Jul 5, 2015

RGMP Case Report #10: Jillian: Part 2

Jillian and Unicorn

         The paranormal doesn't really surprise me or freak me out. So much of it I can dismiss as my imagination, but when I found the marks on my arm, and stumbled into that mystery, it really blew my mind because it was tangible evidence, even though it was mostly faded by the next morning.  
        Jillian has accumulated an inordinate number of synchronicities and strangeness in her 28 years. Along the way, cats, both seen and unseen, have been important part of her narrative. She even made up a story about a planet she calls "Cat Planet":
        I started writing a science fiction story a few years ago in which I was sent here to gather information through a chip in my brain, and when the chip was removed, my personality was significantly altered. My love interest in the story adopted my cat after the hollow me suddenly quit caring about it, and in the disappointment of our failed relationship, the love interest began meditating and communicating with the cat, who had actually been sent here to protect and guide me during my time on Earth. The cat knew how to reach our home planet, and was eventually able to communicate the method to the love interest, so that we were eventually reunited, happily in another dimension.
Ted Andrews write in Animal Speak that, "The animal chooses the person, not the other way around." This is an important idea because it alludes to the autonomous nature of a "spirit" animal as well as the autonomous nature of the mysteries that occur in our lives. We can't plan or control them with our ego. Andrews goes on to write that the cat is often connected with the goddess as well as "mystery, magic, and independence". Seen from the perspective of Jungian psychology, aspects of this story are related to Jillian's own inner journey and integration with her animus and return to a true Self. I don't want to create a solipsism out of this story, nor suggest that there might not be other interdimensional angles to Jillian's fascination with this story though. It clearly resonates with her as far more than an odd amusement. The myth did not limit itself to the imaginal realm, though, it tangentially manifested in concrete reality:       

        The feline was based upon a cat who showed up in my "real" life, who was a big, fluffy majestic beast I named Unicorn. I had moved into an all white house with an all white cat statue in the front yard, with an all white upright piano. Unicorn just walked in to greet me the day I moved in, and we had an instant affinity. The night I wrote the story about Cat Planet, I was walking home when I found a different large, white fluffy cat in the middle of the street (it was about 3am). I thought it was Unicorn, and when I approached, it was sitting by a large pile of free things that were all cat related. There was a majestic, air brushed photo of a large white cat, maneki neko statues (the japanese luck cat), cat's eye by margaret atwood, cat power records, cat on a hot tin roof with elizabeth taylor. All of the photos and media were cat related, and given the direction my thoughts and stories had been going in, it was shocking to see. Though synchronicities have always followed me, especially after bouts of creativity, so I wasn't very surprised. As soon as the idea for Cat Planet popped into my mind during a moment of ecstatic happiness, the more I wrote about the myth, the more it began to weave itself into my mundane, waking life.
                                   Indie, a cat who showed up after Unicorn was gone, but later disappeared
        When Jillian was 27 she moved into a house where Kurt Cobain once lived in Olympia, Washington. In her words:

"Several times while meditating and doing yoga, I have experienced strange circumstances...there was a charm, a triangle in a circle, stuck to my necklace in a safety pin that had been there for weeks. After 'Smells Like Teen Spirit' randomly came on my not-at-all-grunge-rock internet radio station, the charm flew off of my necklace and landed on my bed, where the clasp was still closed. Beads fell off of my mirror that had been dangling there for months. And later that evening, all of the levers on my organ, which have to be flipped manually, changed in the middle of playing while I was not looking, completely changing the sound."
I asked her if this was unnerving or unsettling and she responded:
Living in Kurt Cobain's house doesn't really scare me. Sometimes at night I feel like I am not alone, and I can develop paranoia when walking from my room to the bathroom at 3am, but mostly I feel goodness from Kurt's energy. I was never a huge Nirvana fan, though when I moved to Olympia, where he lived before he was far too deep in stardom and was just kind of a regular person making music and doing Olympia things, his legend is stripped down, and he kind of just feels like a normal person who is always hanging around. I just get the feeling that he likes me, and he likes my friend, and we resonate with his creative energy, and that is why we occupy this house. 
        It's notable how well Jillian handles these experiences. No panicky horror movie reactions from her! I wonder if something in her "magnetically" draws out these experiences. In other words, they are not just a result of Kurt's force of personhood or something of him left behind in the environment but rather an interaction between her and whatever this energy is, something like the way hair begins to mysteriously float towards a source of static electricity. There are negative and positive poles that help these phenomena come about. Perhaps certain areas contain "memories" (sort of like the way the physical environment becomes worn and changed) that can interact with the right person in a particular way and produce meaningful events.
        Jillian has also had dream interactions with aliens that include imagery of crafts and "mysterious symbolism". She says, "I do believe there is a large intergalactic network affecting our planet and day to day lives in ways that are very difficult to pinpoint without some sort of illumination, whether it's a certain gift a person just has or must develop through the sharpening of their senses....and it all has something to do with love." During a recent hallucinogen-induced experience she "had the very vivid realization that all of the little quirks and clues and beauty in my life are a very sweet gift from extradimensional beings who care for me and connect me to the people and things in my life that lead me to healing and discovery. Which I don't believe is the case for only me, but it's really very sweet to discover."
Finn, a third cat found, after Indie's disappearance

        With all of this, what can we say about the red grid marks that first appeared on Jillian's left upper arm in April of 2015?  If nothing else, they seem to serve as a synchronistic and, most importantly, tangible reminder of her connection into other realms. They are not only a mark on the skin but a marker in her life around important creative and healing experiences. I haven't ruled out that my own marks and other people's marks aren't psychosomatic or purely physical in origin but what's most important is that they are very meaningful for some of us. A deep part of me feels that these are truly mysterious and, as yet, unexplainable.
       During the time I was interviewing Jillian via email I shared with her Jennifer's post about some other strange marks being found around the world. She told me that she has a similar tattoo of a dharmachakra on her right wrist. Shortly after learning this I was meditating at a friends house. As I was finishing the meditation I thought of how I should tell Jennifer about the mildly interesting connection. As I opened my eyes, they drifted over to a small shelf where I noticed a small dharmachakra tile! I had never consciously noticed this in the house before and I'm pretty sure it's the only one there. Whatever the etiology of this sequence, it is indicative of a fairly common and large tapestry of liminal events and impressions that bring humans into a non-ordinary inner space and weave our individual and collective lives into a more meaningful whole.

        Jillian's marks are in a hinterland where meaning, synchronicity, death, aliens, imagination, myth and other mysteries all mix together into a strange brew that many, to varying degrees, are still happily drinking even in an era dominated by scientism and materialism. Her life is a reminder that we humans are not entirely in control of our lives. Instead, each day, we are being nudged, moved, marked, or teleported to some ultimate destination that we can't yet understand.

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