar [not sure where that element came from], and rush him into a microwave oven where his electronic player panel molded into his back can be registered to mark his completion. The results are printed out and I'm disappointed to learn that we took a 14 day hiatus. Other competitors finished the day of the initial race. We were way late. I explained to him that we wouldn't get any prizes or compensation because we had to pause our in-game play for too long while we tended to other matters. I had the memory download of when we started the game 14 days ago, but I guess I figured the in-game time was paused as well as our presence in the game. It had carried on ticking during that time away. I misunderstood the rules. We had a good shot at winning too if we were able to have carried on from the first day.

What were those other matters?

Scene change:  I'm with my family. We've received a letter from our dead grandmother. My dad calls someone at the listed location where she's having her wedding to explain that if this is indeed a wedding invitation then his mom has been forced into the engagement. She met this guy named Ted maybe 8 months ago. I'm skeptical of my dad's intentions. His dad, my grandfather, her husband, died years ago. I never knew him. Could he not believe that she was lonely and finally met someone who made her happy again? I argued with him in defense of my grandmother preparing for exactly what the letter says and that she is happy with him. Even if they don't last, she deserves my dad's support for her to make her own decisions and not assume she's being manipulated or blinded.

"Where's she having the wedding?"
"They're staying at her friend, Joss Whedon's, place for the wedding."
A confusing cross over of scenes erupts in my mind. "Wait, Grandma is friend's with Joss Whedon? I had a strange dream [dream within a dream] recently where I'm at Joss Whedon's place he's renovating, preparing for something. It's a cabin, but with three large connected rooms, and he's laying down fresh tile. How weird, right?"

[My partner informed me while I was telling his this dream today that he has a bizarre tie-in. Joss apparently filmed his next Shakespeare movie at his house. Two ideas I've been trying to work about dreaming are does information transmit between people with close relationship, and can information be easily received when enough collective thought and attention are devoted to it by others, unrelated to the channeler?

This may be building off a similar discovery I had yesterday while watching the first episode of the TV show Leverage. In the opening scene the lead character is sitting at a nice bar. I leap out of my seat in surprise and say "I know that bar, I've been looking for that bar! Where is that?" Leverage was filmed in my home town of Portland. I saw this bar in a particular dream that has lingered on my mind over the months because I was divided into two selves:  one bathed in light that enjoyed intimate time with my partner in a beautiful hotel room, the other was under a soul contract to terminate the lighted expression of me. I switched perspective between the two expressions of myself as my dark half carried out a surprise assault on my partner and I as we lay in bed. Read the whole story here.

"Is that a hotel bar?"
"Yeah I think so." Jim said.
"I've seen that place before. But I've never been there. And instead of the fireplace, that was the front entrance, though I knew it was oddly placed." In the dream context compared to the actual location's layout, when I ran from my dark self out of the hotel onto a cliff top viewing platform, I was running into the fireplace. I adventured down the cliff face dodging flash grenades she dropped at me from the hilltop. Perhaps I have been there before, I don't know.]

The final sequence I remember is being with an older woman dressed, like me, in elegant clothing and jewelry. We were queens. Our appearance reflected personal choices as if her own imagination produced the dress and styling she wore, as did my own for me. I appreciated the similar beauty she dressed herself in as my own, though I had figured her personality to hold no gentle compassion that her appearance before me expressed. It was a pleasant reminder of the complexity of the human soul.

There are large floating island-like ships in the sky. Our kingdoms? There is a sense of a drawn out war being the reality of this land, a war we both opposed and thought the wrong way to go about achieving the goal of the kingdom's we represented. We are on ground away from whatever elegance we may be from. We both come from a kind of poverty of spirit and have built our way up to be personalities of respect and representatives of the people.

