Jun 5, 2014

Moving Past Fear: Jordon's Evolution

His curiosity and confidence about his astral abilities become his defense.

The Desperation and Fear Stage

Skype interview, March 27, Jordon discusses his frustration with the evil presence who answers every time he called for help. He felt he was being fed upon. The energy of being controlled, fighting to no avail gives it a sick pleasure. He feels enslaved. He asks for answers with no avail.

Jenn: "What would you want the answers to be? What do you want to know?"

Jordon: "I want to see it come out of the shadows," to be more upfront.

Jenn: "You're probably already familiar with this idea, but in therapy a counselor would try to encourage a patient to adjust their approach toward something they CAN control. You can't control another person, you can't make another person do something they don't want to. That is obvious in this case. What can YOU do to help yourself?"

Jordon: "Figure out how to get more skilled in my OBEs. I felt empowered by the random OBEs. Never more free and safe. In fact, I don't necessarily want it all to stop, because its so supernatural, it makes me feel special."

Jenn: "Perhaps it also carries the potential to discover something amazing, such as initiating OBEs anytime you wish."

Back in Feb., Jordon's troubles, spanning most of his life, are summarized in one dream on the 20th: He talks to Whitley Streiber (author of the first book on a personal abduction experience) about being abducted. Jordon felt victimized and started crying. Shortly after, he felt levitated and probed. He felt helpless, with nothing at his disposal to save himself. Sometimes, his attacks are sudden, giving him no chance to react. "I had been doing some mental exercises earlier trying to get ready for an OBE and I had asked for assistance from friendlies.... I have some anger about feeling unprotected. I had no protection as a child from this force and now my progress has been painfully slow.  I guess I do need to meditate on creating or summoning someone. My immediate reaction growing up and what I even occasionally reverted to as an adult was to say the name of Jesus because supposedly that's what makes demons go away. I'm pretty sure that didn't work too well.

"This morning I actually broke down crying about all this and a few other things. When I was young there were times when I was up high above my bed being rotated around and it felt like I was being played with in a malevolent way. That's a big experience for a small child. I think I've had to realize how much it's actually bothered me and what an impact it's had on my life." (March 25-28th, 2014, Email)

Jenn: "I'm rather proud of you for giving yourself permission to feel the sadness and fear of the child you were. Obviously this is something profound to you. What a traumatic experience for a child to endure and of such a nature that made it difficult to talk about... Your entire being has been assaulted. Sexual assault victims feel as though they've lost claim to their bodies, that the act committed to them wasn't just physical but was a raping of their soul or personality because it took so much from them. Their safety, their trust in others, their ability to simply enjoy things were stolen and replaced with guardedness, repressed anger, self-doubt, blame, and reservedness. You really should be seeking therapy as a sexual assault victim, honestly. Though I understand its tough to convey the seriousness of this ongoing abuse to someone not familiar with supernatural events. [I have consulted a friend of mine who works as an a advocate with a local police dept. for sexual assault victims. She confirms his symptoms and personality sound similar to someone who has experienced sexual assault. But you can't prosecute a transdimensional entity for crimes committed to a consciousness confined to the physical domain.]

I really want to tell your story. This is so important. We need to help create a space where the voices of people privy to these forces are heard. "

We determined to help him create a positive persona who could distract and protect him out of or during these episodes, so his nighttimes weren't ruled by the dread of another visit from the evil presence. This involved finding a fictional or real image of a personality, either in his life, or from some media (he chose a movie), whom he admires and would feel safe with.

"If you're having difficulty coming up with the image or personality or abilities of your guardian spirit, perhaps you need more content. Have you ever played video games where the hero is supported by a female presence? Zelda had Midna, a darker version of a guiding presence, but caring and incredibly powerful. Other possibilities are Cortana from the Halo series; EDI in Mass Effect; Guardian Angel in Borderlands; Elena Ivanova in Vanquish, and Athena from the God of War series (assebled from my book quoting an article on disembodied guardian presences in games). You just need an idea you can feel a strong desire for, then imagine that being interacting with you. Introduce yourself to her, tell her what your problem is, explain what you wish to ask of her. Create yourself a link to all the knowledge and protection you believe exists but you've been unable to reach. Let her be that link as a funnel to and fro between you and whatever you need from the energetic realm. I would wager you already have an idea you just haven't granted access by believing her present, knocking at your door, trying to show you she's always been there but you weren't seeing her.
Let it be fun. Let your imagination play."

