Jun 23, 2014

Truth Shall Set Us Free

Summary: The tendency of fear surrounding the mystique of dark entities operating in the realm of non-locality; dream response to my inquiries on my obsessive drive to improve the conditions in our physical existence; cleaning up the appearance of galactic species sharing space with us; family channelings and small daily prophecies.

Dreams between 6/19 - 21/14

Lately I have had string of dreams about my extended family (my parents, relatives, and such). The first one was an annoying reminder of how many grudges members in my family hold against one another. This is a fact I have tried to reconcile, and am exhausted from it. I want to wash my hands of it, but I feel a responsibility to helping my family find forgiveness, understanding, and unity.

Then the next night I dreamed my uncle tells me "You know I won't be here much longer?" He was referring to being in the physical realm. In the dream, he is drinking wine, which I've never seen him do, and he seems relaxed and anticipatory about his parting. "It's okay, though. I'm ready to go." He says, sensing my concern. "I want you to know how much I appreciate you." He says very uncharacteristically. "Okay Uncle John, I have to potty now." He had entered the bathroom to retrieve his bottle.

I look out the window of the bathroom. Snow is falling thickly. Snow? In spring? I think to myself. The snow flakes aren't ice crystals though, they are doves mating in the same shape for each 'flake.'

I also dreamed my dad fell asleep at the wheel during a road trip. He is getting older, and perhaps his body can't handle the road trip scheduled in July to Idaho for our family reunion. I'm wondering now if I should come up to drive us all, rather than meet my dad and sisters there. It's out of our way, and I don't know how we will all fit. Really, I feel this dream was simply pointing out the consequences of my father's climbing age, for my awareness.

My sister went into labor the night I dreamed about my uncle. I expected the call that following morning to be about my uncle passing. It was the announcement of my about to be an aunt. My uncle has been happier recently than he has been in years. He reconciled with his daughter and pulled himself out of static unemployment. He is a war veteran and the oldest of my father's siblings. He is in his fifties or sixties. For reference, my grandmother died in her sixties, so short longevity may run in my family. Except I plan on living beyond 100. The point being, his parting could also be close, but I don't think that was the message of that dream. It was informing me of his changed attitude and that he did appreciate the care I tried to show him, though my sisters only expressed disdain. I gave him a book on coping with one's mortality. This was a strange dream in that I never believed he read it, and maybe he didn't. But I did talk to his daughter (my cousin) about saying any peace she needed to when they were on ill terms. I asked if he were to die tomorrow, would she be satisfied with the things left unsaid. We discussed a way she could find peace with their falling out. Surprisingly, they're relationship has found renewal. I think I was channeling his feelings of graciousness. I hope to see them all in the next few weeks for our family's annual reunion.

Mixed in with my dreams are realistic little previews about rather trivial everyday living. Yesterday (June 21/22) I dreamed the light in the mud-room burnt out again. It could certainly be near time to replace it, since it burns out every few months (damn light). See this post about the connection between dreaming and electrical systems. I told Jim "Expect that light to go out sometime soon again. Do we have a replacement bulb?"

Can't Shake the Urgency
I also asked my dream guides why I get anxious about being productive and why I feel such pressure to be pushing hard on so many topics. Everything I am doing is a battle against social standards. Research, fundraiser, tracking, analyzing, raising, writing, cleaning, exercising. I am always busy. I'm obsessed with improving the conditions of our reality, especially where tolerance and knowledge are concerned. Originally I asked why I have this unrelenting urgency to keep working, keep fighting? When I am not, anxiety stirs in my chest. I feel an acceleration that excites me, but I have doubt that the projects I perform are so important to the greater picture. My doubt is my resistance. My procrastination is my anxiety. You kept pushing me to recognize the best place for me was on the side as an independent agent, never fitting into a current mold, yet never successful in organizing my own social group. I reach high so I can float on my way back down. Plans weigh heavily on me. My book, my fundraiser, Chris, allotting time to work on this website. Who is imposing this pressure? Why can't I take it day by day without anticipation of completion and urgency?

My dream guides responded with a scene of me taking a cool moment to try to ride a skateboard along a sidewalk in Portland. Its late at night; I am on a break from working difficult matters out with my family. We had some success, and there was an appropriate time for a break, so I took it.