A small ship drops down to release passengers. The ship is dark gray. Cyborg children are walking off. They were converted into these machinations against their will, because they had no where else to turn, they were picked up and used as soldiers by the machine race that we wage war against. I know if anyone else from my clan had been here to witness their release into the land, they would have killed them. But I couldn't bring myself to feeling they still contained the soul and body of the children our society failed. The machines recruit our outcasts and forgotten. I chase after them, asking them questions desperately to gain insight into the process.
One turns around and speaks with the same voice she had before the process. How much of who they are
really changed? Seems they were only given added programming, not wiped and made into automotons.
On each of them is a different part made of gold instead of the same dark gray material that covers the rest of their body. The gold highlights in my memory. What purpose does the gold play? They each show the gold or touch it favorably, like it was there prize for being converted, their incentive. They got to share in the wealth of the rich, but at a high price.
Finally I ask the most pressing question on my conscience:  "Did it hurt?" I say to the girl turning to follow down the path with her comrades.

A voice next to me answers "No. It didn't hurt." I look over into the face of a tiny infant still in its blanket, but fixed and weaved painfully into a pair of thin mechanical legs. The blanket had become fused to its skin as part of him, and his skin had a cold blue tint like death. The sight horrified me. I watched as they walked down the path, wondering where they were going, if they were even given instructions or just released as free agents until they were needed.

(Images were from Star Trek Voyager, the Borg race).

Both scenes showcased youth being pushed to fulfill obstacles and converted with technological alterations. Maybe a metaphor for how we abuse our children by encouraging a desire for material gain and to be above others or to long for the ease of living wealth and high status represents to those struggling to survive and find loving connection. The empty promises or failing promises that become lies. Our wealth, mine and the older woman's, was self-generated. We still related with those on Earth. I want to raise Link to create his own spiritual wealth, the confidence of knowing who he is and what he stands for, not to accumulate empty material gains.

Dialogue with Dream Programming

The mind is a receiver, tuning to a station is simply a matter of thought. Ideas, desires, emotions all have charge that attract information. Although I cannot anticipate what I will dream about or why ideas I had thought about recently formed the story of images they did to depict themselves, I have managed to have an increased awareness and bleed through of my waking personality and thought processes during dreaming. I'm able to question the choices of the dream's programming while in the dream as my avatar self.

Dream Night of Nov. 28/29th 2013

Alone in a house that is mine. A group that lives on the outside, moving town to town, is in my area. Their leader is a man I'm trying to avoid. He likes to torment me by invading my home, show little regard for its cleanliness, and indulge himself sexually in our tense attraction. I try to keep him out, not wanting to succumb to him. He comes in uninvited, using my place as a rest stop for his group.

Knowing came around that he was in the area again. I lock up my doors and windows and gates. As I'm setting the last gate, I see him through a crack in the wood panels. He pushes it open, and I relent. He knows I'm here now and I can't stop him from coming in. My effort to keep him out offended him. I was upfront explaining why I didn't want him here, that he disrespects my home, and tempts me away from my partner. "I love my family, I need to protect us." I say to him. He takes one look into my house and sees the baby gear everywhere. His mood changes. He becomes reserved and insists he'll leave us alone.

What a shock. That's unlike him. Why would he be so willing to ignore another chance to abuse his power over me? He leaves through the gate, showing me a glance of a beautiful dark-haired woman lain on a bed in a white dress in the initial throws of labor. I push the gate open with sparked interest. He has a pregnant woman in his band this time around, either one of his or someone he picked up. I walk directly to her with a strength of conviction. Someone in the group points me out to the leader. He looks up in surprise and displeasure. "Wait, no. What are you doing? I don't want your help." He says to me. I don't listen, I go to the woman who hasn't quite started the birthing process, but will soon. "She needs someone who knows about birth, which none of you do. I have the right setup for her with all the baby stuff already. There is no where better for her to be." I direct them to take her in.

Marine Creatures with Thermal Burns

Summary: Continuation of communication with water beings; Trying to woo my sweetheart, finding strange coins washed ashore; Childish in-fighting and unjustified territory and resource control.

Night of 25/26th November 2013

I'm in a cabin nestled in a hill under trees just before dusk. A few dim lights are on around the house. Rain poured during the night and into the early morning creating lines of water across the windows. My old friend, Kristin, is there. It's her parent's home, but it's nothing like her parent's home in my waking reality. There is no television, its a small, but modern home with wide windows and a low ceiling. I'm enjoying looking out the windows, absorbing the peace of the natural setting. Only a few other small residences line the hill further up, we are closest to the edge of the water, a bay, or mouth where a lake bleeds out into a river. I had the distinct sense that water flowed from the larger body into the river, not reverse, which implies a lake draining down by means of a river. This becomes an important distinction later.