In order to combat the evil presence, he needed an equally powerful idea or image to counter it. For him, it meant surrounding himself with a positive feminine presence. "I think every man needs that strong inner feminine backing him up." Really, it meant familiarizing himself with a positive guardian he could trust and believe in, to counter a lifetime without a reliable guardian figure. It meant redefining the God/universal force from his religious youth to be something more logical than the oppressive and wrathful being shoved down his throat.

His progress was slow, according to him. But steadily he began to see changes in both the content of his episodes, and the strength of his abilities.

"I have a dream about being unable to control an old bus properly. The brakes don’t work right. Apparently you have to pump the brakes before applying them. I want to let the real bus driver drive it. I hear random noises. I’m partially asleep and I decide to try an OBE. I focus hard and its like I fall into a deeper, more relaxed state and hear a rushing noise and move up, or feel I do. It’s confusing because I can’t see much of anything. I get pulled back to my body because of some noise. I try again later and try to open my eyes. As before, there’s some hint of light on the other side of my vision. I open my eyes a little and I see the shirt that’s over my eyes (I generally cover my face to keep the light out). This is odd because I thought I’d left my body. The shirt might have been green though and the one I had over my eyes was grey. I also can hear myself breathing at one point, which must mean I wasn't far from my body. At some point I’m interfered with by the raping being. Or did I summon him? I don’t know. I feel some pressure on my rear. I strain to see him and I see a small rectangular opening with a mouth. Are there vampire-like teeth? I do a battle of wills with the being--I feel like fighting and I’m not quite as afraid. At some point I slip into a dream state or what seems like one and I tell the being that he can continue to visit if he works it out so that I come across more money in life. I’m not sure where that idea came from, perhaps it was a desperate wish. I don't know what the response was.

I’m not sure where this happened in the sequence of events but at one point I decide to just try to rocket upwards as far as possible out of the house. I feel a sense of inertia but still can’t see.  Another time I try to sit up and there’s some feeling of having done this but I feel spatially confused." (March 28th/29th 2014, Directly from his Dream Journal, Email)

"I think that sometimes what I experience as moving upwards might be my consciousness expanding outwards a little. This morning I entered that state and managed to briefly open my 'eyes' [Editor's note: He means opening his astral eyes, not his physical eyes]. There's a fan above my head and it looked different than the actual one. Also, the ceiling of the room was mostly covered in these little black decals, in some sense similar to hieroglyphic symbols. Most of the figures were different kinds of animals. I wonder what that means? My vision faded shortly after I got a glimpse of that." (March 30th 2014, Email)

In the span of a few months, though it felt like eternity to him, he was beginning to develop enough positive energy to counter the evil being's advances. He was negotiating with the being, learning to be its commander in a way by acknowledging the power it had over him was granted. He was using its unintended side effects (flexibility in expanding out of his body) for his own gain. His curiosity and confidence about his astral abilities became his defense.

Here is the most recent experience he has informed me of:
"Early morning I feel myself falling into a more relaxed state and I determine to embrace and flex my energy outward. I hear a few sounds too. Then I fall into a fairly vivid dream in Mason or somewhere similarly prosaic and decide to fly. I fly up and up and through some clouds and it's almost as if I enter another dimension and the world flips over a la the movie Inception. The city is much older and feels like Florence or something like that from a long time ago but it also has a feeling of unreality that is hard to describe. I soar down to a woman who is wearing old fashioned clothing. I think she appears to be frozen in time. Then at some point I'm back in my bed.

Upon waking I had to relax and jog my memory to remember this next part. I woke up feeling like something had happened but couldn't remember... I feel like I rose up some off my bed attempting to fly (can't see anything) and then for some reason I think of Greys and worry about them. It feels like their attention is turned toward me and I feel some sort of presence, like they had been nearby and my thinking about them had alerted them. I feel stronger than normal though and I feel as if my energy can keep them at bay. I see a small orb come into the room as if it's a probe come to check me out. I continue to say 'no' or something to that effect and it dances around a bit. I feel as if I'm also protecting myself against rape but it's working. I'm not sure what happened after that, there's a blank space. Maybe they got me, I don't know." (May 15th, 2014)

Devising a Guardian Presence

Jordon chose Ridley from the movie Alien as a fitting female model of a guardian presence.

