Dec 2, 2014

Math of Love

Update on Math Dreams, see original post Math Test and ZPE Science and Correlations on Dr. Greer's Lecture

Math homework and tests in my dream world were reminding me of what it takes to make contact in my dreams. It kept showing those loved ones I have no contact with in my waking life due to  circumstance. The ex-girlfriend living on the other side of the country, the childhood sweetheart keeping his distance. I'm doing to her what he has been doing to me. It helps me understand how he still may love me, as I still love her, but am not willing to complicate my life again by communicating with her.

In this dream (Nov. 15 or 16th, 2014) where I am avoiding her and he is avoiding me (pretty accurate reflection of the truth), I am almost done with my math test. I just need to return to the classroom and hope I have time, that the teacher hasn't already collected them and would still accept a delayed one. I figured out how I did the first quarter of the test wrong and wanted to correct it. Regardless of whether I could or not, I knew I would pass, but I wanted to complete it to the best of my ability. I sang a song of love arm in arm with a friend from highschool as we walked back to class with my sweetheart watching us from behind. I suppose I felt all I could do was show him I'm full of love, even if he wasn't ready to receive it.

My memory of past discoveries is not always the greatest, which is ironic since I can recall faint dreams. That dream reminded me how dream contact works = distance + love. In the cases of my ex and my childhood sweetheart, even when I am not thinking about them, they show up in my dreams.

I tried to apply this formula to contacting extra dimensional beings, my guides in particular. The ones I know are there when I've reached the threshold of my ability or limits, but are annoyingly silent until you meet them as far as you can. In writing my book or conducting this dream research or struggles with daily life I lean on the hope of their guidance. Except I wonder how my knowledge compares to theirs. Are they thousands of years more advanced in their sciences and compassion than us as I have always imagined them? How involved are they in guiding progress and the development of the human soul as I have come to believe?

The next night (Nov. 16 or 17th, 2014) I dreamed my class was assigned a project and essay I only had one night to complete. Students brought what they had to start with. Our teacher showed off a three fold poster base with one color of marker's zigzag tracks as a makeshift fill in of the white background. She praised it saying "Look what so-and-so has for a base." It was so simple. If that passes for impressive on what the teacher wants to see, I've been way overthinking the project details I was so stressed about not being able to get done. The teacher suddenly dies and I am left with the decision of whether to walk away from the projects and the stress of finishing them, or complete them because I was already so far into them. I was not attached to either one of the assignments. They were pointless to me originally. But after I let myself be random and free with them, they became fun. I woke before making a choice.

Would I still do my projects if there was no teacher to be proud of me or guide me along the 'right' path? If no higher master was monitoring my progress on my book (Imaginary presences in everyday life), or my spiritual achievement, or influencing the order of events in my life, would I still carry on doing them just the same? I lack such confidence to bring this all to the world, all the while I cringe in anger at the same old stories and ideas that come out of the mainstream. I would still finish this book, I'm too far to quit now. I would still do my dream research because I can't stop dreaming. I would live my life with sacrifice and dedication to my family. It's not that I need to believe they are there, I know they're there and silence annoys me. It's condescending. I've volunteered for temporary retrieval if it means getting something of substance to confirm or deny or expand upon our collective knowledge of extraterrestrials, higher dimensional masters, . Call me impatient. But you've encouraged us to ask for verification. Be angry with me if you must, but you cannot ignore . If you're our equals, come say so. If you're our gods, then say so. Prove your relationship. Talk to me! (sob)

Remind me how to love you again so I can see you. Is my desperation enough? I don't want proof you exist, I want proof that you're still there. That you haven't abandoned us to figure out our problems alone. How many times of repeating a pattern there is a better solution for before he asks for help? How many times do I let him make that same mistake before I guide him toward another path? I'm impatient because I want to see global change of consciousness, not just reiteration of my faith. I know the issue with Chris is a lesson in patience. The time isn't right, and it won't be by force. Things must align. This dimension is too slow. I know we've had this conversation before:

"Say we do land and try to help. How do you foresee your people receiving us?"
"They will fall to their fear to protect them from an unexpected change. They will doubt your intentions. They will assert their independence. We are stubborn fools. But we have to be to have survived in this hell of confusion and deceit. It will take time for us to believe in you. Then there will be those who revere you, which you don't want. You want us to say we're ready. You want to work in partnership, not subservience, and humans would certainly take advantage of free love and help. I still only see it ending in war. War between human factions who fear you and want to release humanity from your assistance. Paradise can't exist on a world that welcomes darkness in its balance. Everytime I even try to imagine such a paradise, I find myself reverting into the familiarity of the darkness. We are beings accustomed to duality. We have little experience with what it looks like for duality to be one balanced whole."

My theory ever since my abduction episode being alternated between two alien ships was that they were both branches of a larger balanced cooperative. Neither agrees with the other, but they recognized certain rules. The first one had to finish their preparations for me to transfer over to the second ship. They agreed on some things too, like forcing food into my body against my control. But they way they referred to each other was that of dislike and obligation. The first one honored the fact that I would be transferred to the second alien's care. They had different approaches with me, and that was where they disagreed, in how to teach humanity. One was patient, comforting, letting the learning process be slow and natural. The other was impatient, and believed we should face the truth however uncomfortable or jarring it is. The truth in this encounter was the transference of a person's consciousness to a next available... clone? Though I never left the same chair, I felt my consciousness move a short distance into a new head each time he shot me. But I still ended right back in the same chair and presumably the same body. He cut out my tongue, esophagus, and my arm. I had to learn to breathe through a flappy throat space or 'die' again. I finally decided I had to try the impossible despite what I thought I knew. My only other option was to die. I believe I was finally desensitized by the end of our encounter to the fear of death, but it doesn't work the same way in this reality. I could die and come back to a new body in my same body? How does that make any sense.

Yes it would still be overwhelming to see you, which may be why I'm not on every mountain with my arms raised to sky. Gradually, I get it. You must be visited by torture victims on a regular basis. People at the edge of their lives and sanity. I was abducted at a terribly low point in my life, but I learned more from it than any single dream I've had prior. The food processor the first alien was trying to get me to understand may have been a consciousness assisted technology. I didn't get it at the time, so they had to rush me through by just throwing the tray of unassembled nutrients into my stomach. I will never forget the feeling of being in their presence. How do they operate so clearly in that dimension? I had struggle just focusing my eyesight on anything that didn't excite me (aliens! tall blonde shapeshifter eagle woman! on board a cool vessel! calming, handsome voice! transluscent blue/green alien arm!). :) I was essentially a child in their realm.

Maybe that's what I'm trying to design, a consciousness activated technology. That is what I saw in this dream. My group home had a field generator that I interacted (literally) with to manifest the food on our table. It was an incredible experience. Love creates a contact vector in the zero point energy field. If this were manifested, a starting experiment would be successfully contacting someone who is asleep using the device. They would have to verify the contact. How do you amplify the vector with a device and target it? Right, it's consciousness assisted. Closest thing we have to brain assisted tech I'm aware of is programmed to your brain patterns, and the software is limited by its programming.

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