I catch movement where the treeline meets the lake, and can't believe what I see. An upright, large brown bird humanoid (like the brown eagle woman that shapeshifted when she landed in the dream preceding my abduction) is folding its wings in and hovering through the trees along a stream and up the hill, curving around the cabin. I know in this moment of the dream that I had not seen one of these beings for a year and a half. Half in disbelief, I change vantage points to a different window to see if I can catch a glimpse of it through the trees as it turned up the stream. It comes into view again, changing red as it moved. Its feet, shaped like boots, hover a few feet above the ground. It's not flying, it's not walking. It's moving at an inexplicable hover parallel with the ground without moving its feet or wings. It's wings have folded in, covering its head and torso. I think its morphing but I don't catch what it's morphing into, only assume from the previous experience that it is shapeshifting to appear human.

"Did you see that?!!" I yell to my friend. "I can't believe it. Did you see?"
"See what?"

I look further up the road where it had gone and see two men walking down that pass it at a backwards angle. They must have noticed it, I think to myself. They are chatting and gesturing intently with one another. One dark haired, one blonde. They are wearing similar outfits and scarves. Uniforms of some kind? I was hopeful that these residents saw the bird being and could verify my sighting, then I realized... they are hovering too, but in a different fashion from the bird. They are walking on air a foot and a half above the beaten cement, one lane road. I fixate on this. How are they doing that? Are they aware that they're doing that? Is there cloaked road beneath them? Does it form only for them?

Existence in Solid state and Non-localized state

(See updated Theories page of this blog for overview of some of my major investigative working conclusions. Also see updated About page for common terminology definitions.)

Update to the forms ocean dwelling beings take in and out of the ocean of nonlocality. I dreamed I'm searching for a quick spot to fish with my father along a country road before the rain comes. There is already some flooding. Another truck zooms by us away from the mountain wilderness and into town to beat the storm. We spot a small, flooded pond that climbed the bank up to the driveway down to it. We fished off the concrete road that disappeared into the relatively little body of water.

Close to the shore I saw pairs of angel fish facing one another kissing. Beautiful sparkles and ribbons of blue, pink, and purple streamed from their kissing faces. They're making love, I thought, if love itself had a physical appearance. There were also long grey fish that looked like bass swimming colorlessly around. On top of the water were the strangest thing, floating spirits of angel fish wandering about, pursing their lips at the water here and there. I'm not sure if they were doing some kind of maintenance or gathering excess bits of love streams. I signaled to myself right there in the dream (my investigative thoughts have been highlighted to my dream self lately when updates occur) that I may have been inaccurate in my previous conclusion from water dreams before. Based on my previous water dream, what are represented as marine life are beings that only survives in the conditions of the ocean of nonlocality. In other words, they are beings of pure consciousness, or souls, that do not exist in solid state reality. But in this latest dream, a different idea to correct my previous assumption and enhance my overall understanding of how the ocean works, is a distinction between souls of these water dwelling beings, and their solid forms in the ocean. These water beings that exist entirely in the ocean (humans exist outside of the ocean on land, represented as land and buildings and play structures in my dream metaphors, but we can still swim in it via sleep and meditation) exist in as solid of form in ocean as we do on land. In order to exit the water and come into our medium, they must be formless energy. When they do so, they cling to the surface of the water from whence they came. To put it bluntly, there are sentient entities that freely move through the realm of pure consciousness, and for them to exist in our solid realm, they appear as spirit.

Red Marks - Case reported to MUFON #2

 Summary: New case study for red grid marks phenomenon; comparing and contrasting similarities of this case to others and evaluating legitimacy of marks as to be categorized with the other cases; introduction to experiment author/editor is conducting with red marks experiencer and ongoing experiencer of levitation and invasive visitations "Michael" from case study #1 about cracking the case of the red grid marks.

A woman filed a report with MUFON about a July 2013 incident where she awoke from a restless sleep with fatigue and an unusual mark on her leg.