Jenn: "That guardian image is great. Refreshing your memory by rewatching the movie with this goal in mind should help, yes. Content is important for the energetic realm, especially if you don't have an idea of your own constructed yet. Your imagination needs raw materials first. Providing that will be a good step toward the relief and evolution you seek. Memory gaps tend to be things without clear form in the physical universe. Remember you are dealing with energetic derivatives and essences that may or may not be easily depicted with the current experience and imagery at your disposal. This is why study, providing your dreams the content they seek to more accurately convey messages and info is so important. What research might help your dreams better communicate with you? What topics or areas do you sense it wanted to explore with you more deeply?"

Jordon: "I suppose the daily inputs of imagery are important. For instance, shortly before going to bed I watched this music video: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=t5Sd5c4o9UM  Kanye West then showed up in my dream as a figure that was far more capable than me while my dream ego was fumbling around and could barely get things done. My dreams typically revolve around getting me to leave or reconcile past internalized places, people, and experiences. My anima also makes regular appearances, continually trying to complete union with me."

Contact Experiments

As further assistance, I declared my protection and spiritual cooperation to him, which resulted in him being able to see my essence as well.

On April 20th, 2014, Jordon attempted to contact me via dreaming. "Anything out of the ordinary happen in your dreams last night?" He asked.

Jenn: "The other night? I can't recall. I know its there, but I've erected some pretty powerful filters so I'm not overwhelmed by my dreams everyday. Sat. night I dreamt about a cat (whole story related to me getting a new cat, they were born that night). Last night, I dreamt a very bizarre dream where I'm copying down some complex, and unusual symbols from a piece of paper belonging to someone sitting at the next table over. I instructed my partner to make a diversion and call him away so I could record the symbols on the paper he had on the table.The symbols were important, and my consciousness sight honed in on them to focus so I could write them accurately. When I hone in, I feel like its new information I'm deliberately trying to encode deeper so my waking self will remember it.

As unscientific as it is, many of my dreams don't trigger to the surface until something happens to draw them out. It's like being a sleeper cell. Seriously. I'll dream, forget the dream or not be able to recall, then something signals it to my conscious memory. What was your experience that night?"
In a Skype interview, Jordon recalled his experience that night. He meditated on the strong spiritual energy he felt before he fell asleep. The next image he remembers is his vision opening up to a field of stars. He zeroed in on a brighter star and knew it was me. He also saw blurry futuristic images, possibilities perhaps. He felt he was contacting someone in another realm.

When he described this dream, my memory sparked. I had wondered a few nights prior why he hadn't moved beyond his ceiling yet? His OBE's were still having him levitate no farther than his ceiling. I envisioned the ceiling of his room becoming transparent and letting him view the night sky above his bed. I was aware of this happening to a friend of a psychic who described the incredible sights before her to the two other witnesses in her room, including the transparency of the ceiling and a helicopter flying just above. (Account by Ted Rice, Authored by Karla Turner, Masquerade of Angels).

To us, this was a successful, though unintended, contact experience with each other though the spirit realm. My vision for him was a fleeting thought, though powerful. Those fleeting and clear thoughts tend to be the most powerful. Those are the ideas that spark my most profound dreams with obvious response to the idea because they are pure interactio with spirit. I'm always baffled by how little effort those require, because the mock the amount of effort I make to initiate dreams and recall and type them. I had faith, knowing, that at some point he should be able to do what I envisioned.

Next, to end our session, Jordon asked if I could meditate on his relationship with this woman who's come into his life. The situation with her has filled him with concern because she exhibits deep spiritual talent, and yet is slave to an unhealthy cycle of affection for men that do not appreciate her. She had encounters with the Devil, bizarre events of the supernatural happen to her throughout her life.

I told him I would meditate on their relationship and report any insight I gain. That night, I dreamed I happily was attending a family reunion of close friends like Jordon and Chris in attendance as my spiritual guests. Jordon brought a woman with him. "My initial feeling was sadness or jealousy maybe when I heard you brought a woman with you. But the feeling faded as quickly as it arose and was replaced with humble acceptance with a joyful knowing that her presence beside you will contribute to the enjoyment of the group rather than distract you from it, so long as you invite her to join. The other way it could go was her sucking you into her hesitation, and all your time would be spent trying to convince her its okay. I didn't know which way it would go, but I resonated faith in the joining and fun way. I let you both be to pave whichever of those paths for the time you're here at the reunion. There were other activities just beginning that I wanted to participate in.