A man scooping up shit outside a zoo says to me as i pass "They have me working nights, but I'm not supposed to be doing this. Finally someone to relieve me." I chuckle as I role past him through a shortcut, then pause when I reach a short drop back to the sidewalk. I figured he was being sarcastic that I must be there to relieve him. The man follows and says "No, I meant you are going to take this over. I'm done." And tries to hand me the shovel. I refuse and walk away, but he pursues. I explain I have to return to Medford to my son and partner. He is obviously tired of being stuck with the shit jobs. We approach a sudden, and steep drop-off in the paved road that extends over a freeway bridge to the other side. On the other side, a racing event of hundreds of Irishmen begins. They are approaching us and we know we'll be trampled. I find a spiraling staircase down to the bottom road, which the zoo maintenance guy follows. I yell for my dog, holding my son in my arms now, somehow.

Unclaimed responsibility pursues me because I happened to come across it and so many things need the attention of someone who wants to see it improved and orderly. I would've felt obliged to clean up that zoo just to because I would be the only one who would. I have a strong sense of responsibility. I enjoy the active lifestyle. It makes my downtime more meaningful. I understand I can't change everything, and frankly, am glad I don't shoulder those burdens I have no expertise or idea about. However, why must I do so many things? Am I happier this way? Raising a child, tending a dog and cat, home and dozens of relationships, managing a fundraiser, counseling a client, investigating RGMP cases, maintaining this website, tracking my dream downloads, writing a book, and all the million little things I call maintenance. Why do I do it when I know peace and happiness are internal? Because I worry nothing will change if there are not people like me trying to clean up the messes.

The beginning portion suggests to me that someone is handing off a shitty task they were never assigned to do of picking up the shit outside the zoo. I see the zoo as a collection of different species. That is a rather accurate description of what I have been doing, cleaning up the expected excrement of all the species crammed in a small area.

We live in a zoo of galactic species. Some are native, some are not. Someone is pressuring me to cleanup interspecies relations, and the space we share, so we can all be healthier and it will be a healthier environment for learning. No one wants to come to a dirty zoo, and that's exactly the condition its in.

The World's Fear and Unfamiliarity With Spirit
I'm very aware of how tentative and nervous people are about the workings of the spirit realm. I am constantly encountering people who when I explain what I do and things I've learned about, such as the extent of mobility and influence ET beings have in the spirit/non-localized realm, are filled with terror. A deep terror that shakes their core. The matter is shrouded in such mystery that fear is the only reaction people default to.

I want to bring light to these issues, even if we have little control over what some ET beings are capable of doing to us. The truth is they've done it for centuries and I don't believe ignorance is bliss. I believe truth, though hard to accept at first, will ultimately set us free from that fear. I want to know everything I can on each and every species and race. I want to share that knowledge with the world. Drown the mystique, unveil the demons, be curious how they work and what they can do, and be willing to learn the answers. 

You can warn me that curiosity kills the cat. Perhaps that statement is right sometimes, and certainly it emphasizes the caution that should be taken. But the prospect of that shouldn't stop us from investigating. Where is our courage? The barriers I erect around myself are filters. I can still see through their walls. You can block the view of the beast outside your gate, but you will still hear its growls. Uncovering the truth means taking risks, it means having faith, and being brave. If it helps you, increase the transparency on the walls by gradual fractions. The initial adjustment will be the most difficult.

I tried to find a 'positive' post among my archives to show to someone I was introducing my site to. Straight up positive posts aren't really in my repertoire. That does not mean everything I see and investigate is negative. Those black and white labels do me only so much assistance. To me, every single post, despite its dark and terrible content, is positive to me because it is an exercising of my gift, and it is a step toward greater information. Information doesn't scare me. It arms me. I don't always know what to do with it, but my consciousness does.

Yes, there are some awful assaults committed by incredibly powerful entities, many with ability, access, and awareness far surpassing ours. So how do you defeat Goliath when you are small and weak? What about when your opponent is cunning, clever, and dominating? You study him! Dodge for the sake of learning something useful. Deal for the sake of learning something useful. Be caught for the sake of learning something useful. But first and foremost, devise your army. Have a supporting network of spirits and guiding ET's by your side. They will supply your faith.

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