The triangular shaped set of bruises seen above appeared first on experiencer's outer thigh of the right leg, then a similar one appeared on the other leg, inner thigh "about a week later". Woman is 59 with physical ailments. The picture shows significant bruising at the knee and at various spots around the bottom leg, possibly related to whatever medical problems she admitted having. Bruising is a common symptom of many blood disorders, including poor circulation found in obese patients. Frequent bruising would statistically produce a recognizable shape or patterned set of bruises or bruise eventually, so it's tough to call this one a truly strange event. However, the case may also be made that whatever force causes the other marks of the phenomenon might have utilized a present condition to mask evidence of their tampering.

Swimming with the Fish

Finally! I achieved swimming in the water with creatures of the non-localized ether ocean (beings that travel beneath normal space). This marked another step in exercising my abilities and expanding the limitations of consciousness travel. Prior to this, I was always depicted swimming on the surface, and strictly warned again and again about the dangers of submerging completely in the waters of the ocean without knowing where I wanted to be, or having any sort of lifelines to tether me. The lifelines my subconscious used were my two childhood family friends whom I explored life together, and simply the childlike joy of wanting to explore. Bizarre individualized fish creatures wandered into the area myself and my close friends (I refer to one of them as my adopted sister, and the other, her brother, as my childhood sweetheart in other posts, to illustrate the quality of our relationships) were exploring. The water was shallow, never more than twelve foot deep, clear and bright, and the sand white and clean. Only three fish beings came through our little area before continuing out into the greater ocean, where we didn't wander toward. Our perimeter was set up to the edges of the raised sandy bottom.

A Mother's Plea

I know that abductees recall their experiences as far back as toddler-hood. My son is two and a half years old and has been waking up crying and calling for me, hurriedly running into my room or too terrified to move out of his bed, saying in the few words that he has "Scared. Dinosaur. Scared." I had thought, he must be having dreams about dinosaurs. I asked him one morning about it "Did you have a dream about a dinosaur last night?" His smile changed to seriousness and he nodded in confirmation "Dinosaur.." babbling and
gesturing to his room about being scared and seeing a dinosaur. Now I have never shown him real depictions or dinosaurs. We read books from the library sometimes featuring cartoonish and silly dinosaur characters. How he could have made a connection on his own that dinosaurs are scary leaves me with a terrifying reality, one in which might be more than just a dream. On another occasion, when my partner was watching him, my son woke up upset. My partner went in and my son simply handed him the new little dinosaur stuffed toy (purple and blue, very cute and nonthreatening) his grandmother gave him two weeks ago. Then he laid back down and fell asleep again. Somehow, putting the dinosaur in Daddy's care, away from him and where he slept, was (I can't stop crying as type this).. As his protector, and given my absolute love for him, I have been resisting the idea that he might be experiencing encounters that I cannot prevent or save him from. All I can think to do is activate my own guides to fight for him and tell him that no matter what anyone or anything says, that Mommy loves you, on the off-chance that these dinosaurs would try to manipulate him away from me. I won't let them take away the foundation I have worked so hard to provide of love and support. It's important to me, given my own history of childhood abuses, that he feels protected, that he has someone present in his life to rely on while he is young.

Discovering My Missions

Summary: Three dream sequences interrelated to defining roles I falsely believe will provide me satisfaction, while helping me envision a setup that captures the truer essence of my joy and purpose; how my desire to belong is misunderstood and hinders my ability to carry out my soul missions; highlighting one's strengths in a creative and fun way with a Character Sheet. 

I've needed a way to define what my missions are in life at this time, and what I'm wanting since I've been dreaming a couple nights lately of just the type of setup that would make me rather happy. Those two dreams featured me as a member of a group, led by someone I respect and seek the approval of. We are a community team of maybe five people handling strange jobs, though I don't understand the purpose. I just know I thoroughly enjoyed the tasks and the community was minimalistic. The sheriff at the police station, a good friend of our leader's, entrusted us to locate three missing white llamas that were reported escaped. These were special gifts for an exchange to take place as a sign of good faith with another community. They meant peace for our town. I drove around determined to find them. We searched through the dirt roads and streets overrun with grasses so that only the tire tracks marked the paths. I found one, Martin, and loaded him into the backseat, where he lay down. Another I sensed was being unrightfully claimed by a patron when it wandered into his yard. These llama were valuable, a prize to catch for a lowly farmer. One another was already caught by one of our teammates. I heard (information download style because it was not by radio) that this last one was being claimed and I felt comfortable to negotiate with the farmer with honesty of the situation, trusting he would relinquish claim for the good of his community. I was disappointed these other two were found before me, as I wanted to earn our leader's praise for catching them all. Still, I was satisfied to find the one right off and help negotiate for the third.