However, later in the dream, after a long drive/journey with my family and Chris, we 'return’ (been checking back in regularly? Felt I'd been here before) to what seems like ruins of a building carved partially out of rock on a foreign planet. We are checking to see how the repairs are going. I see an underlying image in the 50 Ft rock Mt that overlooks the ruins. I squint and focus to reveal a rather disturbing realization of ‘who' we are checking in with as to the progress of this ancient home. An alien figure, motionless watches from what is supposed to be a camouflaged one-way mirror. Graffiti litters the tiled wall and ceiling behind him. He has no reaction to my noticing of his presence. We expected someone else was fixing the ruins, but somehow we were through our alternate reality existence (physical world). He was observing our progress silently. There was an emotion I felt from him… what was it. Disappointment, verging on anger. I felt a malevolence in him. Even the omnipresent spirit aliens I encounter emanate their agenda, and though some are more benevolent, there are degrees of both, just as a human has. I just know I didn't like how he judged us. And I was puzzled (both in the dream and now in waking state), why he was in a graffiti filled, subway station-like place.

I actually rebelled by engaging sexually with a man in my group that had an essence of you, but wasn't you. I debated in the dream with how he felt like three different people. Distinctly though, the only personality I could place being part of him was yours. The scene changed to a high-rise bedroom where I come on to this friend. He is unsure because the ruling powers that be forbid such closeness because it threatens their control. A dimensional presence is criticizing our action from the whole area where the doorway and closet are (but in a rift, not present, but sensed). The point was that he was a friend, and was afraid of repercussion. Daring to connect in body would connect our spirits.

For a moment we would transcend the horrific and deteriorating state of our world, by enjoying bliss. A state which the controlling forces put ideas in place in the population thru fear to prevent. I struggled to overcome that conditioning as well, but I knew, above it all, that the seed of spiritual recognition and the freedom that would bring us from our shackles under the controlling forces’ tyranny had to be started. The world outside is moments after apocalyptic changes have begun to shift the mentality of the population toward despair and survival.

I believe we chose to concede. You were too nervous to commit an act that would sabotage our life in the system, however repressed it was. And I didn't want to force someone to help me take a stand for a new paradigm that would mean suicide. In fact, you mentioned a relationship with a woman. If you chose this outright rebellious act, you would undoubtedly be on the run, and in essence have abandoned her. The routine of our imprisonment felt safe, though we all knew something better could be had. By not fighting, we were empowering our rulers. We kept the key in our pocket because everyone else covered their keyholes in fear. For us to have been enough to start the revolution, we would have had to be willing to sacrifice our relationships for the sake of their happiness. Which is better:  living life together under duress, or being apart working for a better future? I don't have an answer. Each to his own on that one. But it is the dilemma we all face."

Jordon: "I have to admit, I've really been looking forward to hearing this dream.  I wonder if that other woman is Jodie. I've told you about her but you also might have sensed the presence of a new energy in my life. Did you experience jealousy when I initially told you about her?"

Jenn: "You and the woman in my dream were newly reunited, and wanted to spend some much anticipated time exploring your intimacy. It could have been Jodie, that's what my waking self wanted to assume, however, that is not for me to decide. My dreams have trained me to let them be what they are. All the information I need was present in the dream, its just a matter of translating and recognizing the density of feelings and events. Its a download that sometimes can take months for me to remember. Questions help. So, as far as I'm concerned the woman was a woman you brought along as a guest and you were both excited to have some alone time. You both saw this family reunion as vacation time that was long awaited. Whatever that means to you is your own story. I want to learn to only offer the visions how I experience them."

Jordon: "Your dream seems to reflect the in-between nature of the relationship at this point. It has seriously challenged me to both let go and open my heart to a new kind of intimacy. I'm also pretty wary at this point...

"I think the idea of a reunion is interesting because it reflects the nature of getting to know someone that you have a deep soul connection with. Kind of like Rumi said, "Lovers don't finally meet somewhere. They're in each other all along." It actually feels like reunion and coming home, even though you might not have spent much time together in this realm.....

Jordon Cont.: "The subway station suggests something in the collective... You're being given a special peek through the one-way mirror that people shouldn't be able to see through, and you see some very human accoutrements around the alien. I almost get the feeling he's trapped. Maybe he's pissed for some good reasons?"

Jenn: "I don't know if he was trapped, more like he couldn't cross the barrier into the ruined landscape of another planet (another time? Another dimension. Yes.) that we were on. Did he feel WE don't belong here? No, its shared, but they are waiting for a time when we have remade our original home. This may be more about an ancient galactic land dispute between two species. During the Lyran Wars, supposedly the tall blondes evacuated their home world to settle on a few worlds across this side of the galaxy. Wanted to say the Alien was Arthurian, but he was very gray, not at all like the Arcturians I've come to know. It was however like one of the Arthurian pictures I've seen on arcturi.com . Could they have multiple races within their group? That has never been mentioned to my knowledge. It was not evil or devoid of emotion. It was annoyed, and disappointed in our progress. An Old One? I don't know. His face was shadowed because of the one way window, but I still sensed his facial features because I was trying to determine what species he was. And I lingered there on that question because his intellect and watchfulness was contradicting his racial temperament. "

Jordon: "...What part of the "three different people" man felt like me, ie what aspect of him reminded you of me?"

Jenn: "The man combined of three people contained personality of you with regard to close friendship and newly realized awareness of our potential to be players in the grand design. The only other way he resembled you is hard to break down into words because its a complex symbol. It had to do with the dream trying to show me that my team is not willing to break stigmas on intimacy yet, as I am nudging us to do because I believe it will help us overpower the parameters of our prison that keep us controlled with fear and judgment. Its a higher mission I've taken on related to my poly nature of wanting to show others that love is infinite, to expand our definition and allow ourselves room to explore ourselves and share love in all its forms. I'm challenging the restrictions of marriage and the ideas set centuries ago as having been a scheme to keep us imprisoned, by building a skewed foundation of what connection and love and commitment (Unity or entanglement are better terms to describe the underlying processes). A healthier, free way was warped, using the same good concepts and infusing them with guilt and shame when veered from. The concept is still good, but the added elements centuries of religious interpretation have imposed as a standard for all at any given time is excluding. I'm not saying we should all be free to fuck like monkeys, I'm looking at how much we've stigmatized touch and sex in our public lives. Why isn't sex in all its myriad forms explored in open media more?" [Note: The Pleyidians teach sex cultivation and understanding between sensual emotion and physical desire. This is mentioned in both the Alien Races Book, see post, and is in accordance with contactees to Pleyidian representatives. I do not know if I am in contact with members of this race, however, I am surprised by the visitations I have in dreams by tall blonde, intelligent guides. They never tell me where they're from. Come to think of it, I haven't really ever asked.]

    Cascade Effect, Contact Again!

Jordon: "Early Wednesday morning I had an interesting experience. I entered the OB state and it felt like the rape/penetration thing was happening but it wasn't quite overwhelming. I hadn't planned this, but the star field appeared in front of me again, only this time it seemed more expansive. I sent out some signals toward you--it felt like I was calling your name a couple of times. I started to move towards the stars but then something interfered and my vision got blurry and I got pulled back to my body. I'm not sure what happened. Before going to bed that night, I'd put some intention towards contacting you or trying to initiate something in regards to Jodie. I've felt some need to explore spiritually in her direction but I've also felt a block, likely due to my own insecurities. It's interesting that on our first attempt at contact, I was able to establish some sort of connection to you, ie the area code reference in my dream. It also seems that you are able to make some sort of effect in my direction as evidenced by my seeing stars. Of course, stars are a potent symbol for both of us."

Jenn: "I think I felt your signals. I saw you pop into my dreams a couple times but I had no context as to why you were there. I wondered in confusion when your image would show up, but then I'd return to the dream. This happened with my daycare providers cat as well. She showed up randomly just sitting on the pavement. I paused and asked “Ghosty, why aren't you with your kittens?” Waited, then moved on. My provider told me Ghosty (the momma cat) has been leaving the box lately and the kittens have opened their eyes. Could Ghosty have been updating me that the kittens have reached their next stage of development? How interesting that I'm starting to receive calls in the midst of my dream trainings. I'll try to pay more attention when that happens now. I woke up thinking “Why did Jordan and Ghosty randomly make appearances in that dream sequence?” I wonder if the opposite can happen. Can you call me and peek into my dream, wherever I am? That would be incredible! If you can't get an answer, instead summon curiosity about what I might be busy doing. Haha! Leave a message after the beep. BEEP!"

Expanding His Abilities Even Further

"We think we can congratulate ourselves . . . imagining that we have left all these phantasmal gods far behind. But what we have left behind are only verbal spectres, not the psychic facts that were responsible for the birth of the gods.f" -Carl Jung

I noticed his outlook shifting from these excting events:  receiving/sharing ideas across dreams, eliciting OBEs, gaining access to a new world of information in the astral state. He turned hopeful, increasingly confident, but humble and always testing. Refining his astral levitation ability was becoming systematic. He knew what it felt like, generally what the stages of inducing an OBE are, how to excite a setting and scene about a particular topic (initial phases still). He practices when he can, and surely regression a few step backs is inevitable. Reconditioning your cognitive processes is tough. But the visitations are going hand in hand now with the other possibilities he's discovered. They no longer represent a roadblock because he's moved beyond them enough times that his ability to do so is gaining strength over that tendency to panic. He now knows what he can do to save himself.