Spirit Walking

It's late, already 7pm and the sun is down, but only now is my family ready to go on a day trip to the mountain. I'm emotionally desperate to revel in nature that I don't care how late it is. My father expects we will just sleep in the vehicle when we arrive since it's so late already, but it won't hold us. A small train with two cars pulls up and the whole side of one car strips back to allow us entrance. The inside is divided into compartments. My dad says we are each receiving assigned roles and titles. I can sense the unattached frustration in his manner. [The dream a few days ago featuring him cleaning the debris and junk out of the yard showed him with the same attitude. I have not seen my dad in over 6 months. But I suspect he is reaching a turning point in the state of his life with regard to the conditions of his home and the lack of motivation and forward movement by the household.] This was a suggestion I made to him in email about how to lead by assigning titles and clear roles that utilize their skills, so the focus is on contribution to the whole and feeling valuable. He assigns us with letters, though, not something I recommended or was familiar with. I am assigned "A" to mean second in command, assistant to the leader. My sisters each get a letter following that. Then, my partner, he calls him Mulder from X-Files (haven't even gone through 2 seasons of the show, but the concept of two partners like Scully and Mulder have been included in my dreams before to depict that kind of investigative relationship), gets the same 'A' assignment. I am relieved, because he was sitting in the end compartment and would seem to get the last letter. But my father recognized his usefulness and his importance as my teammate.

Along our train ride, trouble strikes. A highly trained thief and assassin had stowed aboard. She is dressed in a red chinese kimono dress with very short sleeves. Her hair is black and pulled back with a stick. Lips that classic red that covers only the immediate center to look like she is puckering all the time, and powdered white face. Long dangly earrings.

Seeing Maps and Spelled Out Names

While killing time with my son after our outing to the library, sitting in the car waiting for him to settle down into his carseat, I pulled out a California map from my Atlas and searched yet again for the National Park I had found once before immediately after a dream with the white letters on black background spelled out in my mind just before I woke that read "Yosemite National Park." It was the strangest thing. I have never been to this park, nor had I heard of it in recent years, and it had no significance to me. Seeing maps and specific locations I've never seen before is one of the more exciting and bizarre elements of dreaming that lends it substance in the real world. Despite hours of studying three different maps, I couldn't find the damn park. I gave up. That was weeks ago. Then today, Google so happens to feature Yosemite NP in its logo because Yosemite celebrates its 123rd anniversary. I had the name download (dream?) earlier this year (2013; see link above).

The Worm Connection

Summary: Manmade flying object confiscated by reckless locals; Swamp water transfers worm-like creatures that burrow in my skin, and the effort to expel them from my body; Invading worm creatures Metaphorical analysis of meaning of water throughout my dreams, followed up with plan to induce particular dream imagery that would validate my theory.