"I am learning to use and be used by faith, hope, and love and I try to pair those with my insight. It's interesting that I didn't go entirely for being shielded from this demonic force and instead tried to make a pact with it." (Email April 6th)

Jordon, by nature, is a skeptical person, surprisingly enough, and also extremely cautious. For him to even use the words 'faith, hope, and love' to describe himself was incredible to me, compared with the criticalness which dominated our discussions.

"Yesterday morning I had a deep sense of compassion for my fellow humans and a desire to make them laugh. I also felt like I was crying. I wonder if something is uploaded or reconfigured when I have these experiences. At other times this sense of compassion has been directed towards myself. Perhaps it is my Self finally coming through the noise."

You must understand, Jordon used to be rather unimpressed, and critical of humanity. Somehow, through our work, he has awakened his humility and found understanding for the layman going about his busy day oblivious to the higher things going on. That same layman is fighting just like we are, carving out a living and finding happiness where they can reminded to enjoy it. Could be he simply has found a common enemy with his fellow man, the parasitic ET race, except he is embracing his parasite as a symbiont, an idea I lent him. Neither of us know what is right or best or good. We are just experimenting with what we have. And so far, for both us, it has served us better to strike a bargain with our demons and bring them into cooperation, than fight a losing battle.

"I guess now I see more of the good that can be unlocked and I see a good number of people waking up. I also try to balance that out by understanding the deeper trends of current events. There is cause for hope but also a real encroaching danger. That's not necessarily a bad thing because danger can help people wake up but history tells us that people have a bad habit of not listening to the few who really understand what is going on.... I think realizations and awakening to this "other" world or worlds will significantly weaken the world's power structure. People who feel truly spiritually empowered don't need idiots in suits telling them what to do or suffocating their lives with rules and controls. That is one of humanities most important tasks: to change the relationship to power. Being empowered rather than in power. Listening to the laws of nature and the heart rather than forcing people to do things at gunpoint. Your book can certainly be a part of that." (April 23rd)

Jenn: "I'm noticing how much you are freeing yourself and how that is translating into your spiritual world. I see you freeing yourself from the past, from old cyclic questions that tormented you, from doubt and fear. Do you see all this? Its wonderful. And the starscape expanding?! Wow, what a symbol. Now where do you want to go? Don't you want to explore other planets? Other stars? To see their different lights and how they affect their flocks of planets. To learn about alien cultures, see new skies! Trust you will always be able to find your way home, and lift off! I can't wait to hear what you discover as your astral self. I want to learn to fly." (May 5th 2014, Email)

    Information Download/Remote Viewing

"I’m somewhere, possibly a restaurant, and Jennifer Bynum is around. She is quite pregnant and radiant and loving. [I am not pregnant in the biological sense.] She comes close to me.
I’m driving with some people and I look up and I see a pulse detonation contrail (ie something like from an Aurora plane). I say “No way!” and become overjoyed that I’ve spotted something so top secret. Then I take some pictures of a UFO-like object(?). It eventually tumbles down to crash on the road and the road is shut down and people show up to recover it." (Dream 4/17/14, Email Mar 25th, 2014, Jordon's Dream Journal).

Like me, he's beginning to see strange technology, crafts, and unusual places. His third eye is opening to perhaps symbolic remote viewing capability in dream state. Remote viewers using deep meditation are seeing landscapes and events, people and symbols. Dreamers see most everything in a concentrated way. Dreams summarize large-scale, or deep psychological and social events. A situation is more than just events. We see all the interconnected factors of intent between different parties, inner versus outer reactions of involved parties, and symbolic representations. For instance, the landscape of Congress' lack of concern and awarness for an issue someone (the dreamer, a group, or other) believes to be important may be depicted by suits in a congressional room with two separate spotlights. The dreamer can't enter the darkness to get to the other spotlight where the congressman are without falling into nothingness. They depict spiritual landscapes, which to Dreamers, are more honest depictions of situations and people than the physical world can show. Lies and facades leave a visual and sensory clues in the dream world.