Nights Sept 27/28th 2013 and many other dreams referenced not recorded elsewhere

I step onto a low dock over a swamp. It's after dusk so the sky holds faint light over the horizon, but the sky is mostly purple and dark blue with many clouds. There may have been a rainstorm earlier that day. My attention is toward the sky, so details of the swamp are vague. An orange star-like object moves up from the horizon faster than a plane is capable of. I feel like it responds to me, is aware of me watching it. When it does obtuse angle shifts, I suspect it's more than any known object. I wait for the giveaway sudden dart across the sky like a shooting star, which UFC technology is recognized for because modern science (or at least what's available to public knowledge) is not capable of doing yet. It darts a few hands, then slows quickly. Odd. It wasn't as fast as I expected. Is this not an extraterrestrial craft? It changes course to come down to me. Other people by now have noticed it and have come to the dock. Two civilian men are standing in the swamp where it hovers down to. It looks like a truck with a large camper, except it has plane wings and a metal cage over top with a satellite dish, and is 1' wide across the bumper x 2' long. On the hood and on either side of the vehicle reads NASA. Oh. It's a drone. The locals standing with me are bothered by the object. One grabs it out of the air where it hovers to the side of the dock just above the water. It's engine whirs as the propeller on top in the cage contraption no longer holds the weight or can dictate it's position. Whomever is controlling it is obviously trying to get the drone loose. I tell them to leave it alone, that it's an experiment for NASA and means us no harm, that someone worked hard on it and its not our place to claim ownership. The man holding it speaks sarcastically at the truck. A woman's voice returns, its controller and likely its engineer. "Let it go please." The woman says over a radio somewhere in the mess of rods on this device. "See?" I tell them, "Someone will be looking for it."

"Oh, then we should make sure it's working properly for her." Another man says as he pulls on some tubes. "Do you think this helps?" He says carelessly. I argue, and reach for it to try and pry it away, but I get knocked down in the swamp. My arm makes contact with the surface. I quickly stand up and study my arm. The water was known to be infected. The locals wear tall boots when they have to wade through it. Tiny brown worm creatures are burrowing furiously under my skin. There's no blood, they are only a centimeter or two long and no thicker than a few strands of hair. I wipe my arm with my other hand to prevent more from disappearing into my skin. I know a few already made it in. I'm no longer concerned with the device, I have to get out because they are swarming the bottom of my legs already.

The remedy was to put the body part under hot water. Somehow it suffocates them or is too intense that they escape by leaving the skin of the host. Except when they do the hot water directly on them kills them. I watch in horror and relief as many more than I thought had made their way in are climbing out of my arm. Some are escaping by moving further up the arm. I have to adjust the location of the water. I even, at some point wrap turnoquits to cut off circulation and access to the rest of my body. I repeat on the other arm, again, finding many more than I thought had entered falling out. Still no blood or holes when they evacuated. I only saw the bumps of them crawling under the skin and the progression of their bodies climbing out before they fell into the sink. I had to do the same with my legs, the worst infected. I drew a hot bath and conceptualized how I would tie my upper legs and sit in the water without lowering too much of myself. I didn't want them to touch any other part of me. They couldn't climb out of the water, they needed that medium for some reason. So only what touched the water (outside of my skin) could be accessed. The hot water may not be killing them enough, just expelling them from the skin.

The Worm Theme

Of all the recurring themes (see also post featuring worms attack in desert that were snakes in the forest, but worms in the desert, and human-arthropod hybrid, and post where I almost sit on a grub, also encounter with deviant alien worm creature in small UFO not previously recorded on this blog, and finally see posts under marker DS1 detailing my theory about a blood-dependent parasite that feeds on humans and related dreams in this series) I've dealt with over this last year, this one may be the worst for me. I cringe at the notion of worms that want to crawl into my body, but for some reason it's important enough to keep coming up. My working theory is that this theme represents disease, or virus because it seems triggered by content from my waking life featuring virus outbreak. A kind of blood disease? (See dream post about retro-virus at the end. I haven't actually recorded this one, ugh. Too many. Understand that I still have recorded dreams from November and December 2012, and apparently that one from January 2013. Bear with me on that. I dream every night and don't always record them, though I remember them, and find I have to describe them first in order to reference them when they become relevant later.)