However, we can and do see physical things as they are when there is no overlain emotional content or thought that would alter them or imbue them with other qualities. Because of this, we can remote view as well, but it is more difficult to differentiate whether spirit is depicted or physical realm that lacks embedded spirit enough to alter it.

    Learning to Heal

Jordon: "Last night I helped 'Jodie' with a final paper for school she was working on and helped spark some very important ideas for her. I felt grateful that I could be a part of her process.  As our conversation was drawing to a close she read me a message from "her" Chris. She felt the message was very nice and sweet, etc. I was perturbed. I asked her if she wanted to know what I thought and she did. I then proceeded to give what I felt was quite an inspired speech about what was going on with her relationship and how dangerous it is and how it fits into past cycles. I barely remember what I said, which sometimes happens when I move into a state of speaking from a very deep place. The day before I had felt very disturbed about it all and had invited "Sophia" (Wisdom) to take the lead and I felt some peace when I did that. I feel like Jodie was unconsciously trying to draw all that out of me and I had prepared myself beforehand. Whether or not it will do any good is up to the gods... Anyway, I fell asleep after giving her my spiel and I had a dream where I was back at the place where I went to middle school. I'll omit some details for brevity and because the people might not have context for you. Hopefully that doesn't ruin it. Anyway, there was a feeling of having been called back to complete some work but then also my realization that I didn't have to because I'm an adult. That has been a recurring dream for me and it's been interesting to see how the people at the school and the environment have been depotentiated and my dawning realization in the dreams that I don't have to be there. Anyway, as I was thinking about the dream this morning I remembered that the subject I had been messing with at the school was "Word Building", basically a reading work packet I did through most of my schooling at the Christian school. Out of a sense of queasy nostalgia I did a google image search for this particular school booklet and I realized what was on the cover of every single one of those booklets I had completed over the years:


Was that something I was supposed to see? The military tech dream with the white, circular contrails was, I believe, referencing the march of certain kinds of cycles.  Back in March I had a dream involving a large white ring placed over the womb and used to abort babies and then a potential infanticide almost happened after the baby was born, which I stopped by saying "Stop, No, I love you". I believe the white ring was, among other things, referencing the cycles of negative destruction that go on in us. The rings had an efficient, clinical feel to them. Last night when I was talking to Jodie the abortion dream came to mind and it was almost as if I was speaking the message from the dream in reverse and that it was for me but also for her. I told her I love her, I told her that she has to learn to start saying no, and that she has to stop the cycles."

Jenn: "How did Jodie respond to your channeled speech?"

Jordon: "Jodie didn't say much. It was something like "Thank you for your honesty. It's sad, but thank you for your honesty." Then we got off the phone. At this point I feel like I'm moving towards letting go of the whole thing. I find it incredibly disturbing that she's been able to deny what we shared with our collaboration and soul connection. I wonder if I am some sort of consolation prize to have around while she runs off for the weekend to be with Chris and Baphomet. I also wonder how much this is too much a part of my own unhealthy cycle of becoming enamored with wounded women. I recognized from the get-go that she was dealing with some pretty serious issues but I tried to keep our dynamic as healthy as possible and I also recognized her being at a crossroads. To some extent that worked but I feel that I'm being slid into the friend zone and there is the feeling of being cuckolded by another man. That is profoundly humiliating for me. Last night I was having serious thoughts about meeting up with her and telling her I'm done with this and that I won't be in her friend zone, but I haven't quite been able to pull the trigger on that. I asked for wisdom before falling asleep last night and had some fairly perturbing dreams that pointed me back to childhood. Are these telling me that this situation has constellated my childish issues or that the situation itself is regressive and unhealthy? Both perhaps, but It's hard to get a read on these dreams. I suppose the difficulty in understanding the dreams also points to my current state of change."

A few days later, I asked for any updates on the Jodiesituation. He replied: "I see her pretty frequently since we work together. 10 days ago I finally confronted her about the back and forth nature of things and basically she friendzoned me and said she was going with the other guy. Whatever her spiritual gifts, this isn't entirely surprising given where she is in terms of her current consciousness. She had to basically become amnesiac about the connection we shared while at the same time accepting the companionship of a man who will constellate a great deal of numbness, negativity, and regression for her. She's made it clear to me that she joined him out of a sense of fear and need for protection; protection which only she can ultimately give herself. Over and over again she unconsciously tells me things about their relationship that indicate that my intuition was correct. It's become nearly comical and it's been some comfort as I feel that some more true part of herself is doing this. She's also told me a number of dreams to me that indicate the nature of her current position. After I encouraged her to ask the Dreammaker to give her a dream, she received an overwhelming, frightening dream that relayed to her the danger she's currently in. Psyche, God, whoever it is, never ceases to amaze me. She also had another frightening dream a few nights later. I have a drawing she made of the figure who visited her. Both of these dreams happened while sleeping next to her boyfriend. I remember her telling me a number of weeks back that she had dreams when she slept next to me but not when she slept next to Chris. Obviously she's started having dreams now.

My concern is that the anesthetic quality of the new relationship will numb her to what's going on, though today she told me that she is going to see a therapist that I recommended. I hope she follows through as there are some things that can only be taken care of in the safe container of a nurturing therapeutic relationship. My concern about her safety comes from my intuition, knowledge of her past and the extreme amount of spiritual and emotional energy that she is currently repressing. The body and mind will only let you get away with so much. According to her, there have been various poltergeist like activity around her recently too. It's obvious that she still trusts me a great deal but because of her past experience she can't integrate this true trust and intimacy with her sexuality. That's fine because I wouldn't get into a romantic relationship with her at this point unless she gets her shit together though I still feel a good deal of attraction towards her. While part of me wanted to avoid her for the near future, a wiser (I hope) part of me realized that I could safely navigate a friendship with her as long as I tried to stay honest with myself and her, hence why I'm pretty blunt with her and will continue express my concerns and positive affirmations.

In listening to my own dreams, I'm learning to stay out of my more childish ways and be authentic and vulnerable, but not to the point of opening myself to her demons. I feel that she's an important person, someone who the world needs and so that might relate to the sense of mission I felt in my hawk/eagle experience. Sometimes we have to do a little warfare for people. I've been attempting to initiate some sort of healing energy or spiritual visitation in her direction when I go to sleep at night. I'm not sure how that would work or if it's even appropriate...
I welcome any thoughts you have about all this..."

Jenn: "Absolutely u can send her healing energy, however I would be careful in whether it contains judgment on what is best for her. U cannot decide that. Let her show u what she actually needs. Her turmoil may be part of the process she must endure to learn something greater from, or refine skills she will be called to use later. Keep ur healing mail as pure as u can. Be specific in the message, and let it come from a place of humbleness and humility. When u have it, trust it. Give its wings strength by believing wholly that this is what u ultimately hope for her. This is true magic. I've seen it work. Its answered by forces that help it come to fruition on high priority. U are in the perfect place to do this for her because u have love for her soul. Just figure out first what u wish to command/ask (whichever suits this task) the forces to set in motion for her."

Jordon: "I feel like I've been very careful in the whole Jodie saga. I know I can't decide what is best for her... Last weekend while meditating I had a strong urge to pray for her and I did just that. It was a fairly general prayer. I cried a lot. It was surprising and very strong. Then the next day while meditating I had a healing experience of my own that was directed towards me. I'm not sure where these are coming from but I do welcome them. It seems that sometimes there is not much that can be done in the physical realm and healing, wisdom, whatever has to come from some "other" transcendent source. Opening oneself to this source can be very difficult as it goes against more childish parts of our nature, our rationalism, and our ego. I hope I can continue to open myself more to whatever source this is."

Jordon continues to receive what feel like targeted healing energy ever since he opened himself up to imagination, to dare to believe in that which we cannot see, yet sense all around. Faith of any form is difficult. And yet as easy as a child playing pretend.


Dilemmas of Spirit Manifested in Multiple Disparate Groups

Jordon and I have found ourselves in an odd mirror image trio of similar players with one another. This girl "Jodie" is dating a man named Chris. Both her and Chris are in the Army, but she has found comfort with Jordon as well. My Chris is also in the Army and has been creating equal distress for me. He appears persistently in my dreams, no matter how much I want to ignore them and live my life. In believing my dreams communicate important messages to me, I am compelled to concede and pay closer attention to why they poke me about Chris despite my desire to want to drop the whole thing. He isn't responsive, he won't exhibit an effort to see me, and I can't do text messaging anymore.

Distinguishing Types and Times of Certain Experiences

Jordon tracked his nighttime episodes enough to identify when his different types of experiences occur. In the morning is when either his positive experiences tend to happen, or the probing and levitation happens, but never in the same day. In the night he has the experience, different from the probing/levitation ones, where he is handled, though he doesn't remember much from those. The occurrence affects recall. An experience early or mid-night will disappear from working memory and won't encode as well as something that happens a couple hours before waking when the rational, wake mind recalls and then processes it into long-term memory.

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