I can't escape the presence of water as the medium for transference of these buggers. I've been asking lately to my dream guides, "What happens when I submerge in the water", metaphorically I am asking why haven't I been depicted under water, only swimming on top of the surface or above. What does it mean for me to be submerged? How does that translate to my effort to travel body and spirit connected in the ether to other realms and worlds? The answer of this dream suggests I would pick up a kind of spiritual parasite if I were to do so. This idea has been communicated to me before, the risk of traveling through the spirit realm without an anchor in the physical. There are different regions in water and different regions on land; there are different regions in the spiritual plane in either situation of being tethered to the land, and free-floating in or under the water. So if I even tough a tainted, or dangerous region of the spiritual plane, even with a shallow depth from the land, I can contract a 'spirit virus.' I believe it's a caution to not blindly jump away from my safety tether, which is my body on the physical realm. I need to know where I'm going. Well, how do I know where I can go though? Can I swim in a tank with my friendly seal brothers, instead of open ocean? A tank that is regulated and maintained by loving, tethered groundskeepers? I've seen many swimming pools and closed play structures over the water, and large showers and baptismal-like tubs. Could that have all been cluing me in as to what kind of closed water source I need in order to do the kind of travel I want? In one recent dream I was hopping in and out of swimming pools in a training exercise running away from my mates. They had to catch me, but rarely dared to jump in the pools. They preferred to stay on land, and when they did jump only one of them did in any pool and they were slower than I could swim. I perhaps have the potential to move swiftly and acrobatically in and out of body-spirit realms. This makes sense given my explorations into how it would be possible to identify anything solid while traveling as non-local energy. I dreamed it was like running alongside a large pipeline in an closed facility. I stopped when I noticed a toy I wanted to pick up to keep for my son. In other words, you can see what you're passing by, just at a tremendously faster pace and processing power.

The only tank dream I had with my assigned seal friends, they were frozen and drowning. I criticized their caretakers and tried to throw rocks in, but was overcautious about contacting them or the water. The caretakers then unfroze the water and watched me suspiciously, wondering why I was trying to interfere and feeling offended by my assumption that they were doing a lousy job of monitoring the animals conditions. Who can I have represent the caretakers so I can trust them to perform their job well? Any marine biologists depicted in movies like Free Willy, and Andre. I should rewatch them for fresh content if I have any hope of this working.

Indicators of Rough Winter Approaching?

(Originally published 9/28/13)

Further analysis from post "Communicating with Other Realms and Advancing our Technology"

In the above post, I discussed the entity's warnings from the CHANI project. He said to watch our Sun, and talked about a merging.

Contactees are familiar with the symbol of two triangles overlapping, one upside down, one upright, with the tips 'merged.' This symbol has been seen on the uniforms of many extraterrestrial/dimensional beings, and was explained to mean 'the merging of two worlds.' The merging may not be of two physical objects, but of two dimensional worlds, the physical plane with the higher vibrational one where our galactic neighbors move freely through, a sort of ocean of infinity.

Our sun (See heading "Dwindling Resources and the Coming Ice Age" in this post for further info.) has had the lowest maximum number of sun spots in 200 years (article link). The last time it was this low triggered a mini ice-age. Scientists warn about terrible weather and colder than usual winters. My dreams about an arctic wasteland where San Francisco once was and torrential rainfall with flooding in the Pacific Northwest didn't make sense to me until now. I thought it was related to an Earth's polar shift (which I'm still not ruling that out, but I don't know how to gauge that event). Much of the weather information I've been accumulating is beginning to come together. The erratic Jet Stream, the abnormal weather conditions in places not used to such extremes, the warnings about horrible storms and a cataclysmic event from various sources. Sensitives everywhere 'feel' a pressing urgency to prepare for catastrophe. I have never felt inclined to talk to people outside of this blog about it all until putting it together with the reports about the Sun's lack of activity this year. Again, I do not approve of doomsayers, and I am not trying to be. I have heard the change will be sudden, happening in the span of a season, particularly in a summer or spring season (though I don't know why). All I tell people in my circle is to prepare for a rough winter, just in case.

Quenching a Thirst

Summary: Symbiosis with a sexual spirit;  Awkward intimate encounter set-up; Surface of water as an intermediary between dimensions; Obsession with water; Quest to learn how to travel inter-dimensionally with body and soul joined; Cattle mutilations supplying evacuation planets for Earth's people.

I'm carrying around an attachment to a sexual spirit that I may have invited as a type of walk-in to teach and explore with me this body's sexual impulses, needs, and nature. It is called regularly when my hormonal cycle reaches a certain stage, and it demands I yield to let it settle the built up energy. It very well could be feeding on it in a symbiotic relationship. I once dreamed I was a vampire starving myself because I didn't morally approve of my biological nature to feed on humans. In a desperate act that overtook me, I fed on a human I was supposed to be in cooperation with. The act was sexually pleasurable feeding on the muscle above his collar bone. I was abhorred with myself when my higher brain functions returned. Worried I killed the last human I ran to the upper floor, only to be greeted by zombified humans. Not wanting to be infected, I fell out a window. I was redeemed, able to to join the survivors in a peaceful, post-apocalyptic society by the ocean. In this respect, it would seem I fought this demon before, and now am able to carry it around in cooperation. Is this the dragon I fought and have absorbed in successive lifetimes?

Couple nights ago, I dreamed I had intimate relations with someone from my elementary school that I knew of up and out of highschool, whom I never had interest for, so it was awkward at first. But we still connected and found we had an appreciation for each other that allowed us to express it, though we didn't ever really interact throughout our school careers together. But what's more interesting that highlighted this scene of the dream in my memory is that we met in a boat on a dock to be together. We just lay down in the boat. And I had the sense that some other figure was present who was facilitating the exchange, like the figure led me to this boat to be with this old acquaintance. It felt setup; there was a pressure or expectation that we were to lay with each other.

Interdimensionality

In my research and intrinsic motivation to understand the fabric of reality and its relationship with perception -because it is key to explaining how beings are able to manifest, or phase, in and out of our dimension/reality/space-time line - I came across an account detailed in a book by Ruth Montgomery "Aliens Among Us" (which always ignites the tune to "Angels Among Us" in my head), in which she relays her correspondence with a contactee and walk-in who identified the visitors his son first encountered as Kantarians (so they called themselves). He told Ruth they are 'interdimensional' beings rather than from our own space-time continuum. They are one race who has guided Earth since our beginnings and are devoted to helping us through an eventual cataclysm, as they have done before. "Itan informed that he and his friends were from another planet that existed in another dimension. They had visited Earth for centuries and had attempted to make some contact with humans, but found most of them to be too manipulative and selfish..." (pg 91).

My subconscious fleetingly thought "I still don't understand interdimensionality" and moved on, without dwelling on it. The feelings was a simple truth that surfaced for an instant than subsided. I didn't pay much mind to it because it has been a piece of the enigma I have been trying to comprehend.

Last night's dream let me experience how this interdimensionality feels, in order for me to understand it. I understand through psychological experience, visually and immersively, thus dreams are a perfect method for my learning. I'm in a small group of at least two other women (mothers from my waking life). We are skipping through dimensions all based on the same outline. Not the same space-time, each dimension is its own space on its own timeline, however, it all features the same setting outline and the same colony of people as outlines. They are each independent, but similar. Only way I know to describe it is to take a page from a children's coloring book and copy it. Give ten different people and children a page and let them color it. Each will be unique, but ultimately it is based on the same template or outline, just colored differently. Each dimension is based on the same template of a building and a culture of people. But the culture, dress, personalities, details in each dimension is 'colored' differently.

The Other Shade of Reptilian: Part 2 of Sexual Hunger

(See post "Sexual Hunger" for more details leading up to this)
Spiritual Plot, Hunger Fever, and My Handler(s)

Last night I sat outside in the cold aftermath of a rainstorm while my son went to sleep, to decompress, and mourn somehow. Throughout the day people were pointing out to me my tardiness in dates:  not checking my phone for messages, not providing ample warning of schedule changes, not turning in application until close to the training dates, not replying to my client until two days before a session, not finishing the story I needed for our session until the day before. Perhaps some of those delays are understandable to the variety of things I manage (notably my son), but it degraded me nonetheless. I cowered meekly, embarrassed that I would be defined as irresponsible or flaky. I explained to each of them as best I could part of the problem that I provide myself flexibility where I can to not overstress about life or live by a clock, like I did for ten years of my life during school. I clarified a few other points for them, depending on my honesty to appeal to their sympathetic natures, but when I sat outside, I let the deep truth spill over me. I am caught up in a complex story which I cannot seem to explain to anyone else in a way that makes sense or catches their interest enough to listen and grant me the benefit of the doubt. I wouldn't need their approval through expressed interest if it wasn't for the fact that my own critical mind doubts the reality of my elaborate and unprovable fantasy.

I gave myself permission to write it out as if I were to make an actual evaluation based on the self-evidences I have. Here they are, as bizarre as they sound: